Winter on the Mersey(41)

‘Come and sit down, love,’ she called, hauling herself to her feet. ‘What can I get you to help you feel better? How about a nice cuppa?’

Violet gulped but tried to smile. ‘No thanks, Mam. It’s too hot, really it is.’

Dolly pondered what else she might have to offer. ‘We’ve got some peppermint cordial somewhere. Or our Frank brought over some ginger beer the other day.’

Violet shook her head then changed her mind. ‘Maybe some ginger beer.’ She managed to drag herself into the main kitchen, leaning on the cupboards for support, and collapsed into the saggy armchair.

Dolly went to the big slate larder shelf, where even in July she could keep foodstuffs cool. In behind the milk and precious ration of butter she found the ginger beer, and brought it through with a glass. ‘There you are, my girl. That’ll set you right.’

Violet sipped it gratefully and Dolly watched her with concern. The young woman was deep in grief, anyone could see that. But she was now wondering if she’d missed something, something that her mother’s instinct would surely have picked up sooner if they hadn’t heard the tragic news about Eddy. She shut her eyes briefly. How stupid she’d been, too mired in all their misery to recognise the signs. A healthy person like Violet, too tired to get out of bed, sick in the mornings, losing weight. Yes, losing Eddy would have thrown her out of kilter and caused physical symptoms, but those particular ones? Her eyes went to Violet’s hunched figure, to see if there had been any change apart from the weight loss. Or maybe it was too soon.

Violet looked up from her glass and noticed her mother-in-law’s expression.

‘Violet,’ said Dolly steadily, ‘is there something you haven’t told me? This isn’t the first morning you’ve been sick. I know you’re still in shock and it could just be that, but even so …’

Violet set down her glass and slumped lower in the chair. ‘I don’t know, Mam. I feel so poorly. I think it’s finally hit me, what it all means, you know. That I’ll be on my own and he’s never coming home.’

Dolly’s heart went out to her and she moved across the room to stand beside the old chair and pat Violet on the shoulder. ‘I know, love. It’s hard. It’s so unfair, you two being so right together. He was a lovely lad and there’s never been one like him.’ She paused to sniff back her own tears. Now was not the time to break down. It wouldn’t help Violet – and she had to find out the truth. ‘What I wondered, though – and don’t take on if I’m wrong – I just thought, there might be another reason you’re sick?’

Violet looked up at her blankly.

‘Violet, think,’ said Dolly, trying to get through to her daughter-in-law. ‘Eddy was back in April, wasn’t he? Easter week, it was. Now it’s July. Count back, love. Can you remember if you’ve had your monthlies since then?’

Violet almost dropped her glass. She gasped and her hand went to her belly. ‘My … hang about, I don’t … did I …’ She shook her head. ‘Oh, Mam, I don’t know, but I don’t think so. What with all the restrictions and everything, I stopped bothering to check.’

‘And you’ve been giving extra food to Georgie off your own plate for ages, don’t think I haven’t seen,’ said Dolly, mock-sternly. ‘You practically starve yourself, my girl. Well, that has to stop. Think, Violet. This is important. If I’m right, we’ve got to get you eating proper whether you feel up to it or not. There might be more than just you to consider.’

Violet slowly pushed herself to her feet. It was as if she was waking up from a dream. ‘Maybe. Let me try to remember. Easter week … well, I know I had the monthlies in March because they were painful as can be and Sarah made me a special herb tea, but perhaps …’ She looked at the smoke-yellowed ceiling as if the answer might be written there. Moments passed. Then she shook her head again. ‘There’s been nothing like that since. I’m sure now. To be honest I was tired out before we got the news that he’d died and I thought it was just one of those things. I’d forgotten that. Yes, I was like this before.’ Her face changed and she turned to Dolly. ‘Do you think it can be true, Mam? I might be carrying Eddy’s baby? Really? Is that why I’ve been so poorly? If that’s what it is, I don’t care. I’ll be sick all the time, I’ll never complain. I can’t believe it.’ She started to cry, a mixture of sorrow and joy. ‘Oh, Mam, we talked about having children all the time. I so wanted to have his children.’

‘I know, love. I know.’ Dolly went to hug her, carefully now.

‘It wouldn’t make up for losing him,’ Violet went on, ‘but this way I’d still have something of him; he’d be living on through his baby. It would be wonderful.’

‘It would,’ Dolly agreed, blotting out the fears that it would be hard for a young woman on her own to raise a child without its father. Well, she would just have to make sure Violet didn’t have to cope alone, that all the rest of the family would help out – just as Violet had helped out up to now. ‘And that means, my girl, that you really are going to have to start eating properly. Never mind being tired, you have to think about that child on its way. We’ll have to get your rations sorted too. You’ll get clothes points, you know.’