Wild Lily (Those Notorious Americans Book 1)(71)

His elbows to his knees, he leaned toward her. “In my mind, yes. In hers, too.”

“What went wrong?”

“She played me against the other two.”

“How?”

“She ran a child’s game asking us to write poetry and take her out for buggy rides.”

Lily’s delicate dark brows inched high. “Unchaperoned?”

“No. Nothing like that. But it was a series of silly trials.”

“She was testing each of you?” Lily asked with a certain disdain in her features.

“She was. It seemed funny, romantic. We were young. Well, I was twenty-three. And I’d never been—”

They stared at each other, across the abyss created by his abrupt silence.

Her eyes turned dark with worry. “Say it.”

“I’d never been in love before.”

She swallowed, her slender throat convulsing with the news. “Go on.”

He licked his lower lip. “I took hope that she favored me. I—”

“Why?” Lily interrupted him.

“She allowed me liberties. And so I—”

“Made love to her?” she asked in such a flat tone, he thought he might’ve imagined her question.

“No. Never anything so enormous as that.”

“But what?”

He got to his feet. “You can’t expect me to tell you everything.”

“Why not?”

“Because it occurred eight, nine years ago and for you to know it all is irrelevant.”

“Is it?” she countered him, her pale face turned up to him.

“It is.” He would not hurt his wife unnecessarily.

“What happened?”

“That June, each of us proposed to her.” He laughed that the memory had surprisingly faded, the sorrow was hollowed of its old aching sense of loss. “On the same day, as it turns out. She chose the man she is married to. Has been these many years.”

“And he is young?”

“The same age as I am.”

“And healthy?” she persisted.

“He is.”

“And why is he not here with her?”

Julian shrugged. The salacious pastimes of the Duke of Norfield were nothing his wife would ever understand, nor wish to. “I didn’t ask her.”

“What did she want to discuss with you tonight?”

Ah, well. That was easy to say. After all, he’d come this far. “My marriage to you.”

Lily nodded, her expression blank. “She’s curious. I saw that. And I suppose that’s natural. Given that she’d like to resume her…her friendship with you.”

“We are not friends.”

She shot him a hard look of reproof. “Any woman who approaches a man with sorrow in her eyes and hope on her lips wants more than simple conversation, Julian.”

He might as well admit it. “I agree.”

His wife sat straighter in her seat. “Will she get what she wants?”

He strode to her, raised her face with gentle fingers and shook his head. “No. I’ve no need of her.”

“You’ll tell me, won’t you, if you change your mind?” She looked so valiant it broke his heart.

“I won’t change it, Lily.”

“Good to know,” she said and got to her feet. Then she walked toward her dressing room. “Thank you. I appreciate your candor.”

“Lily.” He wanted to explain but what more was there to say?

She tipped her head toward the other room. “I think I’ll sleep in here this evening. Good night, Julian.”

He was left to stare at the empty doorway, wishing he could have found words to dispel her fears. Wishing he could dispel his own.





Chapter Fourteen


Dodging the heavy rainfall, Julian climbed up into his carriage and sat down beside his pretty wife. In her fetching spring green traveling suit, he would admire her and forbid himself to touch the perfection. In the past week since their return to Willowreach from Burnett House, he’d paid inordinate attention to her. Claiming they were still in their honeymoon period, he had romanced her and she’d returned to his bed with her old enthusiasm for sensual play. Keeping her busy making love, he’d discovered how unrestrained she was in how she loved, how she laughed, how she gave of herself. And not just to him.

Each day for the past four, she’d gone to the village to check on the tenants’ health. Especially for the children, she was concerned. Julian had gone with her yesterday. In fact, from Ashford, he’d ordered a few supplies she requested. Powders and cough syrups, a catarrh she favored. When she noted that one of the tenant’s wives was very great with child, she’d said how she’d like to purchase a stethoscope.

“I had a collection of instruments in Corpus Christi, but I left them in America. I want to purchase a new set. They’d come in handy here.”

He’d agreed to buy a complete array of whatever she wanted. “I’ll send to London. You shall have them very soon.”

She’d hugged him tightly and exclaimed over and over again how pleased she was he’d let her nurse his people.

Why wouldn’t he? It brought her joy. It brought his people health. It inspired pride in her.