A Blaze of Sun (A Shade of Vampire #5)(73)

No matter how much my mind fought against my enjoyment of drinking from her, my nature made it impossible. I drank from her and I drank deep. Guilt took over me and I wondered why. It’s not like I haven’t done it so many times before. Something about that morning was different. I hated every moment of it, but I couldn’t stop until I was satiated. Somehow, my system knew what I was about to put myself through and it was begging for her light inside me, but as I drank, it felt as if darkness was taking hold.

Once I was done, her blood dripping from the corners of my lips, I pulled away from her. My gut clenched when I noticed how pale she looked. She looked my way and smiled. I felt then such overwhelming love for her and undeniable hatred for myself all at the same time.

“I don’t deserve you, Sofia…”

She shook her head adamantly. “You do, Derek, but even if you don’t, it doesn’t matter, because I’m yours.” She spun around and faced me and it felt as if I was completely bare before her – like she could see right through me into my very soul. “Don’t you dare feel guilty, Derek. Not now. Everything you are – even in all of your weaknesses – made everything I am right now possible.”

I frowned, but then with a flicker of insight, I got it. “You’re strong where I am weak.”

She nodded. “We’re both far from perfect, but we’re complements. That’s why we belong together, so right now, I need you to be strong for me. I need you to survive this cure, because I cannot go through this life without you.”

Her words were still swirling in my mind as we made our way to the Pit. A group of people were already waiting there when we arrived – just as had been discussed. The atmosphere was solemn, everyone was silent. Even Aiden couldn’t look me in the eye. Instead, he gave me one quick nod. Sofia then took her place beside Aiden, holding his hand.

It felt like I was about to walk right into my death.

Vivienne approached and opened her mouth to say something, but it seemed she didn’t know what to say, so she just hugged me. It was then that she whispered into my ear, “True sanctuary. You have her blood in you?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

“Are you sure you want to do this?”

I didn’t answer immediately, thinking it through. An image of me walking along the shores of a white sandy beach with Sofia flashed through my mind. A sudden pang of longing hit me. I needed to turn back into a human. It was the only way I could completely get rid of the darkness within me. I needed to step into the light. “More than anything, yes. I want to do this. I want to become human.” I want to become the husband Sofia deserves.

Vivienne nodded. I knew that she understood. Of all the people there, it was my twin who saw firsthand how much I had struggled against being a vampire, how much I wanted to be freed from the curse our own father subjected us to.

We pulled away from each other. I looked into Vivienne’s blue violet eyes, hoping that she would have a prophecy, a vision… anything to let me know that all would be alright. Nothing. Instead, she squeezed my hand and nodded, before stepping aside to make way for Sofia to throw her arms around me and kiss me.

“Don’t you dare make a widow out of me, Novak,” she whispered into my ear.

A lump formed in my throat and I couldn’t respond to her. Holding her at that time, I actually felt like backing out of the whole thing, but also knew that wasn’t an option. It was too late to back down now. I pulled away from her and kissed her forehead.

“I’m gonna be right here the whole time,” she promised. “I’ll be here when you get out.”

I made my way into the Pit and the doors slammed closed behind me. It didn’t take long before the first rays of the morning sun began to show. And the moment they hit me, I was blinded by the most excruciating pain I had ever encountered.

Chapter 45: Sofia

Only Aiden, Vivienne and I remained to wait for when the first signs of sunlight would arrive. It felt like my heart was being torn from me when I heard Derek scream, a sign that his torment had already begun.

“How long is this going to take?” I asked Vivienne.

“We won’t be able to check on him until the sun sets,” she replied.

Another scream of pain came from inside.

“I want to go in,” I announced, as I moved to open the latch that was keeping the door locked and secure.

“No!” several voices said with alarm.

Aiden and Vivienne were by my side immediately, with my father giving me a stern look and Vivienne giving me a concerned one.

“You’re not going in there.” Aiden shook his head. He then gave Vivienne a look. “Maybe we should get her out of here.”

I could barely make out what he was saying. His voice was being drowned out by Derek’s screams pounding through my mind. What if there’s no cure? What if we got something wrong? “No. I promised Derek I’d stay here.”

“Sofia, you’re torturing yourself.” His voice was firm but not void of desperation.

Vivienne gently took a step forward. “We don’t know what he might end up doing to you, Sofia. We don’t know what’s going on in there. It’s enough that Derek’s life is at risk. We’re not going to risk your life too.”

We were thinking of putting in surveillance cameras into the pit in order to observe what was going on. Derek voted against it for reasons I couldn’t understand. The only explanation he gave was a simple, “I don’t want anyone to have to see what I’m going through.”