When Our Worlds Collide (Our Worlds #1)(44)

It’s been exhausting all week to stop myself from looking back at him in Government. Keeping my eyes off of him in the hallway and the cafeteria when he’s surrounded by his band of followers seems to be a full time job these days. We haven’t talked since the day he stormed out of the cafeteria. Every day the bruise seems to be healing a little more than the day before though. It keeps me wondering if that is the worst it’s ever been. Worrying about Graham isn’t my responsibility. In spite of myself, I keep wishing that it was.

Graham never bothered to explain what happened that night before he came knocking on my door. I have my own theories. My mind can fill in a few blanks that he left behind. It wasn’t something I could ever begin to understand. To be honest, I don’t want to. What happened to him was far too dark for me to comprehend. Any punishment I’ve known is child’s play compared to the fear I saw on his face as he stood on my porch helpless that night.

Craig and I started hanging out more even though I know he has a reputation. I never have been the type of person who judged someone before the opportunity to get to know them. Secretly, I enjoyed having the attention from someone like Craig. I saw the way girls looked at him. As shallow as it may be, it made me feel like I belonged when I was near him.

Craig drove me to school every day, always willing to carry my bag. Every morning we were met in the parking lot by his group of friends. Violet usually dragged me away, while Graham glared holes into the side of Craig’s head and forced back a smile towards me. It is as if the two of us are torturing ourselves. I caught Graham on more than one occasion stealing glances when he thought no one was paying attention and I know I was doing the same thing. We kept our distance though. I think we both understand why. It was just easier that way. It made more sense, made things less complicated. We didn’t know how to navigate through all the newness of things. Leaving a giant gap between us makes the decision easy for us.

After spending the past few days with Craig, Violet’s getting antsy and demands that we have a girl’s night spending too much money at the mall then going to dinner. I let her drag me into practically every store in the mall looking for the perfect dress for prom. It was just around the corner. The whole ritual makes me nervous. I’ve never been to a dance. No one’s ever bothered to ask me.

“What about this one?” Violet springs from the fitting room modeling an extremely short sequin dress. It truly looks amazing on her and the green brings out her eyes perfectly.

“I really like it,” I state feeling distracted.

“Are you shitting me? Kennedy, you like it? That’s not exactly the lack luster impression I want with my prom dress.” Her hands are on her hips glaring down at me in the chair that I’m sitting in.

“So far it’s my favorite. You’re going with Dan, right?” I know bringing him up in conversation will distract her from my less than enthusiastic response to her dress.

“Of course,” Violet’s obnoxious grin gave her away.

“What’s going on with you two anyways?” I stand looking over a table that’s sitting outside of the fitting room. I pull a light blue infinity scarf over my head looking in the mirror to grimace at the color before placing it back into the table. I look back at her waiting for a response. Even though I already know the answer she’s going to give me, I asked hoping she’d be honest for once.

I know that they hook up in a regular basis. That little fact is common knowledge. Their situation goes much further than that though. She just isn’t willing to admit it. I don’t think either of them wants to admit it. Everyone around them who’s not blind can tell they are into each other. They steal playful glances in front of whoever’s around and he is constantly finding a reason to brush up against her. They are cute with each other.

“We have sex and that’s all it is,” Violet tries to convince me or perhaps she’s trying to convince herself as well in the process.

“Whatever you say,” I laugh at her obvious denial.

Violet walks into the fitting room to change out of what would hopefully be “the” dress. She continues to talk to me the entire time. “What about you and Craig? I’ve seen you guys at lunch.” She steps out in her own clothes looking me up and down with question. “The boy practically walks behind you like a love sick puppy falling at your every word. It’s sort of adorable. I’ve never seen him like that with anyone.”

I suppose something is going on between us. Being sure I wanted anything to go any further was where I was having the trouble. We’ve kissed a few times since his party, but I never let it go further than that. I kind of get the idea that Craig wants it to go faster than I’m ready for. He tends to get agitated when I stop his journey a little too far south. He never says anything out loud in the moment. It’s a feeling I get. Something about him makes me nervous. I just can’t seem to put my finger on whatever is causing my discomfort with him.

I must have been in deep thought when Violet interrupted me. “Earth to Kennedy. Did you even hear what I said?” she waved her hand in front of my face.

“I’m sorry. My mind was just wandering. What did you ask?” I walked around the table of scarves again picking up a pink floral print one.

“What’s going on with you and Craig? I heard he was planning on asking you to prom.”

“Ugh…I don’t know. I like hanging out with him, but if I’m being honest I don’t understand him. I’m obviously not his type. On top of that, something happened the other day that made me sort of… uneasy.” The thought trailed off as I remember the look in his eye the other day in his bedroom.