A Need So Beautiful (A Need So Beautiful #1)(27)

Anxiety is just about to overtake me when Sarah holds up the perfect dress. “This is it.” The shimmery navy fabric is knee length and fitted without being too tight. It’s paired with a matching jacket that both tones it down and adds class. Not to mention it’ll cover my shoulder. I think I can actually get away with wearing it.

“Well?” Sarah asks, pushing it toward me. “Try it on.”

“Uh . . .” I glance back into her room. I can’t change here. I can’t let her see. “It’ll fit,” I say. “And I should go. Harlin’s probably waiting downstairs.” I chew on my lip. “He’s not happy with me right now.”

“He’s fine.”

I hope she’s right. “Are you sure I should borrow this?” I ask, touching the silky fabric. “Maybe I can borrow something from Mercy.”

“Not that kind of event, Charlotte,” she sings, folding the dress over her arm. “I’ll have my driver drop it off at your place. I don’t want you taking it on a motorcycle. Now, run off and catch your Romeo. But please tell him that it’s black tie. And that means no leather.”

I thank her profusely before backing away, thinking again how perfect the dress will be. But as I leave her place, I feel the questions building again. I’ve been putting them out of my mind, trying to be a friend. Trying to have a normal life.

I’m about to burst into tears again when I get to the outer doors and see Harlin waiting at the curb on his motorcycle. He looks over just as I see him, a soft smile on his lips. He holds out his hand to me, and again, I feel like I can breathe. I rush out to meet him.

“Not a chance,” Harlin laughs as we climb off his bike in front of his apartment. He looks tired from staying out late with me, or maybe it’s from worry. His dark hair is hanging near his eyes and his bristled chin has gotten scruffier. Which is actually a look that I like, so I don’t mind.

“Please go with me?”

“Charlotte,” he says. “Since when do you like Sarah’s high-society charity events? And since when do you think I do?” He’s smiling at me, his hazel eyes amused and curious.

I shrug. “I don’t. But she invited us and I’ll feel bad if we don’t go.” I squeeze his hand. “Besides, it might be cool to hang out together all dressed up.”

“Will there be a band?”

“Maybe.”

His dimples deepen. “So you’ll save me a dance?”

“Every one of them.” He watches me for a long moment before exhaling. “Okay, but I’m not shaving.”

I grin. “I’m glad.”

He leans forward to give me a quick kiss. “I know. By the way,” he says, reaching into his pocket to take something out. “I saw this and thought of you.”

“A present?” I grin and snatch it out of his hand. He’s laughing, but when I look down, I gasp.

“It’s pretty, right?” he asks, reaching over to brush a strand of my hair behind my ear.

“Yeah,” I say without looking away. In my palm is a clear stone, and inside it is a small ivory statuette. A guardian angel.

“Figured if you’re going to be out at night getting hit by cars, you might as well have some backup.”

I look at him, feeling stunned. Like this is some sort of sign. But as I stare at Harlin, his mouth curved in a confident grin, I don’t care about signs. I get on my tiptoes and wrap my arms around his neck, pressing my mouth to his.

We stand there, kissing in the middle of the sidewalk in front of his building. But I don’t notice anyone but him. I’m taken in by the feel of him, the smell, the beauty. Harlin is like my drug—my constant need.

“I love you,” I murmur.

His hands rest on my hips. “Show me,” he says with a soft smile, and then pulls me inside.

Harlin’s brothers are gone and we’re in his room, backed against the door. He kisses at my neck as I pull at his shirt. I yank it over his head and then he’s against me again, kissing me hard.

Harlin’s hand slides beneath my heavy sweater as I work on undoing his belt. When he pushes my bra strap off my shoulder, I freeze.

What was I thinking? I’m missing a huge patch of skin and if Harlin sees—oh, God.

I push his hand away and shake my head. “I can’t,” I say, trying to catch my breath.

“What?” He doesn’t seem to understand and comes back toward my mouth, kissing me.

“Stop,” I say softly.

He does. Harlin’s eyes are glassy with desire as he moves back, his belt nearly undone and his shirt off. “Charlotte,” he says, his voice raspy, “if you’re not in the mood, I understand. But if . . . things have changed.” He pulls his eyebrows together as he considers his words.

Harlin is never one to be insecure, but the last few months, I’ve been gone a lot. I knew he’d start wondering sooner or later. This was what I was afraid of.

“My feelings haven’t changed. It’s nothing like that.” I put my hands on his chest and then hug myself to him. “I . . . I . . .” I’m a freak? I’m not sure I’m human anymore? What can I say? “I have to go somewhere right now. Can we talk about this later?”

I glance up to see him looking past me, at the door. “Sure,” he says with a nod. “Whenever you can pencil me in.” His jaw’s tight and the expression on his face is cold. But I can’t explain to him about my shoulder. I don’t even know what it is.