Without Merit(34)

“Yeah, well, sex doesn’t mean as much to me as it must mean to you guys.”

“What if it meant something to Angela?” Honor asks.

Luck rolls his head and looks at Honor. “Believe me. It didn’t.”

“Says a lot about your performance,” I say with a chuckle.

Luck turns around and hugs the seat, looking at me. “Speaking of sex,” he says, challenging me with his stare. “Have you ever had sex with that guy you have a crush on? What’s his name again?”

I shake my head, silently begging him to shut up, but I can tell I’ve upset him by starting this whole conversation. He very well might bring Sagan into the fold just to get back at me.

“You look embarrassed,” he says, narrowing his eyes. “Are you a virgin, Merit?”

Sadly, I’m probably the only virgin out of this whole group. But I’m not about to discuss that with anyone in this van.

“Are you?” Luck asks again.

“Stop,” Sagan says from the front seat. His voice is shockingly authoritative.

Luck raises an eyebrow and then slowly turns back around. Sagan glances in the rearview mirror and finds me. I have no idea what thoughts are going through his head, but they don’t seem to be in my favor. He holds eye contact for a few seconds and then looks away. I close my eyes and press my forehead against the back of Luck’s seat.

I shouldn’t have come tonight. This is why I never hang out with any of them. It never ends on a good note.





Chapter Seven





There are only twenty-four hours in today, just like every other day, but today seems twice as long.

We got back to the house a little after ten from swimming. Sagan took a shower first and then Honor took one. Utah has a shower in his bedroom, so he and Luck took turns using that one. By the time I got a free shower, there was no hot water left. I couldn’t even wash my hair, but I honestly don’t care. I’ll take a shower when everyone is gone tomorrow.

I pulled the drawing Sagan did this morning out of my dresser and hung it on the wall next to my bed. I decided I wanted to look at it all the time. I’m looking at it right now as I sit on the floor next to the wall that separates mine and Honor’s bedrooms. She and Sagan just started arguing and I want to hear every word of it. However, I only get bits and pieces because Sagan is too quiet in his rebuttals. Honor is the one raising her voice.

“You knew this when we met!” she yells.

He quietly responds with something inaudible and then she says, “You sound like my father.”

He says something else and she completely loses it. “I am not!” she yells. “I knew him before I knew you, so don’t you dare make me feel guilty!”

Oh.

That sounds bad.

A few seconds later, the door to Honor’s bedroom slams shut. Then the door to Sagan’s bedroom slams shut. Then someone knocks on my door.

I jump up because it’s probably Honor and the last thing I want her to see is me sitting on the floor next to the wall, eavesdropping on her conversation.

I open the door, but it isn’t Honor. It’s Luck.

“Oh,” I say. “Hey.”

“Can I come in?”

I open the door wider and he walks in, assessing my room. I close the door while I assess him. He’s wearing a pair of navy blue sweatpants and mismatched socks. He doesn’t have a shirt on, but he’s wearing a scarf.

“Why are you wearing a scarf?”

“It’s cold in my room.”

“Why don’t you put on a shirt?”

“They’re all in the wash.”

He’s so matter-of-fact, like a scarf without a shirt is completely normal. He walks over to my bed and falls down on it, propping his head up with his hand. “Are you mad at me?” he asks.

“Mad at you?” I sit down on the bed and relax against the headboard. “No. Why?”

He rolls onto his back and sees the drawing I hung up. He reaches out and touches it. “I’m not everyone’s cup of tea.”

I laugh. “Yeah, well, you’re in good company.”

He continues tracing the drawing with his finger. “Did Sagan draw this for you?”

“Yeah.” I don’t know why, but there’s a little bit of guilt in my response. Maybe because Sagan shouldn’t be drawing pictures for his girlfriend’s sister. I know it was innocent for him, but my reaction to his gesture was anything but. It just made me like him even more than I did before he gave me the picture.

“I can see why you like him,” Luck says. He rolls back onto his side. “Does he flirt with you?”

“No,” I say immediately. “He likes Honor. I doubt he even notices me.”

“Are you blind? Were you not in the car earlier when he took up for you?”

“He wasn’t taking up for me. He just wanted everyone to stop talking about sex.”

Luck shakes his head. “He got defensive when I asked if you were a virgin. I think your feelings might be mutual.”

Luck has no clue what he’s talking about. He’s been here less than a day. “He wasn’t defending me.”

“Okay,” Luck says. “Do you have a shirt I can borrow?”

“Look in my closet.”