We Begin at the End(110)
She wondered if he would remember, all they had been through. She knew there was a good chance he would not, not the detail. He was young enough to be anyone. The world was his. He was a prince, and, finally, she understood why.
She was not a girl that cried, but right then tears fell as she allowed the dam to break.
She cried for everything she had lost, and everything he had found.
Duchess pressed her palm to the glass, and said goodbye to her brother.
49
DUCHESS TOOK TO HER BEDROOM for the next few days.
Dolly knew to give her time, space, room to breathe, despite the worry. She left her meals outside the door, checked in only once, to ask if she’d like help tending the gray that morning. Inside she found Duchess at her small desk, sunlight on her as she wrote.
Monday and Duchess walked into class with Thomas Noble.
“Did you finish?” he said.
“Yeah.”
It had been a free assignment, a report of their choosing. She watched kids stand at the front and speak of things so varied as Jefferson and football, summer vacation and how to track a whitetail.
When the teacher called her, Duchess walked to the front of the class, fixed her paper to the board and swallowed down her nerves. She shoved her hands deep in her pockets and stood before her family tree.
Complete.
She felt all the eyes on her as she glanced at Thomas Noble, who smiled and motioned for her to start.
Duchess cleared her throat, turned to the front and began.
She led with her father, the outlaw, Vincent King.
Acknowledgments
Katherine Armstrong, for a flawless edit. Thank you for putting up with me, for running up hills with me, for making me a better writer and for helping me tell this story. It’s infinitely better because of you.
Victoria, for loving me even when I tried to grow a beard. Never have the words ‘Turn out the lights and no kissing’ been uttered with such tenderness.
Charlie and George, for driving me mad, keeping me sane, and everything in between. I do it all for you.
Liz Barnsley, my first and last reader, my friend, my spirit guide. We are proof that sometimes the blind lead the blind somewhere very special.
My family, who are always there. Take that how you will.
Cathryn Summerhayes, officially the best agent in the world. Thank you for always fighting for me, you’re scarily good at it.
Silé Edwards, for helping me bag Patterson. That bed of money is ours.
Katie McGowan, Luke Speed and everyone at Curtis Brown. Obviously book people are the best people, but with you I feel I’m with the best of the best.
All at Bonnier. Thank you for feigning indifference when I call into the office, I know you do it just to keep me grounded.
Nico Poilblanc, sales god, love god, all round beautiful man. Thank you for making people buy my books. I really hope the 200 signatures all match. I did my wrist exercises with you in mind.
Nick Stearn, for once again making earth-shattering cover love to me.
Jennie Rothwell, the most talented (and famous) Jennifer in the world. There’s no one I’d rather dress as a book and run 26.2 miles with.
Kate Parkin, for paying for my exquisite words. Please don’t deduct for those C-bombs.
Francesca Russell, for pimping me out with such grace and style. No one rocks a fur coat and cane quite like you.
Stephen Dumughn, for totally getting this book. And also for teaching me dazzling marketing spiel. We need to sit down and cultivate our vertical synergies very soon.
Jon Appleton, for copyedit brilliance. Any mistakes are, of course, his.
Siobhan O’Neill. Always.
I once stood on a stage and forgot to thank Maxim and the CWA judges. I’m remedying that now. Thank you for backing the longshot.
The book blogging community, I would love to name you all here but feel certain I’d leave someone out. I want you to know how much you have helped me, you are the lifeblood of the industry and I look forward to kissing each of you at future events. No tongues, Fenton. Sorry.
My fellow author friends, there are too many of you to list, and for that I will always be grateful.
We Begin at the End
Reading Group Questions
Duchess says to Walk, “There’s always a man. Whenever anything fucked up happens in the world, there’s always a man.” (Here) Later, Duchess thinks about Darke: “She knew what men could do, all of them, capability was enough.” (Here) What do you make of the portrayal of each gender in this book? Are men or women worse in this novel, or might they be equally good or bad?
Star tells her daughter, “Selfless acts, Duchess. They’re what make you a good person.” (Here), yet she seems to be entirely selfish in many of her actions. Why do you think this is? Do you agree with Star? What makes a good person good?
Hal asks Duchess, “If the good stand by idle, are they still good?” (Here) What do you think? Are there any ostensibly good characters in this novel who lose their goodness by standing by?
Hal tells Duchess: “I am a constant disappointment to myself.” (Here) Why do you think he feels this way? What could he have done differently in his life? Is self-disappointment what makes people decent?
Considering Walk’s intervention, Duchess thinks: “… sometimes adults thought watching out meant doing shit that’d lead to the kind of consequences that rippled far from them.” (Here) In this novel, are good intentions a dangerous thing?