Watching(7)

“I miss you.” She says softly. I turn away from her.

I can’t hear her say that to me.

“Well, you made your choice.” I feel her hands glide up my back to around my front, her hands palming my breasts.

“I really have missed you, Angel. Your touch, the way you made me scream.” She breathes in my ear. Her hands glide down until she reaches my thighs, lifting up my dress until I feel her fingers stroke my aching pussy.

“Don’t,” I say in barely a whisper.

“I need you to want me again. I need you.” I feel her breath against my neck. I turn and when I face her, her lips go on mine in a wanting kiss. The kiss is hard and passionate. She pushes me to the far wall, pressing her body against mine, grinding herself against me. “I knew you still wanted me.” I feel her smile against my lips.

The fog clears and I push her gently away from me. “Is that what this was? To see if I still want you?” I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand.

“You know it wasn’t.” She bites her lip.

“What would Darryl think if he knew you were here kissing me?” I say my voice starting to raise. She looks to the ground then away from me.

“He broke up with you.” I shake my head. She only wanted me now because he doesn’t want her. I’m no one’s second best. “Why?” I ask.

“He wanted other women to watch and join in, but after a while, he didn’t just need me, as long as he had someone in his bed and someone watching, he didn’t care who it was” I hear the sadness in her voice.

“I’m sorry to hear that. You will find someone else.” I start to head to the door but she grabs my hand pulling me towards her.

“I am sorry about how I treated you, I just got paranoid and insecure.” She pleads with me.

“That is what hurt the most. You know I didn’t want him, I never wanted him. It was you. Always you, but because of how he felt you blamed me.”

“I know.” She whispers.

“I won’t be the person to make you feel better about yourself. I’m not a rebound and I’m no one’s second choice.” I walk away from her, heading to the bar needing a few shots down me.

My whole body is shaking.

I still want her.

But I know she is no good for me.

I am ordering six shots of tequila when I notice Hilary and Lewis walk up to me in the corner of my eye, I put on a smile facing them.

“I love tequila,” Hilary says and I pass them two each.

“Me too.” I skip the salt and lime and just down them, right after the other.

“Wow, I couldn’t do that.” I watch as they both do their salt, shot and lemon.

“Depends on what mood I’m in.” I give her a wink and I see her blush again.

“Well, Hil was telling me about what you like doing behind closed doors,” Lewis says before clearing his throat. I look to Hilary who is watching me.

“Yeah, I didn’t mean to be forward, she asked me a question and I answered.”

“No, it's fine, it’s just um.” He rubs the back of his neck. “We have wanted to spice up our love life and because you just watch.” He pauses looking at her. “We would like you to watch us if that’s okay with you?”

I look to them both and they look a little unsure. I want my couples to want to do it. Each of them. “I want you both to want it. It won’t work if you both aren’t one hundred percent sure.”

“We are,” Hilary says confidently.

“Okay. Shall we go now?” They look to one another and nod. Hilary takes my hand as Lewis takes the other. We head outside and I could feel eyes on me, I turn to see Hope watching us. I quickly look away and shake her out of my head.

She can’t give me what I want.

Not anymore.

I walk with them as we head to a cab and when we get inside the whole trip is filled with silence. I don’t say a word as I know a thousand thoughts will be running through their heads.

When we get to their place, we all take a seat in the spacious living room. I look around the space, seeing how clean and well-kept the place is. Walls full with photos of them, flowers on the window sills. It’s very homey.

“What now?” Hilary asks shakily.

“We go upstairs, I will sit in the far corner and you both pretend I’m not there.” She nods and then stands, I stand with her. “Only if you’re sure.”

“I am, just a little nervous.”

“Don’t be.” I give her hand a squeeze and I step back as I watch them head up the stairs, I follow close behind until we reach their room. They head to the bed while I grab a seat near the desk taking it to the far corner. They both look at me and then to the other.

They start off by kissing, which I know is a comfortable move. People kiss in public all the time, so I know this will be easier for them both. He cups her cheeks, then his hands leave her face as he starts to lift up her green and white summer dress, once off leaving her in her white bra and panties he continues to kiss her once again.

Her hands fumble with his trouser buttons until they fall around his ankles and he steps out of them, his lips never leaving hers. Her hands go around his neck pulling him towards her. I can hear their breathing coming in faster.

I try and stay quiet, watching each movement they make.