You Will Be Mine (Forever and Ever #7)(27)

I headed down the stairs until I was a few floors away. I just needed space, a moment to catch my breath and not break down. Repressing painful memories was my specialty, but when her family showed me love, I couldn’t contain it. It was too much, too kind.

My mother had never been kind to me…

I rested my hands on my knees and tried to remain calm. I shouldn’t have barged out of there like that but I needed a moment. I’d apologize when I returned and make sure they understood how grateful I was. I wanted to shake her father’s hand and thank him for raising Silke. She was a gift.

Footsteps approached behind me but they were too heavy to belong to a woman. I knew it wasn’t Silke coming after me. She understood me well enough to know I needed to be alone. I already made a scene and she knew leaving her family would just draw more attention to it.

Feet appeared beside me then someone sat down.

When I glanced to my left, I recognized her father.

Shit, he followed me.

Now he was going to hate me like everyone else, think I was a rude punk because I ran away—again. Why did I have to fuck this up? That’s all I ever did, reject the things that were best for me because I didn’t think I deserved them.

He took a deep breath and sighed. “The holidays are hard…”

I cocked an eyebrow, not expecting him to say that.

“I used to dread them every year. All it did was remind me of what I didn’t have, what everyone else had, and why I was so unlucky in this life.”

I stared straight ahead, not sure what to say.

“Believe me, I get it.” He turned his face toward me and examined my profile. Then he dropped his gaze.

“You seem pretty happy,” I said quietly. “You have a beautiful family.”

He nodded. “I do have a beautiful family. They’re my whole life. But they weren’t always around…”

Should I ask what that meant?

“You and I aren’t that different, if you can believe it.”

No, I couldn’t.

“I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told my kids. If you want to continue having my respect, you won’t mention anything I say to them.”

I nodded in agreement.

“I have a sister. Her name is Scarlet. She and I had a reasonably nice childhood. But our father passed away when I was twelve. Our mom was our sole guardian.” He cleared his throat. “And she was the devil. Abuse isn’t an accurate word to describe what she did to us. It was borderline torture. She used to burn cigarettes into our skin. To this day, I can’t stand to be around someone who smokes, and it’s not because of the smell.” He rubbed his palms together when he spoke. “I’ve had an ashtray thrown at my head, listened to my sister cry because of all the bruises, and lived in a great depression for a very long time. I’m older than my sister but I stayed in the house until she graduated high school because I honestly feared for her life. Once she started college, I left and started my own life.”

I had a hard time processing what he said. He just seemed like a happy person, someone who’s never known pain like I have.

“It took me many years to finally let go of the pain. Many, many years. My sister struggled with it more, and one day, my mom came after her and tried to kill her.”

My heart stopped beating.

“Everything worked out in the end,” he said quietly. “My sister is fine. And she’s still my best friend. Anyway, I know how you feel right now. Whatever happened to you as a child sticks with you wherever you go. But I promise, one day it will end. One day, the pain will stop. You’ll be able to accept love because you know you deserve it. And you’ll be able to return it.”

I stared at my hands, trying to control my emotions before they slipped out. “How did you know?”

“I can just tell.” He rested his elbows on his knees.

“When did you let it go?” I asked.

“When I met my wife. For the longest time, I didn’t think I deserved her. She was too good for me. Well, that’s still true to this day. But it took her a long time to finally convince me that I was good enough for her. She didn’t care that I inked for a living or that I was abused. She loved me for me. And one day, finally, I let her.” He turned toward me, giving me a gentle look. “And someday, that will happen for you.”

“I think it already has,” I whispered.

He smirked then looked away. “Silke is a wonderful girl. I’m not just saying that because she’s my daughter. She’s exactly how I raised her to be. She’s strong and sassy like her mother, not putting up with anyone’s bullshit, but she’s also compassionate and sympathetic. I wanted her to not judge people by their appearance, but to get to know the person underneath. She’s done that and never stereotypes people. She loves everyone. It doesn’t matter where you come from or what you used to be. And I’m glad she’s bringing you joy.”

“She’s…everything to me.”

“I can tell.”

“You can?” I asked.

He nodded. “All it takes is a look. Those old songs say you can tell if a man loves a woman by their kiss.” He shook his head. “That’s wrong. It’s the way he looks at her. It says it all.”

I cleared my throat. “I was really nervous about coming here today…”