When Our Worlds Collide (Our Worlds #1)(114)

I don’t think I can do this.

The nurse, a petite middle aged lady with dark brown hair pulled into a ponytail, flings the curtain open exposing Kennedy. She’s sitting up in her bed halfway. She’s taking a sip of water through a straw. I stand watching her until she looks up to see me. Recognition passes through her eyes. She already knows what I’m thinking. Knowing Kennedy she won’t go easy on me.

“You can come in, you know. Don’t have to stand in the hallway looking all distraught,” Kennedy forces a smile. It doesn’t quite make it to her eyes. Just like typical Kennedy, she’s more worried about how I feel than how she’s doing. I don’t deserve her.

You’re just now figuring this out?

Jackass.

Closing the distance between us I make my way towards the side of her bed. Grabbing the chair sitting beside the bed to take a seat, I reach for her hand. Not being able to stop myself I place my head down onto our mingled hands before I start to cry.

I wasn’t positive how I would feel when I saw her, but now I know.

I love her.

To see what he did to her makes me murderous. I’d gladly spend the rest of my life behind bars for the tenth of revenge that Craig deserves.

“Say something,” I say softly. Kennedy reaches over rubbing her hand over my head. She plays with my hair just like she used to when I’m upset. My head tilts up. I look at her shaking my head. “I should be comforting you, not the other way around.”

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, Graham?” Kennedy asks still holding my hand. She already knows the answer. She always knows what I’m thinking and feeling before I even know myself.

“You already know, babe.”

She smiles at me. This one’s real and makes it to her eyes.

Thank the lord. I thought I’d never see that again.

“I want to hear the words from you. Assuming’s never a good thing to do.”

I rub my hand over my face trying to buy myself a few moments to get my thoughts together. I don’t know what I plan on saying to her. I look up to see her face and I instantly know what I need to do. I know what I need to say to make this all better.

“This is my fault and before you interrupt me and argue with me, let me finish. This is my fault because I couldn’t see past my own problems to realize that what you did for me was for my own good. You did something that I didn’t have enough courage to do. You stood up for me when I couldn’t. That speaks volume about you. You have such a big heart, Ken. Sometimes it’s unbearable at the immensity of it. You don’t deserve the things that have happened to you this year. I think we both can agree that those things would have never happened if I wasn’t in your life,” I explain calmly wiping a tear from my cheek.

I’m too busy looking at my hands, too worried that I will talk myself out of this if I dare to look in her eyes. She has tears rolling down her face when I make the mistake of looking up. I think she knows what’s coming.

I continue with a sigh. “It all started with the accident, an accident that should have never happened and only did because I was being reckless. I thought I was invincible because I’m Graham Black. All-star baseball player. That night I learned that I wasn’t. The things and the people that I love aren’t either and it seems that all of my choices and my actions have only caused you pain. I can’t live with myself knowing that I did this to you. I know that you’d be better off without me. That’s what I’m going to give you.”

Kennedy rubs her eyes of the loose tears sniffling. I know I’m breaking her heart. I’m breaking mine. She has a lot going on and the last thing she needs is me coming in and turning her world upside down again. I need to do it now. If I don’t I know that being near her any longer will make it impossible. I’ll change my mind and I can’t afford to have that happen. Ruining Kennedy’s life isn’t something that I’m willing to do. I’ve already done enough.

“Graham…” Kennedy’s voice is stern and full of confusion.

“I love you, Kennedy. I always have ever since I saw you dance. I should have known that I wasn’t going to be good for you then, but my feelings won out. I couldn’t stand to not be around you. I was selfish to take you. You saw the real me, the one that’s worthy of a girl like you. I don’t want to be the type of guy that repeatedly hurts the person he loves, so I’m not going to be that guy.” I stand from the chair leaning over to kiss her. Her lips cut and there’s a few stitches that rub against mine.

When I turn to leave the room, I hear Kennedy whisper my name like a prayer. Not knowing whether I should leave without looking back or turn to face her one more time before leaving. The latter wins and she’s thankful. Her frown turns into a smile. It’s a faint one, but it’s there.

“Graham, I know why you are saying the things you are and you’re going to do the things you do. You need to know something. Nothing in my life has been your fault. All the good times outweigh the bad and all of the good times are consumed by you,” Kennedy brushes away another tear as I stand motionless staring into her bottomless blue eyes. “You changed me in the best way possible. You may not believe that and I’m not expecting you to, but I will never take back the things that happened. They brought you to me. You are exactly who I believe you are. One day you will realize that.”