Worlds Collide (The Land of Stories #6)(13)

“WHAT’S GOING ON IN THERE?” yelled a gruff voice.

Froggy peeked through the mirror again and saw a soldier storm into the kitchen, but he was unlike any man Froggy had ever seen. The soldier was seven feet tall and had an unusually flat, square body. The number three was displayed on the upper right and lower left corners of his armor, and three symbols shaped like clovers were set in a line down the middle.

“Forgive me, sir!” the cook pleaded. “I was fetching wine for the emperors and thought I saw something in the mirror!”

The soldier glanced at the mirror, but Froggy ducked out of sight before he could be spotted again.

“Stupid woman,” the soldier said. “Quit this foolishness and get back to work! Any more nonsense and you’ll be thrown in the dungeon!”

“Yes, sir,” the cook said with a bow. “It won’t happen again, sir.”

The cook quickly swept up the mess, placed three new glasses and a new bottle of wine on her tray, and hurried out of the kitchen.

“I don’t understand,” Froggy thought aloud. “Who are these emperors? What happened to Chandler and Snow White? And where are all the servants and guards who used to work here?”

Froggy followed the cook from mirror to mirror as she traveled through the palace. She entered the spacious dining hall, and Froggy appeared in the mirror above a large fireplace. He had been inside the Northern Palace’s dining hall many times before, but he barely recognized it anymore.

All the portraits of the White Dynasty had been removed and replaced with paintings of a red-faced queen, an old hag wearing an eye patch, and a pirate with a hook. The three people pictured in the paintings sat around the table, enjoying a feast that could have fed hundreds. Froggy thought they were unattractive in their portraits, but they were even more hideous in the flesh. The barbaric way they scarfed down their food was equally unpleasant to witness.

“Your wine, my emperors,” the cook said, and bowed to the table.

“IT’S ABOUT TIME!” the queen yelled, and hit the table with a clenched fist. “How dare you keep your emperors waiting! Do it again and you’ll lose your head!”

“My deepest apologies,” the cook said.

The cook trembled in the emperors’ presence and could barely keep her hands still enough to pour wine into their glasses. When she was finished pouring, she bowed and rushed out of the room. The pirate and the queen raised their glasses before taking the first sip, but the hag didn’t join them.

“None for me,” she growled. “I’m not much of a drinker.”

“To us,” the pirate toasted. “May the three great emperors continue their mighty reign as the conquerors of the new world!”

“Hear, hear,” the queen said. “And may our upcoming invasion go as smoothly as the last!”

The pirate and the queen clinked their glasses together and drank the wine in one gulp. The hag wasn’t in the mood to celebrate and angrily threw a half-eaten lamb shank across the room.

“How much longer will we have to wait?” she moaned. “It’s been weeks since we heard from the witch! How cruel of her to tease us with such a conquest, then force us to stay put! Our army is ready—why can’t we invade the new world now?”

“The new world?” Froggy whispered to himself. “What are they talking about?”

“I agree with Westie!” the queen said. “It’s impossible to enjoy the luxuries of this world when we know there are far greater pleasures in the other. What is taking the witch so long to contact us? I’m starting to doubt her competence!”

The pirate chuckled at their annoyance and twirled his moustache with his hook.

“Ladies, your eagerness is sabotaging your judgment,” he said. “Remember what the witch said: As soon as the portal opens, she will lead the other witches into the new world first. Once they’ve weakened the new world’s defenses, and the new world’s defenses have weakened them, she’ll send for us. We’ll charge through the portal and claim the new world for ourselves! It’s a guaranteed victory if we stick to the plan. Patience is a virtue—”

“PATIENCE IS FOR PEASANTS!” the queen yelled. “Instant gratification is the only gratification for the powerful!”

“Allow me to finish my sentence,” the pirate said. “Patience is a virtue we’ll never need again! The final days leading up to the invasion will be the last time we wait or want for anything. As soon as we conquer the new world, we’ll have a whole planet to ourselves and billions of slaves to serve us!”

“I will rule the land!” the queen declared.

“I will rule the skies!” the hag announced.

“I shall rule the seas!” the pirate professed. “And that silly witch is in for a rude awakening if she actually believes we plan on sharing any of it with her!”

The emperors roared with devilish laughter like a pack of evil hyenas. Once the amusement wore off, the queen yawned so wide, a watermelon could have fit inside her massive mouth.

“Universal domination is exhausting,” she said. “We’d better start conserving our energy before the invasion.”

“Oh what sweet dreams await us tonight!” the pirate said with a sinister grin.

The emperors stood up from the table and left the dining hall for bed. Once the room was empty, Froggy started pacing behind the mirror, and a thousand questions raced through his mind.