he: A Novel(92)

But he is broke once more. He has so little money that when he marries Ida he cannot afford a ring for the ceremony, and so she reuses the one given to her by Raphael, Concertina Virtuoso. He would like to see England again, but he does not possess the funds to travel unaided.

Babe’s pockets are also empty, but neither does Babe enjoy being idle for long. Work is Babe’s justification for hours spent on the golf course, or betting on the horses, and one cannot place a gentlemanly wager on a round of golf, or back a pony, without pennies in one’s purse.

It’s good money, he tells Babe. We’ll stay in nice places – the girls, too. They’ll pay for all of us to go.

– But will they remember us?

– Ben says we’re still big over there. Maybe not as big as before, but we’ll make more than we would here. And last I heard, Hitler failed to bomb all the golf courses. There’s also this: I want to see home, but I can’t do it without you, and I won’t.

Babe and Lucille like Ida. To travel together as couples for two months is no great imposition.

Then I’m happy to go, says Babe.

But with the arrangements in place, Lucille takes ill, and faces a long convalescence.

The doctors won’t allow her to travel, Babe tells him.

– What will you do?

– I can’t leave her.

Babe would rather be forced from his home by penury than abandon Lucille when she is ailing.

Can you perform without me? Babe asks.

He does not know. He supposes he could go to England alone, but the routine on which they have worked hardest, the Driver’s License sketch, requires two people. Even if a substitute could be found for Babe, he doubts that the payments would remain the same. He will be lucky to receive half of what was promised, and the houses will be commensurately smaller. This worries him. He loves Ben Shipman, but he does not believe that he will be welcomed as rapturously in England as before, either alone or with Babe beside him. He came up through vaudeville: if someone promised an orchard, you planned for an apple. He has learned to manage his expectations.

But he will not allow Babe to suffer financially because of Lucille’s incapacitation. This is not their way. The money, whatever it may amount to in the end, will be paid to their company and divided equally, whether Babe is part of the tour or not.

This is their way.

So Babe informs Lucille of his decision to stay with her, and Lucille, were she not laid horizontal by the problems with her lower spine, would have responded by grabbing Babe by the collar and shaking him. Instead she sets Babe straight on matters pertaining to money, and his career, and their future together.

In February 1947, Babe joins Ida and him on the Queen Elizabeth, bound for England.





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He stands with Babe on the deck of the Queen Elizabeth, Ida sleeping in a cabin below. It is the night before they are due to dock in Southampton, but he may be guilty of altering the timeline for effect, because this is how it would have been in a picture.

They can see no stars, only the lights of another vessel in the distance. He is wearing so many layers of clothing that his head resembles a pin poking from the collar of his coat. Babe’s jacket is open. Babe does not feel the cold in the same way.

He is worried about what they will find the next day. He has seen the photographs, the newsreels: whole streets demolished, cities on fire. He knows of those from his past who have died in bombing raids, and others who have given their children to holes in foreign soil. What place, then, for two aging men come to trade on former glories, their gray hair a reminder of all that has been lost?

It’s not important, says Babe.

– What isn’t?

– How many come, how big the houses are.

– It’s important to Bernard Delfont.

Bernard Delfont is the English impresario who has convinced them to make the journey. He does not wish to be responsible for Bernard Delfont’s impoverishment.

I think it may be more important to you, says Babe.

– I don’t want to come all this way just to be forgotten. I could have stayed back in California if I’d wanted to be forgotten.

He is exaggerating. Their old pictures have begun showing up on television, making more money for Hal Roach, if not for them. But television does not yet seem quite real to him. He was raised on the Audience. He does not wish to watch a picture on a box, alone.

And if the Audience does not come, if the theaters remain empty, then what is he?

He is just a man in a box, although not alone. Babe will be with him.

I’m glad I didn’t stay back in California, says Babe. I miss Lucille, but I never thought we’d have the chance to take another trip like this. I figured we were done. And if someone was prepared to put us on a ship, I believed it would be in steerage, not first class.

– We could have stoked the boilers, paid our way.

– With what we could shovel, we wouldn’t even have made it out of port.

– I’m glad you’re here. I’m happy you’re with me.

Babe pats him on the back.

– I’m going to bed. When morning comes, we’ll be in British waters.

– Don’t dream that you’re awake, and wake up to find yourself asleep.

– Wise words.

Yes, he says, they are.





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