A Gate of Night (A Shade of Vampire #6)(58)

“Were you always like this? I mean, even before you became the Elder’s spawn?”

Kiev seemed bothered by the question. “I’m not going to dance. You shouldn’t be dancing either. You’re going to give birth anytime.”

“Way to dampen the mood, vampire.” I rolled my eyes. I walked away from him and toward the large grilled windows in my bedroom. I leaned against one of the windows and drew the curtains back. I found myself staring at the dark night sky. “I need sunlight. There’s barely any light in this place.” There’s barely any light in you. I’m not even sure if you have any!

“We give you plenty of vitamins to make up for the lack of it.”

“I need my husband.” I bit my lip. I was gearing myself up for a rough hand gripping a fistful of my hair or perhaps even a slap in the face, but this time, Kiev didn’t seem angry at all.

It was beyond me why he seemed fine with me mentioning my need for Derek when all the other times I talked about my husband, it drove him to a frenzy. He was perhaps in another one of those mood swings of his and that particular moment, he was more considerate than freakish. He almost looked sorry for me, as if he sympathized with my plight.

“I see it, you know.”

“See what?”

“How you brought light into his life… how you were able to do the impossible and influence the notorious Derek Novak for good.”

His kindness was more unnerving than his acts of terror and I tried to keep the tremble from my voice when I coyly asked, “Oh yeah? How?”

“You are light itself.”

“Right,” I scoffed. “I don’t seem to be lighting you up, do I?”

“Maybe I’m too soaked in darkness to ever be consumed by light.”

I shook my head. Truth be told, I doubted I had any light left in me. Nights still terrorized me. Considering all the dark thoughts I’d entertained lately, I was always fearful that the Elder would come to me.

Just talking about Derek felt like healing to my longing soul.

“Derek had the light inside of him all along. I never told him before, but he brought light into my life just as much as he says I brought light to his. He just needed convincing that he still had good in him. You are who you choose to be. No matter how much light is shed upon you, if you still choose to remain in darkness, that’s your doing, not anyone else’s.”

I felt like a hypocrite saying the words. I needed to follow my own advice, but I justified my situation. Who can blame me? No light has been shed upon me at all since I was last with Derek. I missed him so much, the pain was almost unbearable. I don’t deserve this.

Kiev rose to his feet and stood behind me. His hand brushed through my hair. His touch gave me goose bumps, sending shivers down my spine. He wrapped his arms around me and began stroking my belly, I could feel him press his face against the back of my neck, breathing my scent in.

I hated when he touched me. He didn’t have the right to. It should be Derek with me right now, holding me.

“I hate that I ever got to know you, Sofia.”

The feeling’s mutual.

“I hate that you gave me something I never should’ve had.”

That he would think that I’d freely given him anything sickened me. “And what’s that, Kiev? What did I give you exactly?”

“Hope.”

That was when I realized for certain how embittered I was by the months I’d spent at The Blood Keep. I felt nothing for Kiev. Instead, I hated him. I hated him for taking me away from Derek. The Blood Keep had changed me and inside, there existed a darkness I’d never known I could possess.

“You are light, Sofia, and I rue the day when that will be ruined. I’m sorry for what you’re about to go through.”

My heart stopped. He was a man of riddles. When he was speaking good, it still felt like the words were laced with an underlying wickedness. I never quite knew what to expect with him and that was both thrilling and fearsome to me. “What are you talking about, Kiev?”

He shook his head as he clung to me tightly, pushing my back against his chest. “I can’t tell you, Sofia, but when it happens, know that there’s nothing I could do to stop it.”

A mixture of indignation, desperation and anger came over me as I broke away from his grasp, shaking my head. “No. Hell, no.” I stepped away from him and spun around so he could see how enraged I was. “Nonsense. You have a choice. There is always a choice. If what’s about to happen to me is so awful, you can help stop it. Don’t tell me that you can’t. You want to know how Derek turned to light? He stopped playing the part of a victim and began taking responsibility for his own actions! That’s how. He owned up to his choices instead of cowering away from them.”

Kiev stared back at me coolly. He seemed to be unmoved by my outburst. In fact, he seemed amused. “Interesting,” he noted. “We’re going to escape, Sofia. Soon. Just be ready.” His stare went from my face to my belly and I could swear I saw hunger spark in his eyes.

I shuddered, wondering what on earth he had in mind. I couldn’t figure him out. I felt like a toy whenever I was around him, and it seemed he never tired of playing games with me. Now, however, seeing the way he was staring at my stomach, as if he could see my unborn children, I knew that I would be a fool to trust him.