When Our Worlds Collide (Our Worlds #1)(73)
How can I talk about this with her? The determined look on my mom’s face said everything I needed to know. I wasn’t going to get off easy so I dove right in.
“Do you think two people that have every reason in the world to not be together can still find a way to make it work? Like if the whole world is finding a reason to fight against these two people, can they still find a reason to fight back?” I ramble on feeling utterly embarrassed enough to throw myself back onto my bed pulling a pillow over my head to attempt at hiding it. She quickly grabs it uncovering my pink face.
“I think it all depends,” she smiles at me as if she has all of the answers. “Is this just two people or are we talking about you and Graham? Because if we’re talking about you and that adorable boy then I’d bet he would fight to the end of the world for you. I don’t know much about him, but I do know he has a reputation. None of that matters to me when he looks at you the way he does.”
“What do you mean? How does he look at me?” I shyly ask tears threatening to show just what is going on inside my head. Talking about things like this with my mom isn’t natural. This was foreign territory for us. It’s definitely a first considering before Graham came along I had never had a boyfriend or even admitted to having a crush on someone out loud.
“Like his world starts and ends with you. I don’t know what’s all happened between you two, but I know that you haven’t been with each other for too long. With that said that boy adores you. Don’t let your mind wander too far where you can’t find your way back to him if that’s what you truly want.” She lays a soft kiss on the top of my head then walks out of my room leaving me with her advice.
I stare at the same wall for hours as if I expect it to open up and have answers to all of my questions. As if I could force the answers from the cold white walls just from staring into them. I replay my mother’s advice over in my head. Kicking Graham out of my room was irrational now that the dust has settled. I know the reason behind my rash behavior. I’m frustrated with him, with everything.
My mother is right though. Like usual, but don’t tell her I said that. I just feel too much too quickly for Graham that it’s not natural. We’re in high school. We shouldn’t be wrapped up in each other this soon. If the universe wants us to be together then it would stop giving us reasons not to be.
Everything that is and will be Graham is frightening. He’s the type of guy that will manage to be gorgeous after thirty years pass, the type of guy who can be cocky then turn around and prove to you that he also has this unbelievably sweet side. Mostly he’s the type of guy who doesn’t ask you to change, but you find yourself changing anyways. He’s the ultimate prize whether he sees it in himself or not.
Whenever Graham’s nearby I can feel him as if we have this invisible tether that keeps us connected, keeps us feeling. The first time it happened was the night of the accident. As I stood on the stage I felt nervous and awkward, as if I still didn’t belong after all this time of being their peer. The lights came on and focused solely on me. When I looked out at the crowd before the music began to play I saw him. He’s all I saw. He was my lighthouse and I was the lost boat. He guided me through that moment whether he was aware of it at the time or not. I’m sure he had no idea of how he made me feel that night and then the accident happened. I wasn’t sure then what was happening, but I knew something switched in me. I hadn’t been looking for Graham. He came along anyways. I believe that’s how all love stories begin. How they end is a whole different thing.
Graham is the one responsible for my accident. When he was the one who showed up above me that night, looking over my broken and disheveled body, I felt a sense of relief course through my veins. He looked down at me with fear in his eyes. He knew what he had done and he was just as scared as I had been. At the time I didn’t know a thing about the type of guy Graham is, but that didn’t matter much in the long run.
I made the decision I did based on the look in his eyes. I never told him this. It still doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to me even after all this time. When he was hunched over me looking at my injuries he grabbed my hand then he looked at me. Like really looked at me and that’s when I saw it. There was a glisten in his eyes, a look that exposed his soul without him realizing it. I couldn’t do anything but admire what I saw. He turned out to be exactly what I thought even when he tries to prove me wrong time and time again.
There’s another knock on my door as I am starting to get ready for bed. My mom has come back with more words of wisdom I’m sure. She’s the type of person that thinks of the right thing to stay far too long after the moment has passed. I inherited that trait from her. It’s the reason why every time I want to yell at someone (primarily Graham) I can’t think of the right thing to say.
“Can I come in?” My dad’s voice echoes through my room as he enters.
“Sure,” I answer sitting down on the bed. He never comes in here unless it’s important. He always says things like “a girl’s domain is no place I want to be” or “it’s too pink in here”. He’s funny like that.
“I know you’re stressed about your leg and what it may mean for your future…”
I stop him before he can say anything else. He can’t be further from the truth. “Dad, it’s not just that. Of course I’m worried but it’s out of my hands at this point. It is what it is. I’ll deal with it,” I explain the best I’m capable of.