A Fool's Gold Christmas (Fool's Gold #9.5)(29)

“I don’t mind. And sorry, no. Gideon seemed very nice, but there was no chemistry.” She wasn’t about to mention her attraction to Dante. The fewer people who knew about that, the better.

“I’m glad the town came through for you,” Charlie told her. “This place is always special, but even more so at the holidays.” She hesitated. “Now I’m going to say something else I’ll have to apologize for, but I can’t help myself.”

Evie held on to her mug and waited.

“It’s your mom,” Charlie began.

Evie stiffened. “What about her?”

“It’s not my business,” she began.

“You’re right, it’s not.”

Charlie sighed. “And I always hated when people gave me advice about my mother. She and I didn’t get along, either. But last summer she showed up here and wanted us to be close. I won’t go into the reasons, but I will say I resisted. Only she didn’t go away and one day I realized she was the only family I had. That without her, I had no biological connection to another person on this planet. That was kind of sobering.”

“I know you’re trying to help,” Evie said grudgingly.

“I would have bet you every penny I had that my mother would never change,” Charlie told her. “But I was wrong. And if Dominique can do it, May is more than capable. Your mom cares about you.”

“Now,” Evie muttered. “But back when it mattered, she was never there for me.”

Charlie leaned toward her. “That sucks. She was wrong and she needs to understand that. I just have one question. If she’s genuinely sorry and regrets what she did, how is she supposed to make it okay now?”

“I don’t understand.”

“If she feels remorse and asks for your forgiveness, what will make you grant it? She can’t undo the past. So how do you find closure? How do you move on?”

“I don’t know,” Evie admitted. “I don’t think I want to forgive her.”

“So you’ll both always be in pain? That doesn’t sound very pleasant. Are you sure you want to live that way?”

“No, I don’t,” Evie said before she could stop herself. “But why does she get a free pass?”

“Because in any other alternative, you have to pay, too. Aren’t you tired of that?”

Evie nodded slowly. “I want normal,” she admitted. “I want to have a family who cares about me and whom I can care about.” She wanted so much more than she had.

“You either make it work with the family you have or go find a new one. I hate to break it to you, but you’re kind of past the cute kid stage.”

Evie managed a smile. “You think? Because I look adorable in a tutu.”

She knew Charlie was right. May had acknowledged the past, which was a big step. She was also reaching out. But part of her wanted to stomp her foot and insist it was too little, too late.

Dante had pointed out that she had responsibility for the relationship as it existed today. That if she wanted things to be different, she had to make a little effort.

The past couldn’t be fixed, but maybe there was a way for the hole inside of her to be healed. Was being a part of something worth the work it would take?

Just then alarms went off in the station.

“Gotta go,” Charlie said as she jumped to her feet and ran toward the engine bay.

Evie stayed where she was until the ambulance and fire engine had left, then she started for home. Dante was picking her up in a few hours. Until then she was going to try on everything in her closet until she found the perfect thing to wear tonight.

As for the question of what to do with her family—that she would release into the universe. Maybe with a little time, the answer would present itself all on its own.

* * *

IN THE END, comfort and warmth won over fashion. Evie pulled on long underwear, which meant she wasn’t going to fit into her skinniest jeans. She layered a camisole under a sweater, over which she would wear a jacket. As the tree lighting ceremony was going to involve a lot of standing around, cute boots that pinched her toes were out of the question. So much for being dazzling, she thought as she gave in completely and tossed a pair of mittens on the sofa.

She did take the time to use hot rollers, then finger comb her hair into a tangle of curls. She brushed on a second coat of mascara and then applied peppermint-flavored lip gloss in case there was mistletoe. She was ready five minutes before Dante was due to arrive.

Fortunately he was four minutes early. She opened the door and hoped she didn’t look as excited as she felt. Maybe being cool was out of the question, but there was no excuse for acting as eager as a puppy.

“Hi,” he said as he stepped inside. “You look great.”

“Thanks. You, too.”

He had on jeans and boots, a leather jacket and a scarf that made his dark blue eyes even sexier. He smelled of wood smoke and pine, and when he leaned in to kiss her, she felt herself melting.

His mouth claimed hers with a combination of hunger and tenderness. After the first brush of skin-on-skin, he drew back and raised his eyebrows.

“Peppermint?”

She shrugged. “It’s seasonal.”

“I like it.”

He closed the front door, then cupped her cheeks in his large hands and lowered his mouth to hers. This time, instead of kissing her, he lightly licked her bottom lip. Tasting maybe, she thought, as wanting made her weak. She pressed her fingers against the cold leather of his jacket, wishing she could get a lot closer.