A Fool's Gold Christmas (Fool's Gold #9.5)(50)

Her mother nodded slowly, as if not surprised. “I’m responsible for that.”

“Mom, I’m willing to put a lot on you, but I don’t think you get the blame for my sucky love life.”

“You were afraid to find someone you could love because you didn’t want to be hurt again. Rejected. I would guess you’re afraid to love someone because you’re convinced he won’t love you back.”

Evie opened her mouth, then closed it. May’s words had a ring of truth. “I have been afraid to give my heart,” she admitted slowly.

May blinked several times, as if fighting tears. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. I picked the guys. Not you.”

“But if I’d been there for you…” May held up her hand. “I’ll stop now. I want us to have a nice dinner. I’ve said what I wanted to say and apologized. You can think about it, and we’ll deal with it again another time. How’s that?”

“I can live with that.”

“Good.”

They talked about the costumes for the performance. Evie had seen a few of them, although not all. They were scattered around town, being altered and redone by an assortment of volunteers.

“I’m looking forward to comparing this year’s dances with what was done in previous years,” she said. “I asked Clay to record the whole thing for me.”

“You know we’re all coming,” May said. “I’ve already bought my tickets.”

“I hope you enjoy it.”

“I will. When you were little, I loved to watch you dance.”

Their server appeared with their entrées. When she’d left, May leaned toward Evie.

“Why did you leave Juilliard? Do you mind telling me? I never understood your decision.”

Evie shrugged. “I wasn’t good enough. After six months, I was called into the office and told I didn’t have the talent. I worked hard, but without the raw ability, I couldn’t achieve their standards. Rather than wait until they forced me to leave, I quit.”

May’s eyes widened. “I can’t believe that. You’re a wonderful dancer.”

“You’re not a professional. Trust me, I’m no Dominique Guérin.” She thought about being only a few weeks from her eighteenth birthday and knowing she was all alone in the world. She’d had nothing but a shattered dream and the blistered and callused feet of a dancer.

“I wish you’d come home,” her mother whispered. “I wish I’d told you I wanted you to come home.”

“Neither of us were ready then, Mom,” Evie said. “We needed time. I needed to grow up.”

“I think I did, too. I missed so much. I’m such a fool.”

“You’re a good person. You just got a little sideways.”

“You’re being generous with me. I don’t deserve it.”

“I think I get to decide that. Not you.”

Evie waited for the anger to reemerge, but there was only lingering sadness and a growing sense of peace. Yes, May had made mistakes. She’d been thoughtless. But she’d also had stresses and responsibilities. Evie realized she could spend the rest of her life hating her mother. But to what end? She would only end up bitter and alone. May had acknowledged what she’d done wrong and tried to make amends. Wasn’t it better to forgive and take what was offered?

“Is that lasagna?”

Evie looked up and saw Clay standing by the table, his gaze on her plate. She sighed.

“Is Charlie working?”

“Uh-huh. Move over, kid.”

She did as he asked, and he slid in next to her.

“Hi, Mom,” he said as he reached for the bread with one hand and her fork with another. “You weren’t going to eat this, were you?”

“Apparently not.”

“Good. I’m starving. So what are you two talking about?”

Evie flagged the server, knowing she would have to order another entrée if she expected to eat. Then she smiled at her mother and said, “Girl stuff. Just girl stuff.”

* * *

“HE DID NOT,” Charlie said as she dumped chocolate chips into a bowl.

“I swear.” Evie made an X on her chest. She’d just told Charlie about Clay showing up at the restaurant and eating her dinner.

“I’m going to have a serious talk with him,” Charlie promised. “He can’t do that.”

“He misses you when you’re working,” Heidi said, stirring butter in a second bowl. Evie wasn’t sure, but thought she might be making peanut-butter cookies.

Annabelle handed two eggs to Heidi. “She’s right. I mean I would have attacked him if he’d tried to take food from me, but he got lonely. Like a little puppy.”

“A puppy who needs some training,” Charlie grumbled.

Evie grinned.

The four of them were in Shane and Annabelle’s new house, making Christmas cookies. Evie had gotten the call the previous evening for a Sunday afternoon bake-fest. Just the four “sisters,” Annabelle had said. While she had a million things she needed to be doing, she’d found herself saying she would be there.

Now cooling racks overflowed with cookies. By the time these last batches were done, the sugar cookies would be room temperature and ready for frosting.