Yellow Wife(14)

Lovie rubbed Missus Delphina’s forehead with a damp cloth and forced her to drink a little wine to dull the pain. I had never seen Missus so helpless, and would have felt sorry for her if not for Mama lying in the loom house equally distraught. Aunt Hope appeared in the doorway with a bowl.

“Brought soup, ma’am.”

But Missus could only stomach a few spoonfuls before she threw it all up.

“Got to get something down in her stomach for streng’t,” Aunt Hope said, and then tried a little more. “Missus, you wantin’ to write Essex a pass to ride out to the doctor’s house and get a word on Massa’s condition?”

Missus Delphina clenched her teeth as pain ripped through her.

“Hand me my stationery.” Sweat dampened her forehead as she scribbled a note that she gave to Aunt Hope.

“Pheby, come get clean water and towels.” Aunt Hope gestured for me to follow her out.

When we reached the bottom of the stairs, I asked, “You see about Mama?”

“She sleepin’ now.”

I handed her the yarrow. “Pack this loosely over her wounds. She getting any better?”

“I’s doin’ what I can.” She looked at me, and her eyes told me what her mouth would not. My head started spinning on what herbs and remedies I could mix up for her, but all the chatter stopped when I opened the kitchen door and saw Essex standing with a bag tossed over his shoulders. He moved toward me and grabbed my face. Even though I had planned his run, I could not believe it was really happening. My lips parted but the words did not follow.

Aunt Hope closed the door firmly behind her. “Time is now with all the commotion.”

“Come on, beautiful. We gotta go.”

My heart sank. “Essex… I cannot leave. Mama is in bad shape and Missus expecting me to deliver her baby.”

Aunt Hope poured hot water in a basin. “Now be best. You have to take what God gives.”

“Please, Pheby.” Essex’s eyes darkened.

It was not supposed to be like this. To have to choose between Essex and Mama.

My lips trembled, and tears clouded my eyes. I pulled Essex to my chest and squeezed my love into him. I tried memorizing everything; the curve of his back, the way his stubble felt when he brushed it across my cheek, the hardness of his muscles, his calloused hands.

“We will meet up in Massachusetts. I will find you.”

He shook his head.

“You must go on. You are the one in danger.” I caressed his hand.

“Gotta hurry ’fore Snitch get wind of Missus in labor.” Aunt Hope gave Essex the pass that Missus Delphina wrote. “Give him the travel satchel,” she said to me.

Under one of the bricks of the stove, I had hidden a small bag for Essex. I removed the piece of paper on top.

“This is a pass to Baltimore. Says you are going to work for Missus’s uncle.”

“You rippin’ out my heart.”

“This is harder on me than you know.”

I kept my face brave as I explained the other items in the bag. “Rub this red onion on the soles of your feet and the horses’ hooves every few hours. Whenever you see pine or spruce, rub it on your hands, face, and clothes. It is how you keep the hounds from picking up your scent.”

A tear welled in the corner of his eye and I kissed it away. “Look for the all-girls school in Massachusetts. Be there sometime ’round the first of the year.” I touched my heart necklace to his lips and gave him my sweetest smile. “Go now. Promise, we will be together soon.”

“You have my heart, Pheby.” He pulled at his necklace and clutched the wooden piece in his hand.

“And you have mine.”

He kissed me hard on the lips for the last time and then walked out the door. I did not follow to watch him ride off. I busied myself with gathering the towels and basin of water, trying to put my concentration anywhere but on my brokenness.

Aunt Hope whispered, “Soon as you can, burn everythin’ with his smell.”

I covered my mouth with my hand, forcing my cry to stay quiet.

She patted my back. “Go on now, Essex needin’ you to be strong ’round the Missus. ’Member, you is the distraction.”

Straightening my back and pursing my lips, I told Aunt Hope that I would take care of it all. As I crossed the grass, I strained for the sound of Essex’s horse, but he was gone. Lovie shouted again from the window.

“Make haste, girl!”

I made my way into the big house holding the basin of water, towels bulging from my arms. When I entered Missus’s chambers, I did my best to keep my emotions from reddening my skin.

“What took you so long? Where do you keep running off to?”

“The towels, ma’am.” I held them out in front of me.

“Does not take that long to get towels.”

I hesitated. “My mama was hurt in the carriage accident too. Her leg is infected. I think she needs to see the doctor.”

Missus tsked her teeth. “Lovie, go tell Hope to give Ruth some soup and blankets.”

“Ma’am, her flesh is open and the wound is festering. Please.” My voice cracked. “She needs the doctor.”

“Your mama work roots, she will figure it out.”

“Never seen an infection this bad before. She might not… This is different than the work she does. It smells like her skin is already decaying.”