Vicious Prince (Royal Elite #5)(71)

“One less piece of scum in the world,” Agnus says without lifting his head from his tablet.

“That’s insensitive,” Dad tells him.

“The woman abused her own children — that’s what’s insensitive,” Agnus says in his usual cool tone.

“Agnus,” Dad warns.

“He’s right,” I say, not wanting them to fight because of this. It’s not like I wanted to find her for a noble cause, or like I wanted the engagement with Ronan for the reasons I made everyone believe.

I’m the worst scum.

I guess that’s what happens when you’re born the daughter of a whore.

After wishing them a great rest of the night, I leave Agnus and Dad’s office. I come to a screeching halt at the door. Knox stands there, feet crossed at the ankles as he leans against the wall. It’s then I realise I didn’t close the door earlier and my brother probably heard the whole thing.

I make sure to shut the door this time before I speak. “How much did you hear?”

“I already knew about Mum.”

“Y-You did?”

“I wish I was detached like you.” There’s pain in his voice, and I recognise it without struggling to. Knox’s pain was the only pain I could feel — until Ronan.

“Knox…”

“I searched for her when we were in Birmingham and — wait for it — I went back to that brothel, when I was maybe fifteen. When they told me she overdosed and died, do you know what I did?”

I approach him slowly, shaking my head.

“I cried so hard I thought I would never stop crying.” He laughs, rubbing the back of his nape, but it’s forced. “Pathetic, isn’t it, T?”

“No. She was our only family.”

“She was the whore who let those fuckers in while we were sleeping and—”

I slam a hand on his mouth, cutting him off. I don’t want to hear it. I’m so close to reliving it, and that’s never good.

He removes my hand gently. “Point is, we’re each other’s family. Dad and Agnus are our family. I shouldn’t have cried for that whore, and that’s when I realised I wasn’t crying for her. I was merely mourning our childhood and how abnormally we grew up because of her. It’s okay to cry, T. It purges more than those runs.”

“Thank you, Knox. I needed that today.”

“Happy freedom day.” He grins.

On this day eleven years ago, Knox and I broke the chains. We ran and never looked back.

We were kids, but we earned our freedom. We saw an out, so we took it. If we’d stayed there, I would’ve become like my mum and Knox would’ve probably killed himself or gotten into drugs and overdosed like a certain mother.

We’ve always saved ourselves, and that will continue.

He glares at me. “For the record, tell anyone I cried and I’ll murder you.”

“Depends on how you act.”

“I won’t be your bitch, sis.” He switches to his overdramatic tone. “Remember, I came out first.”

“Which means you cried first, right?”

“You little bugger.” He puts me in a headlock, and I stare up at him with a smile.

He softens almost immediately, letting me go as awe fills his features. “You’re…smiling.”

“You’re one of the few who gets to see it, so engrave it somewhere.”

“Ronan is rubbing off on you, isn’t he?”

“It’s not about him.”

“Yeah, right, could’ve fooled me.” He raises an eyebrow. “I was going to kick him out of our lives until I saw you with him. You’ve never been at ease with someone like you are with Ronan. Not even with me — and I hate it, by the way. I’m supposed to be your favourite.”

“You are.” My chest aches, but I mutter, “I’m breaking it off with him.”

“Why?”

Ugh. Why do he and Agnus have to ask that question? Would it be the end of the world if they didn’t know?

“Can’t you see it? Ronan and I couldn’t be any more opposite.”

Lie. We share more than the world will ever know, but I’m not telling Knox that.

“And yet you make it work. He’s been asking about you every time he sees me. He’s not doing well, T.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know. He’s distracted at practice and hasn’t been throwing his usual jokes.”

He’ll move on. Ronan is the strongest, most admirable person I know.

He called me strong, but he’s way stronger than me.

I hid and shunned people. He slammed straight into them.

And then into me.

And now, we’re here.

And we shouldn’t be here.

After saying goodnight, I retreat to my room and slide down the door after I close it.

Something burns in my chest, and it…God, it hurts.

It hurts so much knowing what I’ll do to him. That’s why I’ve been delaying it, trying to talk my brain out of it.

Maybe I can live without revenge.

Maybe…

The little girl with black hair and soulless eyes appears in front of me. Silent tears fall down her cheeks, but she’s not speaking. She’s not doing anything.