Wild Hunger (The Phoenix Pack #7)(36)
“I’m not scared, I just . . . Look, I watched the mated pairs when I visited your territory. I saw how devoted they are to each other. I don’t think, just because something went wrong for my parents, that having a mate is a bad thing. But I feel so torn right now. I’m still struggling to find a way to make everyone happy—”
“You can’t,” he said softly. “I wish you could, baby, but you can’t.” His pack would be happy as long as they had contact with her, but she couldn’t give them that without hurting her maternal family.
“I have to try.”
“Then you try. But the Newmans will expect you to give me up and cut contact with the pack, just like they expect you to give up sculpting—like it isn’t part of who you are.” Trick draped an arm over her shoulders, hating how vulnerable she looked right then. “Come on. You need to sit. We’ll talk this out.” He led her to the kitchen, where she slid onto one of the stools at the island. “Wine or beer?”
“Beer.” Frankie waited until she’d had a long drink from the bottle before she asked, “How long have you believed we’re mates?” She thought back to the way he’d behaved at the coffeehouse, how he’d watched her like a hawk, touched her with so much possessiveness. “It’s been since that first day, hasn’t it?”
Trick planted a hand on the island on either side of her, caging her in. “I knew the moment our eyes met outside the coffeehouse and my world tilted that you’re mine.”
“You were so sure so quickly?”
He gently brushed her nose with his. “How much do you know about mating bonds?”
Being half shifter, she’d made a point of learning about mating bonds by reading blogs written by shifters. “They’re metaphysical. Once they’re fully formed, they’re only breakable by death. They join the couple so closely that it’s rare that one can live without the other.”
“That’s right. Some pairs recognize each other as their true mates instantly—not often, but it does happen. Then the mating urge kicks in, and it literally drives the couple to claim each other.”
She’d read about that, read that it was like a fever in the bloodstream that sent the person’s arousal soaring, and the arousal wouldn’t go away until the couple bonded. “I haven’t felt any mating urge.”
“Because something’s blocking the bond. It’s like a frequency; the way needs to be clear for the couple to pick it up. Fears, secrets, and doubts can block a bond. I don’t have to wonder what’s blocking ours. You’re struggling to balance everything. You’re trying to find a way to belong to both worlds—in doing that, you’re splitting yourself in half. All of you has to accept your shifter side.”
Frankie bristled, pausing with the bottle halfway to her mouth. “I do accept my wolf. Always have.”
“Not talking about your wolf. I’m talking about what comes with her: your heritage, your past, your pack—especially since mating with me will mean moving to pack territory. In case you’re wondering, no, you are not expected to give up your job. You’re not the only pack member who has one. The only thing you would be giving up is this house.” But accepting all that would mean the Newmans would likely turn on her.
Frankie tossed back a mouthful of beer. “If there was no mating urge, how were you so sure we were mates so fast?”
“Because nothing’s blocking the bond on my end. I have no doubts or fears about mating. I have plenty of personal issues, but none that would get in the way of mating.” He dabbed a kiss on first one corner of her mouth and then the other, needing the contact. “It’s commonly believed that our inner animals know their mate at first sight. I trust my wolf’s instincts and I listen to him, so I always believed that I’d recognize my true mate at the same time as he did. To be honest, though, a part of me started to doubt that he’d recognize her so easily.”
“Why?”
“Tao’s wolf didn’t like Riley at first, so I started to wonder if maybe our animals don’t always know instantly. I told myself that just because Tao’s wolf didn’t initially like her didn’t mean that he didn’t recognize her as his. Riley loved to drive Tao insane, so I supposed it was possible that his wolf just felt disrespected and dismissed by her.” Trick cupped the side of her neck and began lightly breezing his thumb up and down the column of her throat. “If my wolf recognized you as mine when we were kids, he didn’t communicate it to me.”
“Maybe you just weren’t as in tune with him back then.”
“I should have known.”
Frankie didn’t like the self-condemnation in his tone. “Why? Did you have the same mentality about mating that you do now?”
“No. I was a kid, so my priorities were much simpler. But I was protective of you, though I just figured it was because you were the youngest pup. I was even a little possessive, now that I think about it. When you left, I kept asking Iris when you were coming back. I was angry when you didn’t. Not at you, just at the situation. My wolf was just as angry.”
“How did your wolf react to me when we met outside the coffeehouse?”
“He went perfectly still. Searched for a weakness. Ready to pounce and claim. He sensed you were his instantly. He was pissed the hell off when I left you at the coffeehouse. Wanted to take you home and keep you safe.” He paused as something occurred to him, something that made his pulse quicken and gave him hope. “You haven’t said we might not be mates. Why?”