You're Invited(81)

“Spencer!” Nadia shrieked, running up to him. He produced a single lily from god-knows-where and handed it to her, amidst the awws and oohs from the few guests who had already started to arrive. She wrapped her arms around his knees while he reached down, tickling her as she squealed.

He smiled at me as I walked down the stairs.

“Darling,” he said, kissing me delicately on the cheek.

“Watch the makeup,” I whispered back.

“You look breathtaking, as always.”

I gave him a little smile, and he offered me his arm. We did a small walk through the garden, greeting the guests that were making their way in. Everyone told us how great we looked together, and how happy we must be, and how we would make the most beautiful babies.

I spotted Amaya, sitting at a table with a group of aunties. I hoped she wasn’t running her mouth off about her relationship with Spencer. She said she’d keep quiet, but it’s not exactly like I could trust her, right? Fuck, all this business about Spencer being broke has thrown me for a loop.

I finally couldn’t take it anymore.

“Let’s go out back for a moment,” I said, during a brief pause between making small talk with guests.

“Out back? But, darling, your mother would kill us if we didn’t greet everyone like we promised her.”

His bullshit saint talk didn’t fool me. He was avoiding me. Here we were, about to spend the rest of our lives together, and this son of a bitch was actually trying to avoid me?

“I need a break,” I said, walking away. I knew he’d follow. He was the devoted husband-to-be. He’d never let his bride go unattended.

The two waiters having a smoke in our back garden scampered off quickly when they realized it was us. Otherwise, it was empty, thank goodness. The last thing I needed was for someone to overhear this.

“What’s going on, Kaavi?” I guess the darlings were only reserved for when we had an audience.

“When were you going to tell me?” I went for nonchalance, but he could tell there was an edge to my voice.

Spencer dropped my hand and turned to face me.

It glimmered between us—the fragile, intangible puff of smoke that held us together. The facade, the need, the advantages of tying the knot. One wrong breath, and it would shatter.

But I didn’t want it shattered tonight. Not right now.

“Spencer, I know about your business in San Francisco. I know you’ve filed for bankruptcy. I know you’re broke. All I want to know is why you didn’t tell me.”

I kept my tone light. I wanted to hear what he had to say first.

He took a moment to answer.

At least he had the decency to look ashamed.

“How did you find out about that?”

“One of your checks bounced, so I called in to figure out why.” It was only half the truth, but that was enough for now. He wasn’t the only one who could hold his cards close to his chest.

“Look, I know I should have told you. I’ve been meaning to. I shouldn’t have put it off.”

“Is that why you want to marry me, Spencer? Because you’re broke?”

“No.” His voice was forceful. A touch louder than it should be, and he realized it too. We both looked out at the garden, just to make sure.

“No,” he said, again. “Look, I’ve apologized for this a million times before—the way I asked you to marry me. I mean, I thought it was what you wanted, you know. You were always talking about what a pain it was that your mother was always on your case, and how frustrating Colombo society was, and how a marriage of convenience was all you needed.”

I had said those things, I supposed. I just wasn’t expecting a fucking proposal out of it.

“And look, I should have told you about my company. I know. I mean, I’ve hinted at it a few times, you know, trying to work up the nerve to tell you.”

He had?

“If you did, Spencer, I must have missed it.”

He put his hand under my chin and lifted my face so my eyes met his.

“You don’t think I wanted to? Jesus, Kaavi, all this, it only works because we are friends. You know. We were friends first. That’s what makes it special.”

“Exactly. Which is why I don’t understand why you couldn’t have told me.”

“Because it’s all so much, okay? Your family. This life. How do you think it makes me feel, being welcomed into all of this when everyone thinks I’m some super successful millionaire? It’s so intimidating, Kaavi. Feeling like I’m not good enough to be here. That I’m not good enough for you. That nothing I ever do will be enough.”

I knew what that felt like once. Never feeling like you’re good enough. Sure, everyone thinks I have it together, but the truth is that it’s fucking hard when every single turn you make is examined and judged and gossiped about.

“So, you sold your shares in your two old companies, and are in the process of shutting down a third. Is that all?”

“Yes, I’m sorry.”

“And your personal finances?”

“I have some of what my parents left me, of course. I’m just, well, let’s just say I’m not as magazine-cover wealthy as everyone here seems to think.”

I sighed.

“Why the hell couldn’t you have told me sooner?”