When Our Worlds Stand Still (Our Worlds #3)(80)

The elevator ride to the second floor is quiet. When I asked Kennedy to check on Ben, I didn’t expect her to disappear all day. The young brunette at the nurses’ station leans around the counter and catches me. She doesn’t ask any questions, only shakes her head and grins as I stride by her to Ben’s room. A dry erase board gives his name and other important information. My eyes search the boards of the other children. Every one lists the name of the patient’s parents. Not Ben’s. Where their names should be, his is empty.

That’s not fair.

I ease the door open and walk inside. Kennedy gives me a questioning glance, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“Are you supposed to be out of bed?” She stands from the chair she’s clearly been using as a bed, and stretches.

“Technically no.” I shrug. “The nurses were taking too long to ask them permission, so I took it upon myself.”

Kennedy waves a finger in the air, circling my face. “You’re off the oxygen.” Her eyes widen. “Oh god, Graham, please tell me they gave you permission.”

“Do I look like a total idiot?” I ask. “You know what, never mind. Don’t answer that. How’s he doing?” I nod my chin to a sleeping Ben.

“He’s okay. He told me why he ran back in the building.”

My eyes fall to Ben. He looks so helpless and tiny in the hospital bed. If anything would’ve happened to him, I don’t know what I would’ve done. “All for the photos and a stupid baseball. I told him I could’ve bought him new ones.”

“That’s not the point, though, is it?” Kennedy’s gaze falls to Ben.

“No, it’s not.”

Back in her chair, she picks up the remote and flips through the channels. I take the other seat beside his bed.

“Hey, little man,” I whisper to Ben.

“Let him sleep.” Kennedy waves in the air between us.

Her motherly tone makes me laugh. “So, what are we going to watch?”

“How about this?” She stops on some VH1 reality show, and when I immediately shake my head no, she tosses the remote to me. “Why don’t you pick?”

An action movie catches my eye. Instead of paying attention, Kennedy examines me out the corner of her eye. She doesn’t think I notice her, but I do. Every few minutes, I search Ben’s face and reassure myself he’s okay. Then I allow myself the pleasure of taking a detailed inventory of Kennedy’s profile.

When I return to the TV screen, Kennedy blurts out, “Have you ever thought of adoption?”

I sit up a little straighter at the word and turn to her. “Excuse me? What?”

“When I watch you with him, it makes me wonder what would happen if he was adopted by another family. You might never be able to see him again.” Kennedy shrugs. “How does that make you feel?”

“Scared.” I scrub my hands down my face, swallowing the frustrating lump in my throat.

“And why do you think that is?” Kennedy smiles, nudging me in the direction she knows we’ll end up anyway.

“Because he somehow has buried his little ass in the slivers of my heart.”

Kennedy laughs. “There’s that, and also because, for the first time, you see your life how it’s supposed to be, Graham.”

“Growing up the way I did, being a father was never in my plans.”

“Maybe because you’re afraid you can’t be the father you always deserved?”

“How would I even go about trying to adopt Ben? Could I even? I’m in college.”

“My guess is you talk to Betty. She’d probably be able to point you in the right direction.”

I sit back, my eyes on the television, but I have no idea what’s on the screen. When did this little boy come to mean so much to me? What kind of father would I be? My eyes turn to Kennedy, and I realize none of those questions matter. I take a deep breath, tears burning my eyes.

“Are we doing this?”

At the mention of we, Kennedy understands I won’t be doing this monumental thing alone. She’s part of the equation. The decision to adopt doesn’t just lay in my hands. She has a large say in whether or not this happens.

Kennedy’s eyes drop to Ben. His bottom lip quivers, and she laughs through the tears she’s trying to hold back. All I need to know is right here in front of me. Through her eyelashes, she peers at me. All the questions pour from her eyes. They’re the same ones I’m asking myself.

Can we afford to give him the life he deserves? What will our life look like? What will we be giving up?

And then her smile widens, and I realize we won’t be giving up anything.

“Marry me,” I whisper.

“What?” Kennedy’s eyes widen. She clutches her hand to her chest.

“You heard me.” I stand and circle the bed. “I know it’s not going to be easy, and at times we’re going to want to utterly kill each other, but the one thing I’ve always been sure of is, you and I are meant to be together. Until the end of time, Kennedy Lucille Conrad, I will be yours. Please, marry me.”

She trembles as she stands, throws herself into my chest, and wraps her arms around my waist.

“Is that a yes?” Ben’s small voice breaks us apart. The smirk on his face makes Kennedy and me take a deep breath.