When Our Worlds Stand Still (Our Worlds #3)(14)

“I don’t think she wants to marry you, Mr. Graham.” Ben giggles.

“She doesn’t know it yet, but she will.” I wink at her but speak to Ben.

“I thought you said girls have cooties.” Ben wrinkles his nose in disgust.

His innocence is the most refreshing part of our visits. “One day you won’t mind so much, buddy.”

“Whatever you say.” He flits his hand, dismissing me, and turns back to Kennedy. “If Mr. Graham wants to marry you, then you should say yes. He’s my best friend.”

As Ben runs out of the room, Kennedy’s eyes water as she examines the barefooted seven-year-old wearing Batman pajamas. What she doesn’t know is, Ben has been an orphan for almost two years. After his father was incarcerated for murdering his mother, he had nowhere to go but here.

“What is this place? From the outside, it looks like a gym,” she says.

“An orphanage for boys and girls who’ve lost parents to violence. It was founded almost fifteen years ago by a group of women who lost a friend to domestic violence. They want to give children who’ve lost everything, a safe place to go in a world where cruelty is all they’ve ever known.”

“And their fathers?”

“All that matters are the children here are safe.”

Right in front of my eyes, Kennedy’s heart melts in places where her guards have been up. “How long have you been coming here?” Her eyes dance around the room, taking in the bright primary colors splashed across every surface.

I rub my neck, easing a fraction of my tension. “Seven or eight months.”

Kennedy does the math in her head, but she doesn’t argue the semantics. Instead, she walks further into the building. Her hand graces a sign reminding the kids to always dream. She turns back to me, her hand extended. “Show me what you’ve been up to.”

I grab her hand and hold her in place. “Before we go any further, I need to tell you something.”

Now she rubs the back of her neck. The tension between us is palpable, taking life in the crooks of our muscles. “What is it?”

“Freshman year, when I moved to Georgia, it was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, because I felt like a part of you needed me, but another part of you didn’t.”

“Graham …”

“No, let me say this.” I shake my head at the memories of the last year. “When you forced me to take a few steps back, it scared the shit out of me, Ken. I physically felt you slipping through my fingers, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do.”

She pulls away, staring out the window. “I was in a bad place. It wasn’t anything you did. It was me. I didn’t want to hold you back.”

“While you went through everything, I sat back with no way of helping you, but I knew, at some point, you would be better and you would need me.”

She whips around and shakes her head. “I don’t need you.”

“No, you don’t need me, but you want me, and that’s good enough for me.”

Kennedy dries the falling tears on her pink-hued cheeks. “Why, though? After all this time, why does it still feel like we’re linked to each other?”

“Senior prom.”

“What?”

“At Senior prom, I told you I was born to find you, and I meant every word. When you were ready, I had every intention of being close by. I may have felt far away, Ken, but I’ve been here the entire time.”

“So, I’m supposed to believe you let me fall apart, but had every intention to come back to me when I was better?”

“I didn’t let you fall apart. You needed to fall apart. There’s a difference.” I brush strands of hair from her face. “Do you think it was easy for me? I wasn’t in the best head space either, Ken. I was dealing with my father’s bullshit, and then there was you, and it was hard. It was excruciating.”

“And now?”

“Honestly? I thought I had more time, but you ran into Mark, and it all went out the window. We needed more time. We were never meant to find each other in high school. Things are screwed up enough when you’re young.”

“Graham, okay, but would you change any of it? If you could turn back time and make it so we never met until later in life, would you?” she questions my intent. “I think about it sometimes. What life would look like if we’d met in college or after.”

The idea plays in my mind for a split second before I answer. “Here’s the thing, I wouldn’t change a damn thing. You made me who I am now, and this version of me is the only one that matters because he’s the one who’s worthy of you.”

“So, this Graham, the one who volunteers in orphanages and says sweet things, is the one who’s always been in there, but never had the capacity to come out?” She challenges me and all of my past choices.

The thing is, life isn’t cut and dry. Everyone is capable of a lot of things, but when you’re young, you make choices that satisfy you most at the moment. I made too many hasty decisions in my past. Looking back, most were wrong because they didn’t benefit me in any capacity.

“I know what I want in this life, Kennedy, and it’s not to be some asshole baseball player who has a sense of entitlement. I want to be someone who puts others first, and wears his heart on his sleeve.”