Worth the Risk(80)

“I’ll sign the paperwork so you don’t ever have to worry about me coming back for him.” Her voice . . . God, her fucking voice was so devoid of emotion it made me want to scream and give up at the same time. The Hoskins’ brainwashing had finally worked.

“How can you do this? Look at him! Look. At. Him.” She lifted her eyes and took him in, her bottom lip quivering before she stared me dead in the eyes.

“It’s the money, isn’t it?”

“It’s a lot of things, Gray.”

“They finally threatened your trust fund?” Her lack of an answer was the only answer I needed. Fear turned to anger. Anger to rage. Rage to hysteria. “Get the fuck out! Our son—MY SON is worth more than any goddamn bank account.”

The first tear leaked over her eyelashes and slid along the mascara track that was already on her cheek. She had cried for someone else but could barely muster a fucking tear for us. She didn’t bother to brush it away. She just stared at me with regret and a sadness that to this day, I have never been able to fathom. How could money be more important than your own flesh and blood?

“One of these days, Claire, you’re going to look in the mirror and realize you’re a selfish piece of shit. You’re going to want to know my son. Don’t bother knocking on that door because I’d rather die than let you see what an incredible person he’s going to be. I’ll make damn sure of it.”

She didn’t react. Didn’t fucking care.

All I know is that when she turned her back and left without so much as a second glance at her son, I cried more than he did that night. And for more nights than I cared to remember, I fell asleep in a bed she bought, under a comforter she selected, beside a son who had eyes shaped just like hers.

When I look away from where I’d zoned out staring at my coffee, Desi is making faces and Luke is falling backward giggling like a loon, clutching his sides and gasping for breath. I know we’re better off without Claire’s selfishness. I know she would not have stayed trapped in this life of runny noses and little league games. She wouldn’t have given up a single piece of herself to make someone better. I know I would be worrying every single day that she was going to give in to the temptation of her parents and their house high up on the hill above the vineyards.

I know we’re better off for it, but fuck if it still doesn’t sting.

Fuck you, Claire.

“You sure you’re okay?” Desi asks with a soft smile and a pat on my knee.

“Yeah. I’m sure. Thanks for this. With Luke. I needed a minute to figure shit out.”

“Did you get it figured out?”

“Nah. It’s a work in progress.”

“Isn’t everything?”





I don’t know why I hesitate before knocking on the front door. Maybe it’s the ten or so texts I’ve sent Grayson that have gone unanswered.

Maybe it’s my overthinking everything about us since Zoey left yesterday.

Maybe it’s my not wanting to admit I miss him after only six days of being apart.

He’s canceled on me every time we’ve set to meet because Luke has been sick, so I’ve attempted to do something nice and bring them some dinner.

Okay, so I have ulterior motives for doing it. I wanted to talk to him. To see him. To just be with him even if it’s only to drop the food off at the door for five minutes.

Just as I go to knock, the front door opens. The man facing me freezes at the same time I do. The bag of food rattles in my hand.

“Hello there, young lady, what can I do for you?” He’s Grayson in thirty years. That’s my first thought when I see the kind but hardened eyes and the smile that turns up just like his.

“I was coming to see Grayson?”

“You say that like it’s a question.” He laughs, and the rumble of it makes me smile. “I’m Grayson’s dad. Everyone calls me Chief.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Sidney Thorton.” I reach out and shake the hand he offers.

“I knew your dad well before he left town. How is he doing? Well, I hope.”

“Yes. He is.”

“I’m ready, Poppy!” Luke’s voice screeches as he skids to a halt right behind Chief, and then his eyes widen when he sees me. Maybe not as much as mine, though. “Miss Sidney!”

“Wow, you look like you’re feeling better! That’s so good to hear.”

Luke’s little brow furrows as he brushes his hair off his forehead. “What do you mean? I wasn’t sick.” He shakes his head as if I’m being silly, but I catch the confused look on Chief’s face. “Did you come to play Creepers with me?” And before I can even respond, Luke’s arms are around my waist.

My body wars with emotions, and I do my best to hide them. I just don’t understand how my heart can swell for this little boy and feel broken in half by his father at the same time.

“Hey, Luke. I’m sorry, maybe later. I stopped by to talk to your dad about the contest.” It’s a little white lie, but at least it allows me to save face.

“What’s in the bag?” he asks.

Chicken noodle soup. Oyster crackers. Brownies. “Nothing. I just stopped by the store and didn’t want the food to spoil in my car.”

“Cool. Did my dad win?”