A Good Yarn (Blossom Street #2)(90)

Bethanne experienced a familiar sadness over the loss of her marriage. Grant had changed, but she didn’t know when those changes had taken place, hadn’t even recognized what was happening. The man he was now wasn’t the man she’d married or the husband who’d stayed with her in the labor room and walked the floors when the children were sick. Perhaps she’d contributed to whatever went wrong. That wasn’t something she’d been willing to acknowledge before. Caught up in her own small world, involved with their children, perhaps Bethanne hadn’t paid enough attention to her marriage. Eventually she and Grant had become strangers to each other.

Glancing over at Paul, she discovered he was studying her instead of watching the screen. “You okay?” he whispered.

She nodded, but could tell he didn’t believe her. They went for coffee following the movie—which did end happily. At least the hero had survived.

They sat across from each other in a booth at Denny’s, and the waitress smiled admiringly at Paul as she brought their coffee. There was a lot to admire, to find attractive about him. The waitress’s smile clarified what Bethanne had been feeling lately.

“You seem to be deep in thought,” he said.

“Well, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”

“About what?” Paul asked absently as he reached for a sugar packet. He looked up as he stirred it into his coffee.

She shrugged and experienced a brief surge of sadness. “You’re not dating anyone, are you?”

“You mean besides you?”

“Yes,” she said. “No. I mean, we’re not dating. We’re seeing each other as friends.”

“Why the frown? I thought that’s what you wanted.”

“We’ve got a problem, Paul.” She decided to be direct. “We’ve come to rely on each other. I consider you safe and I’m fairly sure you feel the same way about me.”

He seemed about to argue with her, but had the good sense to wait.

“If we don’t do something soon, there’s a danger of us becoming so emotionally dependent, we’ll pass up other opportunities, with other people.” Although she made it sound like a possibility, Bethanne feared it was already a reality, especially for him. “I don’t want that to happen.”

“I don’t, either,” he agreed, but with reluctance.

“It’s time we went out into the dating world without training wheels.” Bethanne tried to make a joke of it. She wished she’d thought this through more carefully.

The waitress refilled their coffee and Paul reached for his, sipping it pensively. “Is there someone you want to get involved with?”

“No, but this isn’t about me.”

“Then what is it about? I don’t understand, Bethanne. I hoped—I hoped we could become more than friends, damn it,” he said, sounding frustrated. “I was afraid of this. You’re worried about the age difference, aren’t you?”

“No—okay, a little, but that’s not the point. Much as I care about you, I don’t think our relationship is emotionally healthy.”

“What’s wrong with it?”

She didn’t want to repeat everything she’d already said. “Let’s stop relying on each other for a while. I’m not doing you any favors. You should be seeing other women, finding someone who can be everything to you.”

“I’ll be the judge of that,” he argued. “You’re the one person who understood how I felt when Tiffany left me. We’re the injured parties, and it’s only natural that we’d have a lot in common. Now you’re saying we should walk away from all that.”

“I’m not explaining myself well.”

“Yes, you are. I’m getting the message loud and clear. You want us to stop seeing each other but I don’t understand why, especially now. It’s…it’s like before.”

“I’m not Tiffany!”

“Then why do I have this knot in my gut? Why do I feel the same things I did when she told me she was in love with another man? This is just another rejection.”

“No, it’s not.” She’d done a terrible job of conveying her feelings. “I want us to stay friends. I also want you to get out there and date someone else.”

“Why?” he demanded. “I like you.”

“I like you, too. But I think we should stop seeing each other for a while.”

She smiled and reached across the table to squeeze his hand. “You’re a wonderful man, Paul, and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. But it’s time for us to let go a little. To explore relationships with other people.”

“This isn’t a rejection?” he asked sardonically. “It sure as hell sounds like one.”

“Being more independent doesn’t mean we can’t talk or give each other emotional support. I want us to have a healthy relationship. I want us to be real friends.” Bethanne glanced around the Denny’s, afraid their conversation was entertainment for half the restaurant. She leaned toward him. “I want you to date a wonderful woman who’s crazy about you.”

“I thought that was you.”

Bethanne sighed. “You don’t know how easy it would be to fall in love with you. I’m halfway there already.”