You've Got Fail(49)

He sighed. “Looks like I’ll be getting more practice.”

I raised a brow. “Trouble in she-devil paradise?”

“Yeah, Claudia’s heading back to L.A.” He dropped his napkin on the table.

“I thought she intended to stay this time?”

He shook his head and murdered another fry. “So did I. But she’ll be gone next week. She’s supposed to be in the next Transformers movie. Not acting or anything. Just, you know, looking good.”

“Sorry, man.”

He shrugged it off, but I knew it hurt. Elias and Claudia were never a forever sort of thing, but he did have feelings for her. Ones that she was effectively axing by moving across the country.

“I guess things are tough all over.” I took a bite of my burger.

“I’ll drink to that.” He grabbed his beer bottle, and we clinked longnecks.

We ate in silence for a while, the noisy street and pedestrians filling what little space in our minds that wasn’t occupied.

“So, what have you decided to do about Scarlet?” He wiped his mouth.

I pondered what I’d tell someone who wrote into my blog with this conundrum. Something like, “if she’s interested, she’ll come to you. Don’t crowd her. Give it some time.” Completely prudent advice. I would be wise to take it. Instead, I pushed back from the table and said, “I’m going to her place.”

“Whoa.” He shook his head. “Did you hear the part I said about being a creepy stalker?”

“Yeah.” I tossed some bills on the table. “But I can’t just leave this hanging. Not after our night together. I won’t wait until Saturday when we’re under the spotlight to bring this up.”

“You ever think that maybe, I don’t know, she’s one of those modern women who can dick down with a guy and then brush it off like it wasn’t a big deal?”

“Maybe.” I rose. “But if that were true, she would have responded to my texts.”

“Good point.” He chugged the rest of his beer.

“She’s hiding. That means she felt it, too.”

He snorted. “Felt what, your di—”

“Our connection, perv.” I walked toward the street, my hand in the air for a cab.

“Hold up.” Elias dogged my heels. “I’ll go with you. It’ll keep the creep factor to a minimum.”

“Don’t you have work?”

He waved a hand, swatting the concept away. “Naw, I’m the golden boy with the SquickyLube, especially now that I’ve fixed the Vesuvius glitch you told me about.”

I didn’t particularly want him tagging along on my “confront Scarlet” mission, but I could tell he was determined. There’d be no scraping him off.

“You can come, but play it cool, okay?”

“I’m always cool.” He shrugged off his suit coat and loosened his tie. “Cooler than you.”

“If you say so.”

“It’s true.”

“Seems like you forgot the time you got blitzed at Greg Carroll’s engagement party a few months ago and pissed in the planter right next to the cake.”

A wistful smile crossed his lips. “Yeah, that was a good time.” He scratched his head as we hopped into the cab. “I wonder what happened with him and that ginger chick. I thought they’d be married by now.”

“They were married last month.” I gave the cabbie Scarlet’s address.

He cocked his head to the side. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. I guess they didn’t want to invite the party pisser.”

He laughed, and the driver gave us furtive glances in the rear view. “Okay, other than that one time, I play it cool.”

“Have you forgotten about the time we were at a Yankee’s game, and you were once again blitzed, and decided that instead of a kiss cam, sporting events needed an ass cam?”

“Oh, come on. That was—”

“Indecent exposure. We can never go to the park again.”

He shrugged. “Seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“Sure, sure.” I shook my head. “Try and be on your best behavior. Scarlet lives with her sister, and she seems a little…fragile.”

“She’s the one that’s in trouble with the Pauly guy?”

“Yeah, well they both are, I guess. Scarlet hasn’t been very forthcoming with information.”

“Shocker.” He settled back into the smelly vinyl. “Shitake Shocker.”



I knocked on the faded wood door in the hallway of the rundown apartment building. The walls were covered in paneling straight from the 1970s, and I would have bet some serious money that the tiles beneath my feet were full of asbestos. Scarlet deserved better than this. What could that meathead Pauly possibly have over them that left them living like this?

“Who is it?” A quiet voice barely made it to my ears.

“Hi.” I moved closer. “Hannah, right?”

“Yes.” Her tone was wary. Smart girl.

“It’s Willis, your sister’s friend. And this is my friend Elias.”

“Hi.” He waved at the eye hole.

“Is Scarlet home?”