A Need So Beautiful (A Need So Beautiful #1)(9)

Harlin bites his bottom lip as he looks me over. “Where’d you get the jacket? It’s hot.”

“Sarah.” I spin around slowly, showing it off. “Cute, right?”

“So cute. Now come here.” He reaches out, putting his hands on either side of my hips to pull me toward him. When we’re against each other, he pauses just as his lips touch mine. “Don’t kill me,” he whispers, “but my brothers are home.”

Disappointment fills me, and I pout a little, moving back from him. “Both of them?”

“Yep.”

I sigh. Harlin’s brothers are both in their twenties, and even though they’re pretty cool, they aren’t exactly fine with us spending the entire time in Harlin’s bedroom. I glance around the empty hallway of his apartment building. Well, at least out here we’re alone.

I push him hard against the yellowed wall before pressing my mouth to his. He reacts immediately, pulling me into him, against him. I reach up and tangle my fingers in his hair. He tastes like cinnamon, just like always. Just like he did that first time he kissed me nearly two years ago.

Before then we’d never spoken, only saw each other in the halls of St. Vincent’s. I would watch him, half-fascinated, half-intimidated. Because while all the other guys were acting like idiots—punching one another in the halls, pinching girl’s asses—Harlin kept to himself, always seeming lost in his thoughts. But when he looked at me, I got a rush. I felt alive.

Then Portland had this huge winter storm, the entire city blanketed in ice and snow. And when the power in the school went out, I found myself in the hallway of St. Vincent’s, rushing to class from the bathroom. The old hallways were dark and creepy. The usual humming of the lights silent. Dead.

I was nearly back to economics class when I felt someone touch my arm as I passed the art rooms. I spun, startled, and saw him. Green paint was smeared across his hands and now on the white sleeve of my shirt. When I looked into his hazel eyes, my heart started beating wildly, as if electricity was coursing through me.

Neither of us spoke as we watched the other. But in that moment I took in a long breath and it felt like my lungs were filling for the first time. As if I’d never truly breathed before.

Across from me Harlin shook his head quickly, his dark hair falling in his eyes. “Sorry,” he said, reaching for my hand. “I just wanted to meet you. I’m Harlin.” His voice was soft and raspy and I realized that it was the first time I’d heard him speak.

“Charlotte Cassidy,” I answered, letting him take my hand. But he didn’t shake it. He just held it.

His mouth twitched with a smile and his dimples deepened. “Where were you running to, Miss Cassidy?”

My stomach fluttered as I stood there, forgetting where I was going. Where I was supposed to be. Instead, like it wasn’t even my choice, I moved forward to stand incredibly close to him.

“I was running here,” I said, sounding confident. I’d never wanted to talk to any other guy before. Not like this.

Harlin looked me over, and then he dropped my hand to put his palms on either side of my face before leaning down to press his lips to mine. Barely touching me at all.

He tasted like cinnamon.

Just like he does now, pulling me against him in his apartment hallway and keeping me close. “Missed you,” he murmurs between my lips, still kissing me.

And I take what I can, every minute I can. Because I know that tonight there’s somewhere else I have to be.

“Hey, Charlotte,” Harlin’s brother Jeremy calls from the living room when we finally make it into the apartment. He’s sitting on the cracked leather sofa, watching ESPN in his pajama bottoms.

“I see today is business casual?” I motion toward his pants as I set my coat on the dining table.

“Only the best for you.”

I laugh and look around the place. Sneakers are piled near the door and last night’s pizza box is still on the kitchen counter. Three guys living in a two-bedroom apartment can get kind of cramped. Especially when I’m here.

But on the nights when both of Harlin’s brothers are at work, we just lie shoulder to shoulder on his bed, talking about our future. How our apartment in the Pearl District will have a spot for a studio so Harlin can paint. How I’m hoping to figure out what I want to do once I’m at Portland State. And most of all, we talk about how we’ll take a trip to California because it’s where he grew up. It was a time when he had his dad. On those nights Harlin promises to take me everywhere.

The other nights we just watch SportsCenter.

Jeremy slides over, making room for me on the couch. I drop down next to him and the anxiety begins. It feels like little vines are twisting in my stomach, making their way through my body, trying to pull me out to the street. I swallow hard and resist.

“Charlotte, you want a soda?” Harlin asks from the kitchen. I turn toward him, my head feeling heavy.

“Please,” I answer.

Jeremy picks up the remote and starts clicking through the stations. “So Charlotte, you still planning on Portland State?”

“Yep.” I can feel sweat beginning to gather above my lip as Jeremy looks over at me.

“Good girl.” He lowers his voice, glancing toward the kitchen. “You know he’s been studying for his GED, right?”

I smile. “I know.”