Vicious Prince (Royal Elite #5)(65)

My thighs shake when he brings me down on his dick, sheathing himself whole inside me. My eyes roll to the back of my head as he fills me to the brim.

Oh. God.

“Fuck, belle. You feel so good and tight and fucking right.” With my breasts in his face, his breaths tickle my sensitive skin when he speaks.

I’m about to thrust them more, demanding attention, but Ronan doesn’t need that. His mouth latches onto a nipple, making me moan then whimper as he runs his tongue over it. He pounds with his hips from the bottom, driving into me deep but slow. It’s like he wants to feel me, to engrave me in his memory.

And that, the fact that he’s memorising me instead of the usual rough pounding, flutters my heart.

It’s a strange type of sensation, something that makes my own hips jerk in reaction.

My fingers dig into the material of his jacket as I go up and down his length with a pace that matches his.

He releases my nipple with a pop and stares up at me with that gleam in his eyes — the gleam I lost a few minutes ago, the gleam that comes from pain and trauma. Deep-seated trauma.

I seal my mouth to his.

His lips claim mine in a raw passionate kiss that robs me of breaths, thoughts, and logic. It’s almost as if I never existed until this moment.

When I’m joined with him this way in all senses of the word, it’s as if nothing else is here with us.

No broken parts, no nightmares, no wars to wage.

But that’s a lie, isn’t it?

I can pretend it’ll never happen, but it will.

I can pretend I won’t hurt him, but I will.

Sooner or later, it will come to pass.

It fucking will.

That thought makes me hug him closer and kiss him harder and faster, committing him to memory, taking him all with me.

For the first time in my life, I have doubts. I’ve plotted this for so long, but now, those doubts won’t leave me alone.

“Thank you for existing, ma belle,” he whispers against my mouth, and I come then.

I fall willingly, knowing there’s nothing that will hold me.

But I’m wrong, there is something — or rather someone.

Ronan’s hands surround me like a vice as he pounds into me some more before warmth fills my walls then drips between my thighs.

Oh God.

He grabs my nape with a strong palm and drags me closer so he rests his forehead against mine. We’re breathing each other’s air, but it almost feels like it’s not enough — like I’ll never get enough.

And that’s dangerous.

No — it’s more than dangerous. In my case, it’s fucking deadly.

He’s an Astor. So what if he could be Eduard’s son, not Edric’s? He’s still an Astor.

And the problem is, the more time I spend with him, the more that fact blurs. Everything blurs, and he’s the only thing remaining.

Ronan.

Just Ronan.

My chest squeezes at the thought. I don’t want him to be just Ronan. He can’t be just Ronan.

What have I done?

This is what happens when you’re addicted. You don’t realise the heights of your addiction until it’s too late, until it’s the only thing flowing in your veins and you can’t get rid of it unless you fucking bleed out.

I can’t bleed out.

I’ve bled out before.

Now, it’s his turn, not mine.

I push off Ronan and scramble to the passenger seat. My sweaty stiff fingers fumble for my dress and then pull it over my head, ignoring the remnants of the stupid bunny outfit.

Just a few breaths. Just a few. If I do that, I’ll be able to control whatever jumbled mess is going through me. I’ll ignore the feelings and everything that comes with them.

“What are you doing?” Ronan tucks himself in, appearing nonchalant, but his jaw ticks.

“Nothing.”

“Don’t give me that. You’re putting up your walls. Why the fuck are you putting up your walls, Teal?”

God. Damn. It.

How could I be so careless as to allow him to recognise that?

Even Knox doesn’t notice it as much anymore. I’ve perfected it. I’ve become a pro at it.

This is wrong. This can’t go on.

“I’ll give you what you want.” I face him with a slight smile.

“What I want?”

“I’ll talk to Edric and end it.”

“End it,” he repeats, as if he’s getting a feel for the words.

“Yes. Isn’t that what you always wanted? For the engagement to end?”

“Fuck that, Teal.”

“Well, isn’t it? You threatened me about it before.”

“The keyword being before. Have I threatened you with it in recent memory?”

“In that case, I’m the one who wants to end it.” After all, the reason I wanted this is because of Dad, and he signed a binding contract with Edric a few days ago.

I’ve been on the verge of doing it myself since then, but I always kept coming back to Ronan for more.

One more time, I told myself. Just one more night in his arms.

I should’ve known better. That’s how all addicts act.

“You want to what?” he snaps.

“It was a phase anyway.” I nearly slap my mouth after I say the word phase.