When Our Worlds Collide (Our Worlds #1)(21)
Chapter Twelve
-Graham-
Hearing Kennedy’s parents argue in the next room reminds me of home. It’s comforting knowing that my family isn’t the only ones that spend their nights arguing. How fucked up am I? I have a feeling that this isn’t a normal occurrence like it is at mine house. I can relate and I know she’s feeling uncomfortable with me being here. She looks over at me as her neck and cheeks begin to beam with the softest shade of pink.
“You plan on going to college in New York?” I ask in attempt to make her not freak out in embarrassment.
“If I’m lucky enough I will. At this point it’s a waiting game with my leg,” she explains shrugging her shoulders as if it isn’t that big of a deal. The way she peers over my way makes it seem like she feels bad for saying it. She is trying to protect my feelings, when it should be the other way around.
I swallow hard before continuing with the conversation. “You don’t think you’ll be able to dance?”
“No it’s not that. I’m sure I will--at some point. I’m just not sure if it will be like I used to. It’s going to take a while to heal is all I meant. I’m sorry.”
Why is she apologizing?
“How long have you been dancing?” I’m actually curious which surprises me.
“I started when I was four and haven’t stopped since,” she grins at me like it is Christmas morning and she realized Santa had made a visit. She obviously loves dancing by the way her eyes light up when she talks about it. “What about you?”
“How long have I been dancing?” I joke nudging her with my elbow right in her side. I feel comfortable around her. I don’t feel the need to be someone I’m not. It’s a nice and unexpected change. This is a good thing I try to remind myself. I let my arm fall directly next to where Kennedy’s lays naturally. Our skin is touching, but she doesn’t shy away from me. Damn, her skin is soft.
“Baseball…how long have you been playing baseball?” Kennedy smirks amused with my playfulness.
“Right about the same time that you started dancing, I suppose. I can’t remember ever not playing. It’s just something that I’ve always done.” I explain hoping that she will leave it at that. The real reason why I play is too deep of a conversation to have with a girl who is practically a stranger.
Kennedy sits beside me moving the remote from one hand to the other. It is a nervous tick. I can’t hold back my grin. If she only knew that I am just as nervous as she is sitting next to her. How do you go from barely speaking to each other to whatever this is?
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asks in a low sweet tone. I can’t force my eyes away from her bottom lip that she can’t stop biting down on. Must be another nervous tick of hers.
“You seem anxious.” I observe sitting up from the pillow that’s resting behind my back.
Kennedy contemplates my observation. “This isn’t going to be easy, is it? What I mean is what happens at school tomorrow? You say were friends, but are we really? We’ll just go back to being strangers who only notice each other in passing, right?”
“So you’ve noticed me, huh?” I laugh trying to lighten the mood. Secretly, I am hoping she has noticed me as twisted as that is.
Now would be the time to be honest…
“I’m not going to promise you anything. I’m not sure that I can keep any promise to you. I’m going to slip up, be an ass to you because I don’t know how to be friends to someone like you,” I explain honestly. After hearing the way it sounds coming out of my mouth and the way Kennedy is questionably staring at me, I realize my slip up.
“Someone like me...?” Kennedy questions my words obviously irritated how I shoved her into a category that she is unaware of. She’s disappointed.
You’re an ass hat.
“You’re better than me,” I blurt out. “I’ve never done anything to deserve you being nice to me, but still here you sit acting as if we have been friends forever. I’m an asshole, Kennedy. I don’t treat girls the way that they deserve to be treated. What does that say about me? All of the girls that hang around me I have probably slept with,” I answer with full honesty.
I don’t know what it is about this girl, but Kennedy makes me want to be honest. Don’t tell anyone I am admitting this. Not like anyone would believe you. Things are coming out of my mouth and I am thinking things that I don’t understand but I know they are the truth. No one holds me accountable for the way I treat people, but as Kennedy’s big blue eyes look up at me I feel the need to rectify my past. She is far too good of a person to be around. I’m being pulled to her whether I deserve to or not.
“Surely you’ve had friends that are girls?” she smiles innocently at me. This time it makes it up to her eyes. I’d like to believe she is humoring me knowing what my reputation is like. I have a feeling she is being serious by the way her eyes dance across my face trying to figure out what I can’t say out loud to her.
“In elementary school I guess I did when all I cared about was video games and hanging out with my friends. As soon as I hit a certain age, it was all purely based on sex,” I pause to see her reaction. She’s holding her breath. “Once I made it on varsity as a freshman, girls started throwing themselves at me. Being in a relationship was and is the furthest thing from my mind. I know that it is all based on physical attraction. I’ve never had any reason to keep friendships with girls.” Kennedy accepted this answer and changes the subject quicker than you can imagine.