When Our Worlds Collide (Our Worlds #1)(61)

“No…no…we can’t. Nothing even happened,” I protest.

“Kennedy, it doesn’t matter if he finished the job. The whole point is what his intentions were,” Graham tries explaining but I refuse to hear anything he is saying.

“How’d you know I was in there anyways?” I ask changing the subject.

“I never left. You just didn’t see me. I didn’t like seeing how much you were drinking. I stuck around to make sure you would be okay. I knew I was the last person you wanted around, but I couldn’t leave. I saw Craig taking you upstairs. I followed you up and just sat outside the room just in case. I just didn’t want to leave you alone with him,” Graham confesses. I had a feeling there is more to it than what he’s putting on. His eyes are torn. I can see how worried he is for me. He wants me to report his best friend, but I don’t see the point. I’m embarrassed and what could they possibly do? I went up there with him willingly.

My smile is forced. “Graham, thank you,” I point towards the house. “…for that.”

“You don’t need to thank me. It should have never happened Kennedy and if it wasn’t for what I had done with Amanda then it wouldn’t have. That…that was my fault.” Graham slinks his body forward resting his head in his hands.

Just like everything else he’s going to put this all on his shoulders just as he had with the car accident. He may have played a part in these two misfortunes, but I’m not willing to let him take the full brunt of the fall.

“Listen to me. This is not your fault. If I hadn’t been hell bent on making you jealous then I wouldn’t have ended up in Craig’s arms and he wouldn’t have tried to…he wouldn’t have…” I can’t get the words out to finish the thought without picturing Craig’s massive body on top of mine. Graham can feel the tension in my body. He reaches over intertwining his fingers with mine before kissing the backside of my hand. I can feel his hand shaking next to mine.

“I got to you in time Kennedy and promise that no one will ever hurt you like that again,” Graham’s eyes are pleading with me to grasp what he was trying to say. He doesn’t need to say it out loud. I looked up to him through my tear soaked eyelashes. He looks down at our hands breaking the eye contact. Before he does I swear I see wetness in his eyes.

“Can you take me home?” I whisper. He nods before jumping out of the car.

Graham’s tentative to my unsteady state of mind as he helps me to the front seat. The entire ride back to my house is spent watching Graham holding onto my hand with a tenderness that surprises me. He guides my hand to his mouth allowing his lips to linger on the back for several seconds. My mind wants to focus on what Craig’s intentions were tonight when my heart wants to fly with Graham’s sweet attention. Words can’t explain how thankful I am for how sweet he’s being with me. Every moment he breaks the contact I can feel an ache in my chest pulling me towards him causing me to let out an audible groan. He’s making me feel safe when I know I should feel scared to death.

We pull into the drive way. Graham turns to look at me. “Kennedy, are you okay?” he asks softly.

“I will be. I’m not right now though,” I wipe a few tears away as they fall. It’s hard to explain how I feel. I’m numb, but at the same time being close to Graham makes me feel everything.

Graham quickly rushes over to my side of the car opening the door. He bends down cradling me in his arms, although unnecessary---very sweet. We reach the front door as he grabs my set of keys from my grasp that I dug out of my purse on the ride here. The house is dark. I insist Graham put me down. I flick on a few lights to give the rooms some life. I don’t want it to be dark tonight.

In a trance I find my way down the hallway into my bedroom as if my body’s on auto pilot---making deliberate moves in fear of breaking down. I can feel Graham following close behind me. When I turn around he leans his weight against the door frame of my room as I sit idle on the edge of my bed.

Tonight isn’t supposed to be like this. Things like this aren’t supposed to happen to girls like me. Things like this change people. I can already feel a part of me dying as I sit here staring into an oblivion unsure of what’s going on around me. A part of me is gone…that much I can feel and I’m not sure if I will ever get her back again. I feel unsafe in my own skin for the first time in my life. Knowing what to do next seems like too much of a chore.

I can see Graham moving around my room in a blur. I feel his arm reaching around my waist hoisting me up. I follow him into the bathroom as he leads, bending down to turn the shower on. There’s no stopping him when he starts to peel off my clothes. My shirt’s pulled up gently over my head and my skirt and underwear fell to the ground into the pile. Graham eases his hands around my back to undo my bra. There isn’t anything sexual about him undressing me. He’s merely taking care of me in the only way he thinks will be helpful. He somehow knows just what I need---to wash it all away.

I point out my cast cover and he helps slide it on before guiding me into the shower. He follows behind me still wearing his jeans and grey t-shirt. I lean my head against the hard tile letting the hot water lap over my back. Graham hands stay strongly on my hips bearing most of my weight as I sob uncontrollably.

I feel everything washing down the drain. Well, as much that can be washed away. You always hear that girls who have been assaulted feel dirty the only thing they want to do is shower. This isn’t any different. Although Craig didn’t succeed, I still feel disgusting---dirty, used up. My skin’s crawling remembering the way he touched me. I can smell him on my skin still. The shower slowly covers that feeling until it disappears or at least fades the best it can. It doesn’t drown out the sound of Craig’s zipper lowering. Unfortunately, that keeps playing over in my head.