We Begin at the End(20)
8
“SOMETIMES I THINK SHE HATES me.”
Walk glanced at Star but she did not look back. There was a calm to her that morning, he knew it would not last.
“She’s a teenager.”
“You really believe that’s all it is, Walk? I don’t need bullshit, not from you.”
As they passed Brandon Rock’s place Walk saw the drapes move, and then Brandon was out. He fought the limp, mouth tight as he crossed the yard. Walk stalled a little and Star sighed.
“Morning.” Brandon smiled at Star.
“You woke half the street again, Brandon. You best fix that engine or Duchess will come out and do it for you.”
“That’s a 1967—”
“I know what car it is.Your father’s car, same car you’ve been working on for the past twenty years. I even saw you talking about the fucking thing in the local newspaper.”
The spread had been crude, a local lives spot buried near the classifieds. Brandon talked pistons for half a page then lay across the hood, hair feathered, pouting lips. Duchess had defaced their copy with a marker then taped it to Brandon’s front gate.
“It’ll be fixed up in time for July 4th. So I was wondering if you wanted to head up to Clearwater Cove. I could make us a picnic. Twinkies, right. You like Twinkies. Pineapple chicken. I even got a fondue pot.” He carried his dumbbell, curling, the veins in his right arm popping.
“I don’t want to date you, Brandon. You’ve been asking me out since high school and it’s getting tired.”
“You know one of these days I’ll just give up on you, Star.”
“Can I have that in writing?”
She took Walk’s arm, strolled on.
“He still thinks we’re in high school,” Star said.
“And he’s still sore about losing you to Vincent.”
When they reached the end of Ivy Ranch Road he looked back, and saw Brandon Rock still standing there, staring after them.
They walked, a weekly ritual that had gone on near a decade. Walk stopped by on a Monday morning and made sure Star got out of the house and talked. It wasn’t much, but sometimes he thought that routine was good for her. If she wouldn’t talk to a shrink, she could talk to him.
“So, how is he?”
“He’s alright.”
She squinted. “What the fuck does that mean, Walk? Alright. Give me something.”
“I heard. About what happened the other night.”
“My hero, right. I had it under control. I don’t need Vincent fucking King showing up to fight my battles.”
“He used to fight all of our battles. Remember when the Johnson boy thought I stole his bike.”
Star laughed. “Like you’d steal anything.”
“He was big.”
“Not big enough to take Vincent. I liked that about him. He was tough, but only we saw beneath it. Sissy used to love him. We’d be on the couch and she’d come and jam in between us. He spent time with her, you know. Took her drawings home and kept them.”
“I remember.”
“You remember everything, Walk.”
“Why’d you let him round? Darke. He’s not right.”
“It’s nothing, not what you think. I got pissed with him. I started it. It’s forgotten. I’m pulling a shift at the club tonight.”
At the corner of Sunset he stalled a little, and she glanced past him at the King house. He let her lead, and she led them away and down toward the beach. Cars passed, then an SUV. He saw it was Ed Tallow, raised a hand but Ed’s eyes didn’t stray from Star as he passed.
Walk loosened his tie as Star kicked off her sandals and stepped onto the hot sand. He followed, his shoes filling as she raced toward the water, heels kicking up as they burned. She stopped ankle deep and laughed as he plodded his way to her.
They strolled the line.
“I know I’m failing, Walk.”
“You’re not—”
“I know I’m fucking up the one thing I’m supposed to be good at.”
“Duchess loves you. She’s a handful, but I see the way she looks out for you. And Robin—”
“Robin’s easy. He’s all … he’s the best of me. He’s a prince.”
They sat in the sand.
“Thirty years, Walk. And then bam, just back into the town you left behind. I thought about him, too much I thought about him over the years. And I know you liked that, you wanted to talk about him like we’re all the same people.”
He felt the heat then, the sweat across his back. “You do this, get drunk or high and nearly die, and then we walk and talk and nothing much changes.”
“You were cursed with pathological honesty, Walk. You carry weight you don’t even see. It’s not me who Duchess looks up to, it’s you.”
“No, it’s not—”
“You remind her of everything good. You are the man in her life, the person that doesn’t lie or cheat or fuck people over. She doesn’t say it, but she needs you. And you can’t ever let her down, because that’d be like turning out the light.”
“You’ll be alright. You can be that person for her.”
She tilled the sand, scooped it and let it run through her fingers. “What do I do? How do I stop being me?”