A Gate of Night (A Shade of Vampire #6)(36)

“Children,” I corrected him. If he isn’t here and he isn’t back home, where is he? I was tempted to think the worst, but I couldn’t allow myself to do that. “Eli, is there a way we can find out where Derek is?”

Eli shook his head. “Not from here, we can’t. Unless you can convince your captors to allow you to have your pregnancy at The Shade. Your father is concerned for you.”

A lump formed in my throat at the mention of Aiden. What I would give to be in his embrace right now… It dawned on me that Kiev had more cards against me than I had initially thought. If he could get Eli at The Blood Keep in a span of mere hours, I had to assume that they had control over The Shade.

“What’s happening at The Shade, Eli?”

I was nowhere near prepared to hear his answer to my question. All the lives lost, all the destruction left behind… by the time he was done, I was in tears.

I thought about the young lives that had been taken—Rosa, Lily and her children. Even Natalie, whom I knew more from Derek’s stories than anything else, left a hole in my heart when I heard about her sorry demise. It took a while before I was able to choke down the tears, but I knew… I sensed it somehow. I changed that morning. More than grief and sorrow, I felt something else… an emotion I wasn’t quite familiar with began to creep in. Hatred.

I wasn’t even sure exactly what it was that I hated, but I knew that its seed had taken root in my core as I began to sob uncontrollably. I was exhausted by the unfairness of it all, and try as I did to deny it, I felt like it was all my fault. Countless what-if’s began to plague my mind as the faces of those who had passed away during the Elder’s attack began to eat away at my teetering grip on my own sanity.

I wondered if Derek knew what had become of The Shade. I tried to comprehend why it was so important that they did not allow the gates to be opened.

“It seems that in our world,” Eli concluded, “if you want to survive, you can’t go about it without sacrificing the lives of other people.”

I couldn’t think of any objection, not when so many lives had indeed been sacrificed for my sake—for the sake of The Shade. I longed so much to have Derek with me at that moment, hear his deep voice remind me of the beauty in this world, but at that moment, the sense of loss kept me from even visualizing him in my mind.

Derek, where are you? We need you. He was alive. I had to believe in that. But at the same time, we had to make our move. We couldn’t just wait for Derek to save the day.

“Eli,” I said breathlessly. “Is there a way we can escape from here?”

Eli tightened his lips, a muscle on his jaw twitching as he gave the question some thought. “I’m sure there is, Sofia. There’s always a way, but I have to ask… if we do succeed in escaping, where do you intend to go? The Shade is also occupied by the Elder.”

I had no ready answer to the question.

Eli swallowed hard whenever he looked at me. It hadn’t registered to me that I was in that bedroom with a vampire until that moment. He must be craving me too. That’s why he’s acting so strange.

“I want my children to experience sunlight, Eli.”

“What are you saying?”

“If we manage to find a way to escape, we’d have to do it in sunlight. It will buy us time from the Elder’s vampires pursuing us.”

The color drained away from Eli’s face. “You’re serious?”

I nodded. “It would mean us escaping to the human world. We’d have to go to the hunters. It’s our only chance.”

“The sunlight will eventually kill me.”

I shook my head. “You won’t die if you drink my blood first.”

“You’re suggesting that I take the cure?”

“I’m not forcing you to do this, Eli. It’s not a command or anything. I know the consequences of turning human. I saw what it did to my husband, how vulnerable it made him, but…”

Eli nodded as he digested the information. “Very well then. Let’s figure out a way of escape. You’ve been here longer than I have. Do you have an plan in mind?”

I shook my head. “I was hoping you could help with that.” I looked out the window overlooking the gardens. “The only places I’m allowed to go to are this bedroom and the gardens. I doubt the servants I get to interact with will ever have the guts to help us escape. You, on the other hand… Maybe you can volunteer to help the servants grow crops. There must be a loophole we can use to our advantage somewhere in that information.”

Eli stood, clasping his hands behind his back. “There’s not much to hold on to, Sofia. No one has ever been able to escape this place.”

“Except for Derek.”

“How do you know that he was able to escape? How are you so certain?”

“Because if he wasn’t able to escape, then he’s most likely dead, and that’s a reality I won’t be able to live with. He’s alive. That means he is somewhere.”

Eli seemed dubious, but he nodded.

I could see the hesitation and the fear in his eyes, and I had to wonder about how selfish I was bringing him here, but I didn’t have much of a choice. Five months was already way too long and I still didn’t have a plan. I was hoping that they would give Eli a little more leeway than they gave me. “Eli, you are the smartest person I know. You were invaluable in building up The Shade. Prove how invaluable you are to the people here and we might just have a way out.”