A Castle of Sand (A Shade of Vampire #3)(68)

I practically gawked at her. I had no idea who I was facing at that moment. Gone was the evil, sadistic vampire who made my life a living hell. In her place was this broken young woman looking for love. Does she really expect me to sympathize with her?

“Why are you telling me this?”

She began pacing the room as she scratched her head. “I don’t know…because you’re here. I promised Lucas I would help him, and in return he arranged for me to have you. I thought perhaps you could get rid of this longing I have for Yuri, but when they brought you here…just when I was about to feed on you, all I could think about was what Yuri would think of me if I once again tormented you for things you did not do.”

“Just let me go, Claudia. I can’t stand the sight of you. I can’t stand being in the same room with you. When I look at you, I really just want to kill you.” I was probably crazy for saying those words out loud, because they could only get me into more trouble. Still, the truth remained. I didn’t care about this soft side of Claudia any more than I cared for her wicked villainess act. I just wanted to get as far away from her as I could.

I was expecting her to slap me in the face and put me in my place, remind me that she was my mistress and I was her slave, but she just stopped pacing and looked at me with a bitter smile.

What on earth is going on in her mind? Is this for real? Is this Claudia having a heart for once?

I searched myself for some sort of compassion, any form of empathy for her, and I found none. I still wanted to see her pay. I wanted to kill her myself. Fury was still burning in my veins over what she did to me, over how she ruined the life that I knew. However, deep inside me, I knew that I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t be able to kill her if I had the chance. My time with the hunters had completely eradicated my thirst for vengeance, because I knew without a doubt in my mind that no matter how tempting the notion of killing Claudia was, seeing the life drain out of her would not satisfy me.

Sofia knew the way all along. No matter what she’d been through, she was never a captive. She’d always been free to love and trust and accept others. She never built walls around herself to protect her from what others could put her through. She remained ready to forgive and to embrace the things that actually mattered in life.

At that moment, it felt like I understood Sofia completely for the first time. It was the fulfillment of Vivienne’s prophecy about me.

“What do you want from me, Claudia?”

She sank over the edge of the bed and buried her face in her palms. She was the abject picture of dejection and I had no idea how to handle it. “I don’t know what I want. I still want to taste you. That much is true, but I want Yuri…I want Yuri more than anything.”

I didn’t even know who Yuri was. “Then why the hell are you here at The Oasis when whoever this guy you’re pining for is way back at The Shade, where your home is.”

“I can’t get back to The Shade, not after I betrayed Derek, not after I brought Sofia here.”

“Derek might not be able to forgive you, but I know Sofia will.” I couldn’t believe the words coming out of my mouth.

She scoffed in response. “Sofia hates me. After what I did to you…after what I wanted to do to Gavin…”

I shook my head. “You don’t know Sofia. If you’re actually sincere in what you’re saying, I’m sure she’ll find it in her heart to forgive you.” I scoffed. “Assuming that you’re sincere, of course…I still think you’re playing mind games with me.”

“Maybe I am…” she said softly.

“Are you?”

She shook her head. After a rather awkward silence, she then spoke up, “I want to go back to The Shade.”

“I don’t.” I grimaced. “I don’t get it...just go back. Who the hell will care?”

“You don’t understand. If I go back, I don’t think Yuri will ever be able to forgive me. He is fiercely loyal to Derek. Unless I get back in Derek’s and Sofia’s good graces, he would never take me back.”

I stared at her. I was still wondering who Yuri was and why he was so important to Claudia. I had a vague recollection of a guy paying her a visit once in a while. She never let him in her home. It was as if she was afraid that he would see what she was doing. She always was in a better mood than usual after spending time with him. Maybe that’s Yuri.

“Will you help me get back there?”

“How on earth am I supposed to do that?”

“I know Derek will come here. He loves Sofia enough to come here alone. He won’t stand a chance against the Maslens. Not on their turf. I’m going to help you out of here, but you have to call the hunters. I’d call the vampires and help them get in unnoticed, but they’re too far away and they don’t have the means to get here quicker than the hunters will. If I help Derek and Sofia get out of here alive, knowing that I helped you and that you got the hunters to destroy the Maslens, then Yuri might be willing to give me a second chance…if they die, I’ve lost him. Perhaps forever.”

I stared at Claudia unbelievingly. I was still waiting for a catch, some cruel twisted thing she had in mind in an exchange for what she was proposing. I narrowed my eyes at her. “If the hunters come, I might not be able to stop them from killing you. I’m not even sure I would want to stop them.”