Wild Lily (Those Notorious Americans Book 1)(94)

He turned on his heel to stroll into the woods while his wife whooped with joy at her surroundings.

Heedless of his wanderings, he soon found himself back at the stables.

“My lord?” Docker called to him, a hand to his brow to shield from the sun. “Will you show her the saddle today?”

“Maybe. She’s in the redone cottage. They’re all with her. Laughing.”

“As they should be, sir. It’s fine thing you’ve done there.”

“I think so. I’m back to the house. My wife and I will come down later for a ride after dinner.” I hope we will. Nervous as a boy called on the carpet, Julian left the stables.

Halfway home, he stopped at the sound of her voice.

“Julian! Julian?” Lily shouted to him and he turned to see her, her skirts in her hand, running up the lane like a child.

Her glossy black hair had fallen from her pins. Her cheeks were red. Her beautiful blue eyes danced, alight with glee. Before him, she glowed. She caught her breath, a hand to her chest. “Julian, what you did! It’s marvelous.”

“You like it? Think it’s complete?”

“Oh, heavens, darling, it’s the most fabulous canteen I’ve ever seen. You’ve thought of everything. Ether and iodine. Bandages and plaster. Needles.”

He took hope at her endearment. “I’m sure you’ll need more. More of everything.”

“Eventually.” She reached for his hand. “Thank you. How did you think of this?”

“That was easy. I tried to think as you do. About others. About what you can give them of yourself.”

“You’ve spent a fortune.”

“I’m shocked at how affordable it all was.”

“After the medical kit for Tipperary, this is an extraordinary gift, Julian.”

“There is another kit just like it in your bedroom for the infirmary here.”

She sucked in her breath.

“And another at Willowreach, along with a duplicate of this infirmary. I wanted you to have the best that was possible wherever you went. Wherever you go.”

“I’m enormously grateful.” At once, she seemed sad and took her hand from him. “I know they are, too.”

“Their health is mine.” Your joy is mine. And your lack is my despair. He had to walk away. He couldn’t bear to remain and see her struggle for words. “I’ll see you later.”

He’d failed her.

Again.

He turned on his heel.

“Julian, wait!”

He halted. Fresh misery washed over him. He had to stop hoping for her change of heart.

She took his arm and pulled him around. “I am truly overjoyed with your gift. I never expected such a superb facility.”

“Don’t go on, Lily. I can see it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change anything.”

“But it does.” She sounded conciliatory.

He shook his head. “I wanted you to see how I welcome who you are. What you are. That whatever you want to do with your days is the way you should live your life. That I love you as you are. Not as I thought I wanted my wife to be. Not as others thought you should be. But you.”

She seized his hand.

His heart cracked in two. “I loved you from the start. The day in the Rue de la Paix. The night at the opera. The house party at Carbury’s. I couldn’t stay away. I tried. God knows, I didn’t want the shame of marrying you or anyone for their fortune. I told myself I was better than that. More noble. And I nursed my pride. But when it came to you, I loved you in spite of your wealth and your father and even the machinations of my own. I would have married you if the devil himself had warned me off.” He sank a hand into the wealth of her silken hair and she flowed against him. “I love you, but if you cannot bear me and you wish to leave, do it.”

“And if I would never leave you?” she asked on a thread of sound. Tears stood in her eyes.

“Wouldn’t you?”

She rose on her toes to bless his lips with hers. “I love you, Julian. I’ve waited so long to tell you. Denied you my own declaration and it killed me. I needed you to love me and I couldn’t bear that you might not.”

He cupped her jaw and examined what truth he saw in her lovely blue eyes. “You’ll stay?”

“You love me. Oh, Julian, how could I ever go?” She kissed him, once and again, and he scooped her up in his arms to kiss her back.

As he tasted her lips, his heart was sewn up with the balm of her own declaration. “You won’t leave me again.”

“Never. Wherever you are is where I must be.”