A Blaze of Sun (A Shade of Vampire #5)(6)

I waited for everyone to leave, patiently standing by as the others had their final words with Derek, before approaching him.

When our eyes met, he gave me a tired smile.

“Exhausted?” I asked him.

“More than I can explain.”

“I miss you…”

His bright blue eyes softened as he brushed his fingers through my hair. I stared up at him, admiring him. The dark hair, the blue eyes, the pale skin and tall, lean, muscled physique… I never quite got used to how attractive he was or how small I felt whenever I was standing next to him.

His large hands engulfed my waist as he pulled me closer to himself. His lips pressed against my forehead. “I’m sorry it has to be this way, Sofia. I hate that we can’t spend as much time together as we did before.”

I wanted to assure him that it was alright, that I understood that he was under a lot of pressure, but at that moment, I felt a possessiveness toward him that I had never felt before. Since when were you so selfish with Derek, Sofia?

I was so sick of all the tension and all the drama. I was so tired of the political and social problems in The Shade. I was eighteen years old. Normal eighteen-year-olds were busy filling out college applications, moving into their dormitories, falling in and out of love ... I, on the other hand, was trying to figure out how to support a monarch in running his kingdom. And he wasn’t just any other monarch either. He was a vampire. Of course, I couldn’t blame anyone but myself for the mess I’d gotten myself entangled in. It’s not like anybody forced you to fall in love with a five-hundred-year-old king in an eighteen-year-old’s body.

“What’s going through your mind, Sofia?” he asked.

“A lot,” I admitted. “I’ve been finding it hard to cope…”

I could sense him tense at my admission.

“It’s unfair, the pressure I’m putting on you with all the responsibilities that shouldn’t be yours in the first place…”

I frowned. “I’m not complaining, Derek. I hope you don’t think that I am. I can still handle it all. I just… I miss laughing with you. I miss seeing you smile. I miss trying to figure out how to teach you to use a phone or how to drive…” I chuckled at the fond memories. “I miss us.”

The sadness on his face broke my heart. “I know… I miss us too…” he admitted.

I was waiting for him to promise that things would change, that we would return to what things were like before, but no. It dawned on me how unsure Derek was about the future. He no longer had the confidence that inspired him to fulfill his prophecy. I saw behind his eyes anxiety and self-doubt.

I grabbed his arm, my brows furrowing, as I studied the expression on his face. Something’s wrong… He looked away, seemingly bothered by my scrutiny. Had I not been so tired, I would’ve pried… I would’ve asked him what was the matter, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to know. I wasn’t sure if I could take it. “We’re both obviously tired.” I nodded my head slowly, smiling at him bitterly. “Maybe it’s best we retire to our quarters and have a good night’s rest.”

“I love you, Sofia.”

His proclamation felt weak, practiced and routine. It didn’t move me the way it used to and that bothered me. I couldn’t bear to look at him even as I nodded my head curtly. “I know. I love you too.”

I felt empty as I returned to The Catacombs, escorted by Ashley and her boyfriend, Sam, who Derek asked to get me home safely. I hated that he didn’t do it himself. There was a time when he would’ve done it no matter how tired he was.

My two companions were both exchanging some lighthearted banter all the way to the caves, but I remained silent, lost in thought.

A deep sense of loneliness and abandonment took over me. I shivered against the cold night breeze and practically tasted the scent of the pine trees. I was so consumed by my emotions and my surroundings, I barely gave Sam and Ashley a cohesive response when they bade me goodbye.

I dragged myself through the routine of getting myself ready for bed. Everything about The Shade had begun to feel exactly like that – routine – and I was finding myself weary of it all. I had just climbed into my bed wearing a silk nightgown when the door creaked open. I lifted my head and drew a breath when I saw Derek standing inside my bedroom, closing the door behind him.

“Derek?” I said, wondering what could’ve brought him to my chambers. Despite my surprise, my heart leapt that he did come. I longed to be in his embrace.

However, when I saw the stare he was giving me, I realized why he’d come. The way his Adam’s apple moved as he gulped at the sight of me made it clear enough exactly what he came for. He’s craving.

I knelt up on the bed and forced a smile as I pulled my long red locks away from my neck in order to give him the go signal he was waiting for. He didn’t hesitate… The moment my neck was exposed to him, he sped toward me and sank his teeth into my skin.

I bit my lip at the pain it caused, but I was already so used to it. As I sat there waiting for my fiancé to have his fill of my blood, I couldn’t help but wonder.

What has become of us?

Chapter 2: Derek

Her laughter was contagious as she held my hand. Her long, auburn hair was bunched up over her head in a bun, strands of it falling down her lovely face. We were at a beach and the sun was shining on both of us, our wet bodies glistening as we took a walk along the shore.