A Good Yarn (Blossom Street #2)(51)

CHAPTER 20

COURTNEY PULANSKI

Courtney felt wretched. An enraged Annie Hamlin sat in the middle of Courtney’s bed. She’d ranted for a good five minutes without taking a breath, still angry almost two weeks after the rave and everything that had happened.

“You had no right to contact Andrew,” Annie finished, whispering fiercely, apparently afraid of being overheard.

Courtney didn’t bother to tell her not to worry, that her grandmother was half-deaf. “I didn’t do it because I wanted to, you know.”

“Andrew says I should thank you, but you can forget that.” She glared at Courtney as if she’d purposely set out to ruin Annie’s life.

“Fine. I’ll forget it.”

“I should’ve known you’d be a goody-goody type.”

“Think what you like, Annie,” she said, unwilling to let the other girl attack her. “But maybe it wouldn’t do you any harm to hear what I have to say.”

“About what?”

Courtney sidestepped the question and got directly to the point. “I know what you’re feeling.”

She shook her head. “No, you don’t. You can’t know.”

“My mother died and—”

Annie’s gaze narrowed. “Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?”

“No. Now shut up and listen! Your father walked out on you and what you feel isn’t that different from what I felt when my mom was killed.”

“I wish my dad was dead.”

Courtney grabbed the other girl’s shoulders and her fingers dug into Annie’s arms. “No, you don’t! You’re angry and the pain is ripping you up inside, but you don’t wish that. You can’t. My mother is dead and I’d give anything to have her back. Dead is forever, you understand? You haven’t got any idea what it’s like to have your mother alive and laughing one day, and then on some slab in a morgue the next. You can’t possibly know what that’s like.” Tears clouded her eyes. “It’s been four years, and I think about her every single day. Some days it’s every single minute. My mom didn’t want to die, you know. She was meeting a friend for lunch and a truck blew a tire and swerved onto the other side of the road.” She rarely talked about the accident, rarely mentioned it to anyone, but Courtney felt it was vital that Annie understand what she was saying. Courtney had argued with her mother, too. She’d been furious with her a dozen or more times in that last year, but—as she’d just told Annie—she’d give anything she had now, or ever would, to have her mother back.

“Don’t tell me what I feel,” Annie shouted, twisting free of her grip.

Courtney no longer cared if Grams was listening to the conversation. She tried another way to reach Annie. “I used to pretend my mom was still alive.”

“This is supposed to make me feel better?”

“No, it’s a reality check.”

“I can’t deal with any more reality than I already am. I just want my life back the way it used to be, with my mom and dad and—” She bit her lower lip and her eyes filled with tears. “I’ve got to go.” In a flash Annie was off the bed. She grabbed her purse. “Just don’t do me any more favors, all right?”

“Whatever,” Courtney muttered. She felt like a failure. It was a risk to contact Andrew that night, and Annie didn’t seem to appreciate how difficult the decision had been. Her only reaction was embarrassment, and that had turned to anger at Courtney. If it hadn’t been for her, Andrew would never have known she was at the rave. On the other hand, Annie could’ve been in serious trouble. Kids had died from ecstasy; Courtney had heard of cases in Chicago.

“Courtney,” Grams shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

“Yes,” she shouted back, lazily unfolding her legs and moving off the bed.

“Is everything all right up there? Your friend left in a mighty big rush.”

“Everything’s fine,” Courtney assured her.

“It’s good that you have a friend,” Grams said smiling up at her. “I’m heading out to the Missionary Society Meeting. Do you want to tag along?”

“Would it be okay if I took my bike out instead?” She really didn’t enjoy sorting and packing clothes to ship to China. Perhaps in a few years chatting with Grams’s friends would be stimulating, but currently Courtney found it uninspiring. All they talked about were their aches and pains.

“Where are you going?” Grams asked.

After three years during which her father had given her practically free rein, being accountable to her grandmother was a drag. “I thought I’d stop off at the yarn store and deliver those patches you knit.” That was a destination and a purpose Grams would approve of.

“Oh, sure, that’d be fine. Say hello to Lydia for me.”

“Will do.”

Grabbing her helmet and gloves, Courtney bounded down the stairs. The frustration she felt was nearly overwhelming. She’d tried to do the right thing for Annie and those insults were all the thanks she got. Biking might give her a chance to vent her annoyance.

It didn’t help that Courtney saw she’d gained a pound when she stepped on the scale that morning. After a solid week of denial, she should’ve lost at least that much and instead she’d gained.