Worlds Collide (The Land of Stories #6)(84)

“Hey, Tin! Are you going back to Oz?” Conner asked him.

“Actually, I’ve decided to stay and live with Trollbella,” the Tin Woodman said. “There’s really nothing for me back in Oz now that I have a heart, and a cross-dimensional relationship sounds awfully tedious. Better to stay put where I feel the happiest.”

“Do you hear that, Butterboy?” Trollbella asked him. “That’s the sound of commitment. Take my Butter Tray’s example and the Breemonster won’t slip through your fingers as easily as I did.”

Since Bree was standing right behind him, the Troblin Queen’s comments made Conner blush so hard, he looked like a tomato. He turned around but could barely look Bree in the eye.

“Soooo,” Conner said with a nervous laugh. “That wasn’t the segue I was hoping for, but have you ever considered—”

“Sorry, Conner, I can’t be your girlfriend,” Bree said.

All the color drained from Conner’s face, and he did his best not to look disappointed.

“That’s-totally-fine-no-worries-I’m-super-okay-with-staying-friends,” he said without pausing between words.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” Bree said. “I just know that as soon as I get home I’m going to be grounded for months. But once I’m free, I’d love to be your girlfriend.”

All the blood quickly rushed back into Conner’s face. “You would?” he asked. “Cool, well, I guess I’ll see you back at home, then.”

Bree kissed his cheek, then returned to the Otherworld through the Land of Stories treasury. Conner was so twitterpated, he practically floated across the balcony. He strolled right by his sister and didn’t even notice that she was having a relationship conundrum of her own.

“I can’t believe you’re making me go back to Camelot,” Arthur said. “Even after pulling the sword from the stone and founding the Knights of the Round Table?”

“You still have work to do, Arthur,” Alex said. “You would never expect me to shortcut my legacy for you, so I won’t allow you to shortcut yours for me. After you find the Holy Grail, your legend will be complete, and I’ll have no reason to keep you there.”

“Fine,” the young king said. “I’ll find the stinking Holy Grail—but only if it makes you happy. How long do you expect it’ll take me?”

“Oh, it’ll take you years,” Alex teased. “Maybe even decades. You spend your whole life searching for it in the legend.”

Arthur leaned close to Alex and kissed her passionately on the lips.

“I’ll do it in two months,” he said confidently.

Alex blushed. “I’m counting on it,” she said.

Mother Goose rolled her eyes at both sets of love-struck teenagers.

“This place reeks of more adolescent pheromones than a middle school book club,” she said. “Let’s get back to Camelot before the Capulets and the Montagues show up—I’m late for a Pilates class with the Mists of Avalon.”

The twins and their friends gave Mother Goose and Merlin good-bye hugs.

“Bye, M.G.,” Conner said. “Thanks again for saving us in the—”

“Listen, C-Dawg, I need a favor,” Mother Goose whispered while they were hugging. “Remember my vault in Monte Carlo? Well, I haven’t paid the lease in over a year. They’re going to throw my stuff out on the street if someone doesn’t clean it out. In the back corner, behind Plato’s scrolls, you’ll find a brown paper bag. Keep whatever you want, but flush the bag. Can you do that for me?”

“Um… sure?” he said. “But what’s in the—”

“You’re a good man,” she said, and patted him on the back.

Conner was equally intrigued and disturbed by the request—but that was how Mother Goose left most people she encountered. She, Merlin, and Arthur stepped through the beam of light and returned to the world of Camelot.

The only literary characters who hadn’t returned to their story were the Lost Boys from Neverland. They stared down at the book Peter Pan like it was a deep pool they didn’t want to swim in.

“Tobias, what’s wrong?” Red asked Tootles. “Don’t you want to go home?”

“Miss Red, the Lost Boys and I have something we want to ask you,” Tootles said as he nervously twiddled his thumbs. “We love living in Neverland, but now that Slightly is a baby and all, it’s a lot harder taking care of ourselves. We know you were just pretending to be our mother when you visited, but would you ever consider being our mother for real?”

Red was very touched by their request and placed a hand over her heart. She turned to Froggy with large, pleading eyes.

“What do you think, Charlie?” she asked. “I’m never having children the natural way after watching Goldie give birth to Hero—and Lord only knows what those children would look like. So why don’t we adopt the Lost Boys from Neverland? They’re already housebroken, and they make a delicious coconut daiquiri.”

The thought of being a father brought a huge smile to Froggy’s face.

“Actually, I would love it if the boys came to live with us,” he said.

“Did you hear that, boys?” Red said. “You’re now officially part of the Hood-Charming family!”