You're Invited(62)

I smiled politely.

“Maybe later? I need to eat something first.”

“Boo, such a loserrr.”

A loser. My chest felt tight. Here I was again, such a loser. I thought about the girl having one too many tequila shots and drunkenly staggering into the ocean. They’d pull her body out tomorrow, gray and bloated. Unrecognizable. She deserved it.

I turned around and left, unsteady in my shoes over the sand. My heels kept sinking in and I should take them off but there was nowhere to sit and I couldn’t breathe and everything was starting to feel like it was all too much.

I had just reached the corridor that led back toward the hotel when I crashed straight into Kaavi. She had her phone out, as usual, and her brow was furrowed.

She smiled when she saw it was me though.

“Ams? You okay? You’re not leaving, are you?”

I nodded. Here was my chance. Come on, Amaya, get it over with.

“No, don’t go. It’s not my mother, right? I swear she’s been on everyone’s case lately. Don’t tell me she snuck down here after I specifically told her not to.”

“No, no. I’m just tired.” Come on, Amaya, don’t wuss out now.

There was no point beating around the bush. I should just throw in the towel and admit it to myself. I’m a loser. A big piece of chickenshit. About as much gumption as a tapeworm. I thought of how I acted around Kaavi, around Spencer, around Mrs. Fonseka, never being able to spell out what was I feeling even when it mattered. All the advice from Dr. Dunn and rehearsed speeches faltered when I actually had to confront someone. That’s why speaking to Kaavi about all of this was so hard. Spreading a rumor, no matter how true, and hoping it would catch on enough to stop the wedding, was a coward’s plan, and I knew it probably wouldn’t work, but you can’t blame this tapeworm for trying, right?

Plan B was a lot simpler. So simple that it was actually a braver person’s plan A. But then, a braver person also wouldn’t check the time whenever they did anything in search of a sign, or be borderline obsessed with her ex–best friend’s family and the life she could never have. So yes, I’m not brave, but I’m trying. I had to tell Kaavi the truth. That was all. I had to tell her everything, well, most of everything that happened between me and Spencer and hope that she believed me enough to walk away. That would really be the most ideal situation, right?

“It’s not even seven o’clock, Ams. Look, I’ll make you a deal, okay? What if you—”

“You can’t marry him, Kaavi. I was with him for four years, okay? You can’t marry him.” The words exploded out of me like a handful of mud being slung against a wall.

I expected Kaavi to be upset. To cry, or demand I leave.

But she just gave me a pitiful smile.

“I knew that’s why you showed up here. You’re still in love with him, aren’t you?”

“You don’t understand.”

“I should have known. Really. Look, you’d cut me out of your life, okay? I’ve tried so many times to reach out to you. I wanted to talk to you about it, of course I did. But come on, Ams, after everything we’ve been through together you just decided to stop speaking to me. And why? Because I tried to help you all those years ago?”

“Help me?” My voice trembled. “You ruined my life!”

“What the hell do you even mean? You’re losing your mind, you know that? You’ve completely lost it. I mean, you just show up here, following me around, completely uninvited—”

“I wasn’t. You invited me, Kaavi.”

“What the hell do you mean? How the hell could I have invited you when we haven’t even spoken in five fucking years?”

“You invited me, Kaavi. You said you wanted me to come. You even lied to me about your parents wanting me here.”

“You’ve lost your goddamned mind. Everyone said it, I just didn’t believe them.”

My vision was getting blurry. I was shaking like a leaf. My breath came in short gasps. Why was she doing this? Why was she lying to me? This is not the way this conversation was supposed to be going at all. I wanted to tell her the truth. I wanted to tell her what happened. I wanted her to be on my side.

“Kaavi!” I grabbed her arm. “You’ll listen to me if you know what’s good for you.”

She yanked her arm away, her eyes wide.

“Are you threatening me, Amaya? I’ll listen to you or what, huh? Or what?”

Her eyes were flashing and her face was red and she had me pushed back against the wall. I could feel her breath on my face, hot and angry. I felt like my knees were about to give way.

“Or what, Amaya? You’ll kill me like you killed Gayan Peiris? Huh? Is that what you’d do?”

“Yes!” My voice ricocheted off the empty corridor. “I’ll fucking kill you before I let you do this. You hear me?”

Kaavi took a step back like I had slapped her.

“Well, there you go.”

I couldn’t stop shivering. This was wrong. Everything had come out wrong.

“Kaavi, I—”

“No need to explain. I guess I finally know how you feel about me. Look, this wedding is happening, regardless of who wants it to happen or not. But do yourself, and me, a favor, will you? Stay the fuck away from me. Stay the fuck away from my family. And stay the fuck away from my wedding.”