Vistaria Has Fallen (The Vistaria Affair/Vistaria Has Fallen #1)(21)

That left one remaining question. Why had he come over to the table tonight?

If she hurried back, would he still be there? Afraid, she raced from the room. He would have sensed her dismissal. He would not need it repeated. He would leave as quickly as politeness would allow. She had to get back there.

Halfway down, she saw him. He stood next to the green swags, looking out at the view. She knew he waited for her. Her heart hammering and her body on high alert, she descended the rest of the stairs. Calli grew aware of her dress, the sheer black stockings and was proud of her appearance. She was glad he had seen her like this.

She stepped onto the landing and stood beside him, as if they shared the view. The skin on her shoulder prickled at the nearness of his arm, even though they did not touch.

“Why did you come over to our table?”

“Did you think I could stay away? With you looking like that? I am a man, Calli, not a machine. Your appearance tonight... A man has only to look at you to know he should shower you with every sensual pleasure he can produce, that the rewards for such efforts would be ecstasy beyond his wildest dreams.”

A shiver wracked her. Peter had not managed to be even remotely poetic, while Nicolás had responded. She remembered Minnie’s advice and realized that Nicolás understood the difference.

“He’s not worthy, Calli,” he whispered.

“He will do.” She would not tell him she had changed her mind about seducing Peter. There was no point.

“I assumed you would have better taste. He’s a boy and he cannot dance.”

“And you can?”

“Better than he.”

“Yet he took me out on the dance floor, while you will not dare. Who is more the man?”

He reached out to grip the velvet curtain beside him and crushed it in his fist. “It is not lack of courage that prevents me.”

“You made it clear last night that my life is none of your business.”

In the reflection on the window, she saw his head drop, as if he didn’t like the fact any more than she. “So I did,” he agreed, his voice low.

“Are you recanting?” Her voice was barely above a whisper. Her heart hurt as it pounded against her chest.

His grip on the velvet tightened. “I can’t,” he growled.

The exquisite tension in her subsided, like air from a tire. “I know,” she agreed. All the pride, the excitement, fled. “I have to get back to Peter. He’ll be wondering—”

Nick’s arm wrapped around her waist as she turned to go. She inhaled sharply as he pulled her up against him and held her with her back to him, his arm an iron band around her.

“Not yet,” he said, his voice strained.

Heat. Solid, immoveable strength. The hard length of his body registered along hers. His hand cupped her hip.

Calli closed her eyes against the ferocious rush of undiluted desire. She trembled. “Don’t,” she whispered.

He drew breath. She could hear it and felt his chest expand against her shoulders. He did not speak.

She opened her eyes. In the reflection on the window she saw his other hand come up to her bare shoulder and hover there, as if he fought himself.

She held her breath, the skin over her shoulder tingling, all nerves stretched to their limits, anticipating his touch. Her thoughts paused, her whole body stilled. Waiting.

It was not a caress she received. His hand curled over her shoulder and she realized that he trembled, too. The warm fingers settled, as if by anchoring them so firmly he could resist moving it further. He let out his breath, stirring the curls by her ear and grew still. His eyes closed.

Yes, he battled himself.

“There is a difference in you tonight,” he said. “More than just the dress.”

“I haven’t changed.”

“You have...let go. What has happened, to make that difference?”

She thought of the stolen moment she had seen between Duardo and Minnie. “I have realized that some men will take what they want. You will not. I must find someone who will.”

He remained quiet for a long moment. “If it is simply sex you seek,” he said at last, “then you will not have far to look. Do you think Peter will appreciate what he has got? Do you think he will be able to satisfy you beyond crude, coarse coupling?”

He had spoken her fears aloud. She sighed. “I don’t know.”

“I do know. Why must you do this? You did not, in Montana. I know that as surely as I know my own hand. The woman I see tonight, she does not normally show her face.”

“I, too, am not a machine. You cannot stir these feelings in me, stoke them and then expect me to remain untouched. I dream of you, Nick. Everywhere here I see sensuality and lust and know I will never have those moments with you that I dreamed of. I will take what I can.”

“Not with him, Calli.” His voice held a note of pleading.

“You will not. He will.”

She felt him shake his head, even as his reflection made the same movement in the glass. “I could fill your mind so you cannot think of another man. So idea of taking another would be as remote and alien to you as the surface of Mars.”

“Arrogance,” she breathed.

“Knowledge,” he corrected. “I can feel you trembling and I know how you have drugged me so I cannot sleep. All I must do is stamp myself upon you a little more and I know you will not think of another, for you are not like that.”