Worlds Collide (The Land of Stories #6)(20)
“That’s a perfume store,” Bree said.
Red was amazed such a place existed. “They let commoners wear perfume in this world? Oh, this I’ve got to see!”
The young queen dashed for the perfume store before Bree could grab her. Since they had some time to kill before their flight boarded, Conner thought it was perfectly fine to let his friends explore the Otherworld amenities in the airport. He took Goldilocks to the coffee shop and ordered her a vanilla latte. While Goldilocks enjoyed her latte, Conner took Jack to the sports bar. He did his best to describe the rules of the football and baseball games being broadcast, but Jack was convinced he was making it up as he went along. Bree had the exhausting task of supervising Red as she bounced from shop to shop. It was like watching a hyper toddler in a toy store.
At six-thirty, fifteen minutes before boarding, the gang regrouped at Gate 26 and took seats. Red proudly showed off all the purchases inside her enormous shopping bags.
“I must say, what this world lacks in color, it makes up for in merchandise! I found this exquisite leather bag made from an animal called a faux. I got this delicious bottle of perfume called Febreze. I bought this handy hand mirror with little electric torches around the frame. And lastly, I couldn’t walk away from this colorful pamphlet called Glamorous Magazine. Look, it has an article inside titled ‘How to Steal Your Man Back from His Ex.’ I hope it mentions something about magic mirrors.”
“How did you pay for all this?” Conner asked.
“Pay?” Red said, as if it were a word from another language.
“She didn’t—I did,” Bree said. “She would have gotten arrested for shoplifting if I hadn’t had my emergency credit card on me. It’s maxed out, so the next emergency is on someone else.”
“Don’t worry, I got gifts for all of you,” Red announced. “Conner, I got you this shirt that says ‘I Do My Own Stunts’—classy, right? Jack, I got you this ‘World’s Greatest Grandfather’ hat—sorry, they were out of ‘father.’ I got this adorable stuffed frog in a suit for Hero so he’ll always know what his uncle Charlie looks like. And Goldilocks, I got you this convenient little contraption called a BabyBj?rn—why carry your child when you can wear him?”
“Thanks, Red! That’s so kind of you! Your thoughtfulness always surprises me!”
For whatever reason, Goldilocks was speaking much faster than she usually did, and her left eye started to twitch.
“Good heavens, Goldie. What happened to you?” Red asked.
“It’s called caffeine!” Goldilocks said. “I had a latte! A vanilla latte, to be exact! It’s a brilliant beverage! I was so tired a few moments ago, but now I feel invincible! I could fight a whole army with my bare hands! Actually, I’m going to get some more!”
Jack gently placed a hand on his wife’s shoulder. “Sweetheart, maybe take it easy on the caffeine. People are starting to stare.”
“Attention, all passengers on Flight 219 to John F. Kennedy International Airport, it is now time to board the aircraft,” said a voice over the intercom. “Please line up with your boarding passes readily available.”
Conner, his friends, and all the other passengers formed a line at the gate. They had their tickets scanned, then proceeded down the long Jetway and boarded the plane. Their flight was filled with businesspeople, families on vacation, and a troop of Boy Scouts.
“Follow me and I’ll show you to our seats,” Conner instructed. “We’re in the back because we booked our tickets so late. Bree and I are in seats 38A and 38B, Jack and Goldilocks are behind us in seats 39A and 39B, and Red is in 40A—wait, where’s Red?”
Conner searched the cabin, but Red was nowhere to be found. The corner of her new purse caught his eye, and he saw that she’d seated herself in the first-class cabin. He tried waving to get her attention, but Red was already enjoying a moist towel and reading her copy of Glamorous Magazine.
“Ma’am, is this your seat?” a flight attendant asked her.
“No, but it’ll do just fine,” Red said, and went back to her magazine.
The flight attendant pulled the boarding pass out of Red’s hand and read her seat number.
“I’m sorry, this cabin is reserved for first class only. You need to sit in your assigned seat.”
“Assigned?” Red asked like she had never heard the word before. “Which seat is that?”
The flight attendant pointed to the back of the plane where Red’s friends were.
“I’m supposed to sit back there?” Red said in disbelief. “I thought those were for elves! No human being can feasibly fit in such a small space!”
“Welcome to commercial travel,” the flight attendant said. “Now, either move to your seat or I’ll have you escorted off the plane.”
Red gave the flight attendant an impressively dirty look. As the young queen walked through the economy cabin, she held her nose like she was walking through a field of manure. She squeezed into seat 40A behind Jack and Goldilocks. Luckily, no one was sitting in 40B beside her, because her dress took up both seats.
As the last passengers boarded the aircraft, the constant slamming of the overhead bins started to hurt Hero’s ears. The infant began to cry, and everyone in the cabin glared in Jack and Goldilocks’s direction.