A Need So Beautiful (A Need So Beautiful #1)(18)

“I don’t want to save anybody,” I say. “You’re wrong. It’s not true.” And suddenly I just want him to leave. To leave me alone so that I can lie down, rest my body. Everything hurts, but it only reminds me of how much I want to keep my skin. Forget the light. I won’t go.

I stand up, flinching as I put pressure on my thighs. “Good night,” I say to Monroe, and walk toward the apartment door. I open it but don’t turn around. I don’t want to see that adoring look he has for the gold on my shoulder. When I don’t hear him move I say good night again, only louder. He gets up.

Monroe Swift—doctor extraordinaire—pauses in front of me, his blond eyebrows pulled together in concern. I used to think he could save the world. I used to think he cared for me.

“Soon you’ll understand,” he says.

I glare at him, angry. Scared. He nods and starts out the door. “Monroe?” I call. He stops and glances over his shoulder. “Why are they called the Forgotten?”

His eyes weaken, like he might cry. But instead, he clears his throat. “You’ll know soon enough, sweetheart.” He looks at the ground and then to me. “Let’s keep this between us, shall we?” he asks.

“Like anyone would believe me.” I touch the stitches, mostly to check that they’re still there. That this is still happening.

I close my eyes, listening to the sound of his shoes slapping on the tiles. And when it’s quiet, I close the door and lean against it.

Even though I’m mad that Monroe has been keeping secrets from me, I want to believe that he won’t let anything happen to me. No matter what he says now, he won’t just let me die. I’ve known him since I was a kid. He’s friends with Mercy. He’s friends with me.

And he’s the only person who can help me.

Feeling unsteady, I stumble across the room to the couch. Even if Monroe is wrong about my skin, it doesn’t explain the Need. It doesn’t explain why I’m consumed with helping people I don’t know.

I yawn, feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. I’ll get more answers, but not tonight. I glance at the clock on the wall and see that it’s after midnight. I close my eyes, hoping that in the morning things will go back to normal . . . or as normal as they were yesterday. Which, admittedly, isn’t all that normal.

Chapter 7

I ’m startled awake by the sound of keys jingling in the apartment door. As it slowly opens I sit up, the dried tears on my cheeks leaving my skin feeling stiff. Georgia walks in, but pauses. She looks at me and then around the apartment.

“Mercy still at work?”

I nod.

“Cool.” She shuts the door behind her and turns the deadbolt before shrugging off her gray coat. “What are you doing up?” she asks, tossing her jacket over a chair. She drops down across from me and bunches her short dark hair into a ponytail on top of her head with an elastic band she’s been wearing around her wrist.

“I had a rough night,” I say.

“Boyfriends suck.” She sighs. “Especially the cute ones.”

We’ve never talked about Harlin, really, but she did mention once that he was sexy as hell. It made Alex and me giggle at the time. Weird that I never asked if she had a boyfriend. “Are you seeing someone?”

She tsks. “I got a guy waiting on me back home. I don’t have time for the fools around here.” She pauses. “No offense.”

“None taken.”

“So what did your man do? He find another girl?”

I shake my head. “I was actually hit by a car tonight.”

Her dark eyes widen. “You okay?”

“Few stitches, but I’m fine.”

She seems to think this over, then nods and rests her head back into the chair and closes her eyes. “You’re crazy, girl.”

After six months I feel like this is the most heartfelt conversation Georgia and I have ever had. We don’t fight; barely even talk, really. It’s just that I’m always wrapped up in Harlin or the Need, and she’s . . . doing what she does.

When Georgia first came here, Alex was totally jealous. He’s been with Mercy since he was a baby, and he takes every opportunity to still act like one. So when Mercy gave Georgia driving lessons before him, Alex went berserk. And Georgia, being sort of a badass, told him off. Now they make a sport of it.

All I know is that Georgia’s mom will be out of prison soon, and when she is, Georgia will move back with her. Maybe that’s why I haven’t tried to get to know her.

I feel suddenly guilty, especially after what Monroe told me. I’m supposed to be some sort of angel, and yet I’ve ignored my foster sister for months.

I stare at Georgia, wondering what it’s like to have a mother you could remember, and then lose her. Wondering if she thinks about her mom all day as she waits for her. Georgia’s dark skin is dotted with old acne marks and her multi-ringed fingers start to brush back her hair. When she turns her head, I see it. Her scar.

It’s pink and jagged and it runs from behind her ear all the way down to her jaw. I’d noticed it the first day she showed up here, but no one’s ever asked her about it. I think we all just assumed it had to do with why she was in foster care to begin with. I’m struck by the fact that I don’t know. That I live with her and know nothing about her.