Vistaria Has Fallen (The Vistaria Affair/Vistaria Has Fallen #1)(51)

The low growl came again, close by. She stiffened.

“It’s all right,” Nick said by her ear. “She’s nosing around outside. It’s a restless night for everyone.”

“You still can’t sleep?”

“I’ve slept. Sleeping is waste of time when I have you in my arms. I feel I must make the most of the time I have.”

“You’ve been watching me?”

“And thinking, yes.”

She turned all the way over to face him. The moonlight illuminated his face while his eyes were shadowed.

“Black thoughts,” she whispered.

He was silent for a long moment. “Yes,” he said at last, his voice soft.

“Tell me,” she coaxed.

He sighed. “My deepest fear is that Vistaria will be lost. The balance here is so precarious and there are so many wrong turns any one of us could make. That one wrong turn might be all that is needed to destroy the balance.”

“Is that why you worry so much?”

“It’s not worry that distracts me.” He touched her cheek. “If it was simply worry, then I would not have been such a poor host this evening.”

“What is it, then?”

“The weighing of decisions, of actions. All one of them must be considered. I must guess, estimate and measure the possible consequences.”

“I was one of those decisions, wasn’t I?”

Again, he sighed. “Bringing you here was selfish. I gave it no more thought beyond what I wanted. I did not consider the risks.”

“Tonight, you wonder what the price will be for that indulgence.”

“A little, yes.” His hand came to rest on her waist, heavy and warm. “Only a little, though. I will not regret this and neither should you.”

She could hear the tightness in his voice. Fear? “You don’t sound very convincing, Nick.”

His silence throbbed between them, speaking of the tension within him.

Calli brushed her fingers across his cheek and kissed him. She did not speak of what was on her mind. The wish she hid from him had been growing all evening, shaping itself in her mind. She stored the impression of his hot body against hers. She would need such memories later, when she returned home.

“Sleep,” she whispered and kissed his temple.

She snuggled up against him, threading her arm under his and over his torso, to rest her hand against his heart. He picked up her hand, kissed her fingers. She sensed he intended to return her hand to where it had been resting. The motion was not completed. His hand grew heavy and dropped away from hers.

He slept.

*

A little later, she roused from a light slumber. Nick still lay beside her. She couldn’t tell if he slept or not. At her movement, his hand sought hers and brought it to his lips. This time he completed the act. His lips touch the back of her hand.

“That’s very Vistarian,” she said. “I like it.”

“I am Vistarian despite my coloring. Sometimes I think I am more Vistarian than my brother who has a fondness for all things American.” The tension and worry had left his voice. He simply observed a fact now.

“You mean Jose? Does he know about me, Nick? Does anyone?”

“Duardo and Minerva do.”

“My uncle suspects, I think.”

“A great many people have suspicions. Suspicion comes easily to Vistarians these days. Truth is in short supply.”

“You say you love Vistaria, yet you speak of the people so callously sometimes.”

“Love always includes acceptance of weaknesses, haven’t you noticed? I know Vistaria and her people too well and love them too much to ignore their weaknesses. Besides, in a country this small where everyone knows a little of everyone else’s affairs, suspicion sprouts easily.”

“Cynic.”

“Realist,” he corrected.

“I’m the realist. You’re the...” She cast about for the right word. The only one that came to her was savior and she fell silent, confused. Sadness touched her. His talk of love had released her awareness and opened her perceptions. She couldn’t speak or find the strength to pretend nothing had changed in the last second or two.

“I’m the what?” he asked. “The doomed romantic?”

She found her voice. “Now you’re being cynical again,” she teased, pleased with the casual tone that emerged. It hid her momentary confusion and welling sorrow. “Try to sleep.”

“Para usted, mi dama fuerte, yo trataré,” he murmured.

Calli knew enough Spanish to translate that. For you, my strong lady, I will try.

She turned away from him and lay her head back on her pillow, letting the sadness that had washed over her dominate her mind.

For only now she recognized she was the doomed romantic. Yes, Nick had coaxed that side of her to re-bud and bloom and now she faced an awful truth. She loved him. Within the next day, or perhaps two if she was lucky, he would say goodbye and they would never again lie like this together.

La dama fuerte, she mentally whispered. Hold it together, Calli. Walk away with your chin up. That’s the bargain you struck, and now you must live with it.





Chapter Twelve


The next day Calli found out what a slice farm was.