You're to Blame(9)
“I’ll see you around then?” I yell.
Duke wheels around and nods, dismissing me, much like parents who want their children to be seen and not heard.
Dumbfounded by his abrupt departure, I stare at the place he’d just stood. Our exchange didn’t exactly go how I had expected. He wasn’t going to jump into my arms and demand we make friendship bracelets, but I still hoped we’d leave feeling more like friends than enemies.
Jacob has only shared a handful of things about Duke. The one that now stands out is his tendency to keep to himself. He’ll be social but doesn’t truly let others in. His attitude stems from something about the way he was raised. Because I avoid the fraternity, time spent with Duke and Jacob’s other brothers is minimal.
The only time I’ve ever stepped foot into the fraternity house was Jacob’s freshman year. Oddly enough, it was the first time I had a run in with Duke. The night is sort of a blur, not because I drank too much, but because the results of my visit caused a shift in my relationship with Jacob.
I’d been a junior in high school and Jacob, a college freshman. Statistically, the chance of us working out were slim to none. We were determined to defy the odds.
Despite the cool weather, the area is packed full of girls in skimpy bathing suits. Jacob sits on the edge of the picnic table, a young blonde resting her arm on his shoulder. Her body leans into his, and she throws her head back with a laugh.
A lump the size of a kitchen sink forms at the back of my throat. How comfortable she appears by his side hurts me, even though my mind tries to convince me otherwise.
“Who’s that?” I whisper.
Rachel pulls me by the arm. “Let’s go find out, shall we?”
With zero confidence, I follow Rachel to where my boyfriend sits on his throne of popularity. In high school, Jacob sat at the top as well. His charismatic personality and shiny white smile always attract a crowd. Seeing him like this comes as no surprise. The only difference is at home, I was by his side, and now? Well, now I’m the outsider.
Should I perceive this as a threat?
Jacob’s eyes widen when they land on me. “Char, when did you get here?” He glances at each of the faces beside him, unsure of what to say and what move to make next.
“Just a few minutes ago.” My voice is weak, a feeling I know far too well.
Jacob stands and wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in close. The stench of beer wafts into my nostrils, and I flinch.
“You’ve been drinking a lot,” I state. Rachel gives me a weary glance when I check for her over my shoulder.
“It’s not that big of a deal. It’s a party, after all.” Jacob spins to face his cohorts. They raise their glasses at his words, chugging whatever liquid is in their red cups.
“So, Jacob, you appear to be getting comfortable in the fraternity lifestyle,” Rachel proposes.
Jacob smiles with narrowed eyes on my best friend, and we follow him into the house. The warmth from his hand on mine eases my mind and worries a fraction.
“It’s not too bad,” Jacob finally addresses Rachel. He pulls two cups from the counter and fills them to the brim with amber liquid. “Here, drink up.”
I take the cup, holding it at my side. His disappointment rumbles from deep down in his chest. He turns away, admiring details of the house. His words are rushed, and suddenly, I’m an inconvenience.
“I wish we wouldn’t have come,” I whisper to Rachel an hour later. We stand on the outskirts of the crowd, watching Jacob play his fourth game of beer pong. Apparently, winners stay at the table, and winning is more important to my boyfriend than spending a little time with me.
Rachel’s kind smile shines bright, but as if a switch is flipped, her features darken. I track her line of sight and catch a busty redhead whisper something in Jacob’s ear. His silent laugh shoots a pang of hurt through my heart. Jacob removes her hand from his chest and focuses his eyes to my side of the room. Her eyes narrow on me, and she disappears into the crowd.
Jacob holds up a finger, telling the guys he’s playing he needs a moment. He jogs to my side of the room, and Rachel stands in his path, her arms crossed over her chest in defense.
“Girls hit on me, Char. It doesn’t mean anything.” He shakes his head, an ever-growing smile on his face. “You know there’s only one girl in this world for me.”
Jacob’s lips collide with mine. Typically, I’d cringe, embarrassed by being the center of attention in a room full of strangers, but the moment his tongue swipes mine, I melt against him.
When Jacob breaks the kiss, I lean in to feel his lips against mine for another second. My hand cups the side of his face, holding him in place.
“I’ll be right back, baby.” Jacob winks before slipping back through the crowd to his game.
From that day on, Jacob and I had to work extra hard to stay us. We took steps to ensure we knew the other was top priority. He’d come home to spend the weekend when he got the chance. We’d Skype or even meet half way to get in a short face to face. Although Jacob never complained, it always felt like we could’ve done more to ease those two years.
The memory reminds me how unsteady young love can be. The unbreakable can break, especially under a certain amount of pressure.
“Daydreaming again?” Rachel slides in beside me as I brush my hand along a row of wilting flowers, a sign of the changing seasons.