Winter's War (Her Guardians series Book 4)(54)

I just turn and plaster on a fake smile, one I have become perfect at doing. My father has a temper, it’s best to just be nice to him and let him calm down. “Father, I didn’t mean to–” I get out before he cuts me off.

“I killed another man today, a gardener who saw you and was stupid enough to tell his family,” he tells me, and sickness fills my throat. I don’t say anything for a while, I just stare at him. I don’t want to know how he killed him, although he likely used a sword. We are one of the few families who have any swords, as it’s a sign of being well off. Also, no one would ever tell the council about an unusual killing. Everly says they always know it was one of them. They all have weapons like my father does.

“The family?” I ask, my voice betraying my emotions when it cracks.

“Also, dead. No one can know about you, so don’t look at me like that,” my father snaps. I don’t respond as I look at the dated red rug on the floor. It has yellow designs drawn into it, and I trace the yellow circles with my eyes for a long time, the silence in the room deafening.

“The things I have done to keep you alive would haunt you, Cassandra. I only ask that you watch your tongue around me,” he says, and I nod, words leaving me. Everly told me of the people that go missing, I have everyone written down in a book upstairs. The ones I know about, anyway.

The guilt does haunt me, they died because they knew I was alive.

“The King and his family are coming in two weeks. I need for you to behave while I work,” he says, and I nod. I knew they would be coming soon, I keep track of their visits on my calendar upstairs.

“Cassandra, leave me. I wish to be alone,” my father tells me, and I look up at his dark-blue eyes, seeing the emptiness of them. How many men and women can you kill before it destroys you?

I stand and walk out of the office, not looking back at my father. I know he means well, but we are so different. How he sees people and life is different to how I do. Maybe it’s because I’m locked up in here, maybe it’s because I spend all my time watching people from windows. Maybe he is just how men are, being that he is the only one I’ve ever spoken too.

The only one I will ever get to speak to if my life doesn’t change, and I know it never can, it never will.