A Dawn Most Wicked (Something Strange and Deadly 0.5)(35)

“No,” I ground out. “That’s still here. Probably always will be.”

“Then why would you go?” She stumbled back a step, toward the open window. “I need you now—more than ever, Danny. Please.” Her voice dropped to a murmur. “Please, don’t do this.”

I looked away. There were tears in her eyes, and I couldn’t watch them fall. I stared at the front of the ship. At the jack staff. At the Lang Company flag. “I’m no good for you, Cass. I told you that before, and it’s still the truth. You know it is.”

“And I told you that’s not your decision! I make that choice—”

“Kent Lang wants to court you,” I interrupted, lifting my voice over hers. I had to get this out before she started crying. Before I changed my mind. “He’ll be good for you. He can give you what you need.”

“And you don’t decide that!” she shrieked. Her body tilted toward me like a tree in a hurricane. “You have no idea what I need, Danny Sheridan. Not you, not Father, and certainly not Kent Lang.” Fists clenching, she stomped closer. “You think I care about your past? You think I care about money or position? You know I don’t. Those are just excuses for you to leave. All I care about is what I feel here.” She pounded her chest. “And what I feel here is you. You’re my other half, and I won’t let you go.”

“And that ain’t your choice.” I swallowed. “You can’t keep me here, Cass. You can’t make me stay.”

She balked. Her fists unfurled. Then faster than I could react, her hand lashed out. She slapped me.

White pain exploded on my cheek, and stars flickered before my eyes. Then she was shouting at me, and I forgot all about the pain. All about what I’d come here for.

“So you kiss me like you plan to stay forever and then you leave? I am ashamed I ever let myself believe you cared!” Her lip trembled, and she shrieked louder. “You don’t love me. I should have known better—should have seen you were just playing with me. Well, I learned my lesson, Danny—”

“Don’t.” I shook my head in warning. “Don’t you dare say I don’t love you. Not when you know it ain’t true. I kissed you because of how I felt—how I feel. But if I stay with you, Cassidy, I will be forever hated by your father. I will be forever lookin’ over my shoulder, wondering if my past is gonna bring you down too. I will be forever worried about Ellis not having the money she needs. And . . .” I drew in a ragged breath. “I will forever feel as if I’m holding you back.”

“Holding me back?” she repeated, incredulous. Then she narrowed the space between us. “You don’t hold me back, Danny. You push me forward. On the river—in my life. You’re my engineer, and I’m your pilot. We’re a team.”

And just like that, what remained of my resolve crumbled. We were a team. I couldn’t just walk away. I couldn’t pretend this was an easy decision. I couldn’t pretend I didn’t care.

I did care, and I didn’t want this either.

Then before my brain could switch back on—before my conscience could worm its way into the room—I gripped the sides of her face . . . and I kissed her. I pressed my lips to Cassidy’s with such ferocity and such need, that I lost all sense of the world. All I could think and feel and breathe was Cassidy.

Her teeth cut into my lips. I tasted blood. I didn’t care. Then her hands were behind my head, and we were kissing like we might die tomorrow. Like we were dying right now. And God, I never wanted to leave this moment. I just wanted to fall into Cassidy forever.

But then I tasted salt, and the tang worked its way into my thoughts. I touched Cassidy’s cheeks; they were slick with tears.

“You’re crying.” I drew back. My eyes ran over her shining, flushed face.

She nodded, dazed. “So are you,” she rasped.

I blinked and touched my own cheeks. She was right.

Then Cassidy’s arms slid around my waist and brought me back into the moment. Brought me back to her. “I don’t want this, Danny.”

“Me neither.” I rested my chin on her head. She was holding me so tight that it hurt. But I liked the pain—it kept my mind where it needed to be. “But leaving is the right thing to do, and . . .” I licked my lips. “I’m determined to do the right thing, Cass.”

She tipped her head back, her grip releasing slightly. “I can’t change your mind.” She spoke it as a statement, but there was a questioning in her eyes.

“No,” I said simply.

Her grip released completely. But she didn’t pull away. Not yet.

“Please don’t forget me.” Her voice was small. Barely a whisper. “Please, Danny.”

“Are you serious?” I huffed a laugh. “How could I ever forget you, Miss Cassidy? You are . . . everything. Everything I ever wanted. And you made me more than I ever thought I could be.”

She nodded, as if satisfied by that response. “Will you write?”

It was such an ordinary question—I was grateful for that. “I’ll write,” I answered, “if you promise to write back.” I trailed my fingers down her face and then gripped her chin. “And only if you promise . . .”

“What?”

“Promise to let me know if Lang ever proposes.” I cracked a smile. A sad, painful smile. “Or if you tell him ‘no.’ I’ll come back for you.”