You've Got Fail(70)

Pauly squinted at him. “Hey, I know you.”

“Yeah?” Jason leaned back in his chair, completely at ease in this den of killers and thieves.

Pauly moved around the table and stared down at him. “Holy shit. Holy shiiiiit.”

“What is it boss?” The man with the gun shot him a look.

“This is Commander Reptilian.”

“No shit?” Frank backed up and got a look at Jason’s face.

“No shit, man. It’s you, isn’t it?” Pauly stubbed out his cigar.

“Yeah.” Jason kept his cool.

“Fucking shit. Frankie, get him a drink. What you drinking? I got, I got…give him the top shelf shit.” Pauly pulled up a chair and sat across from Jason—Elias, Daphne, and I seemingly forgotten.

I reached behind me and took her hand. I had no idea how this would play out, but I was willing to wait and see. Especially given Frank’s fondness for his gun.

“I’ve seen all them movies. My crew, I make them watch them with me. My son, Mickey, he loves them too. Last three Halloweens, he dressed up as you. Got your posters in his room. I tried to get him into watching porn. He’s at that age, you know? He’d rather read comics about you.” Pauly ran a hand through his thinning hair. “I can’t believe this. At my table.”

The dealer passed Jason some chips as Frank set a drink down beside him.

“Thanks.” Jason began arranging his chips as Pauly continued to blubber on and on about each movie of the Aliens Versus Vampires franchise. He actually misstated the plot of the third film, confusing the Vampire Empress with the more obscure Tarrar Clan’s Ruler, but I didn’t quibble. Hannah kept glancing at Elias, each time shaking her head almost imperceptibly.

“God.” Pauly sat back and grinned. “At my table. You are at my table.”

Jason lost the hand he was playing. “Yeah, and you just cleaned me out of a grand right then.”

Pauly laughed. “House always wins. You know that.”

“Sure do.” He took a drink of his liquor. “That burns just right.”

“It’s the good stuff. I don’t get it out for these bozos.” He jerked his head at the other guys.

Some of them grumbled but continued playing. Frank returned to our side, his gun still out, but his attention on the Pauly-Jason lovefest.

“Do you want women? I can order some women, easy. Maybe some food? I can get you whatever you want.”

“I’m good for the moment. Thanks, though.”

“My kid is going to lose his mind when I tell him about this. His thirteenth birthday is next month. It’s Commander Reptilian themed. I’ll have to get your autograph for him.” He pulled out his phone. “And a selfie.”

“Sure.” Jason shrugged.

“I’ve got a better idea.” I stepped forward, but Frank slammed a hand on my shoulder and jabbed the pistol into my ribs.

Daphne gasped.

“I’m okay.” I held a hand out. “It’s fine.”

Pauly scowled at me. “What? What’s your idea?”

I held my hands out in front of me and eased over to their table, Frank still gripping my shoulder. “What if Jason—err Commander Reptilian agrees to come to your son’s party? Wouldn’t that be great?”

Pauly scratched his protruding gut and stared at Jason. “Yeah, Mickey would love it. Hell, all the kids and the adults would love it. But would you do that?” His inner fanboy colored his voice with a tinge of hopefulness.

“I don’t know, man.” Jason placed his hands on the table and pushed back until he balanced on the back legs of his chair. “I never do parties like that.”

I edged closer. “But surely you could make an exception?”

Pauly leaned forward, taking the bait. “Could you?”

“Hmmmm.” Jason leaned his head back, appearing to consider it.

“I could pay you well for it. Good money.”

“Come on, Jason. It’s for a little kid’s birthday,” I coaxed. “He’d remember it forever.”

“I know, but he’d be the one kid in the whole world who had the real Commander Reptilian at his party. What if the other kids got jealous?”

“Jealous. Yes.” Pauly clasped his hands together, his eyes rounding with hope. “Please do it for me—I mean, my Mickey. I’d be forever in your debt.”

Jason dropped his chair legs back onto the floor.

“Come on, man.” Elias pitched in. “It’s for the kids.”

“The kids.” Pauly nodded.

Jason sighed. “I-I guess I could make an exception this one time.”

Pauly clapped, his grin wide. “Thank you!”

He held up a finger. “But I’d need something in return.”

“Right.” Pauly shifted his gaze to Hannah and then back to Jason. “I can guess what you want.”

“Yeah.” Jason began playing again, stacking and re-stacking his chips. “We need Hannah, and we need you to let go of the debt. I’ll show up to your place for the party, decked out as Commander Reptilian. Hell, I’ll even fly my makeup artist out from LA to really sell the look.”

My own inner fanboy piped up. “Maybe we can have some standins for ScaleyThorn and Fangia?”