Until You Loved Me (Silver Springs #3)(82)
Go home, stay and try to keep the relationship platonic, or stay and return to Hudson’s bed?
Returning to Hudson’s bed was by far the most tempting option. Physically they were perfect together. She craved his touch, craved the opportunity to hold him as she had last night.
Problem was, she wanted more than his body. She wanted his heart—and he wasn’t going to give that up easily.
*
The next six weeks or so were bittersweet for Hudson. Despite the fact that he’d called off Samuel Jones, the private investigator had sent an email, along with his final bill, to say that he was now quite certain he had indeed solved the mystery surrounding Hudson’s abandonment. Obviously Jones had continued to pursue what he’d found. He’d even sent Hudson a DNA kit and told him that if he ever wanted to be sure, he should take the test. He also said he’d take care of getting a sample for comparison.
There were times when Hudson was tempted to move forward with that test. He wouldn’t have hired a private investigator if he hadn’t been dying to know who he was and where he came from. But not knowing was better than what Jones had dug up—except now that Jones had said what he’d said, Hudson wondered what he was really saving himself by not taking the test. Although he hadn’t allowed the PI to give him any names or other specific details, the situation had been explained to him in general terms, and that was enough to tell him he didn’t want to learn any more. Still, he couldn’t help staring at that damn DNA kit, which he’d stuck in his medicine cabinet beside the mirror, every day while he shaved.
Maybe he would’ve been able to throw it out or send in a sample by now—do something—if he wasn’t so preoccupied with Ellie. But she was driving him crazy. Since that night when he’d said he wanted only one thing, they’d spent a lot of time together watching movies, making dinner, playing billiards (he’d been teaching her), preparing the room next to hers as a nursery, even working out together. But she hadn’t returned to his bed, and he couldn’t figure out why. If he tried to touch her, she just sort of...slid away from him.
Was she worried about the weight gain and the other changes in her body? Was she afraid to let him see her now that she was showing? Because he wasn’t put off by that at all. He was so captivated by the idea of his child growing inside her that, if anything, the pregnancy made her more attractive to him, not less. He wanted to hold her again, touch her, experience the wonder of creating a new life.
He planned to talk to her, to see why she’d backed away from him sexually, but everything was going so well otherwise, he’d been postponing that discussion for fear it might cause the relationship to take a turn for the worse. He liked having her around, even if she wasn’t sleeping with him. That was the surprising thing. And he was hesitant to put her on the spot, since there was always the possibility that her avoidance of anything physical had nothing to do with the changes in her body. She could’ve decided that she wouldn’t give him the opportunity to “use” her again—to punish him for what he’d said. Or she simply didn’t care to be with him in that way anymore.
The thought that she might’ve lost interest gave him a sick feeling. But there were times, plenty of them, when he’d catch her looking at his mouth or some other part of his body as if she was feeling the same desire he felt. That was what confused him.
On the first of April, Bruiser came, sans Jacqueline and Brianne, since Brianne had a terrible cold, for New Horizons’s big fund-raiser. Hudson always helped out by signing sports memorabilia for the live auction and attending the event to shake hands and sign autographs. He also auctioned off the opportunity to have dinner with him. And at the end of the evening, he matched the gross proceeds. It was a big night for him and Aiyana—for everyone who cared about the boys ranch—and it turned out to be even bigger with Bruiser in attendance, doing a lot of the same things to raise money.
“Ellie looked gorgeous tonight,” Bruiser said as they played a game of pool after Ellie had gone to bed. She’d hung out with them for a while, but then said she was tired.
Hudson pretended he was too interested in chalking his stick to agree, but he’d noticed. On the way over, she’d made a comment about how difficult it was for a pregnant woman to look good in something fancy, but he’d thought she was the most beautiful woman there. She looked so good to him that all he could think about was how great it would be to get her back in his bed...
“Hudson?”
He turned when Bruiser said his name.
“Didn’t you hear me?”
“Yeah. You said Ellie looked nice tonight.”
“Don’t you agree?”
“Of course. She always looks nice.”
Bruiser folded his arms around his stick. “Cracked me up how she kept bidding on your dinner.”
“She almost won yours,” Hudson pointed out drily.
“Only because yours went so high. Why would she pay $25,000 to eat with you when she lives with you? Mine went for a fraction of that.”
“She went up to five thousand before giving up on both of us. Good thing she didn’t win.”
“Her bidding kept the prices rising. She was a big help—although I know her bids were genuine.”
Hudson remembered how often she’d put up her bidding paddle. He’d almost thrown her out of the event—would have if he could’ve figured out how to do it without embarrassing her. She didn’t have the kind of money she was trying to donate to the school, and she wouldn’t let him give her any extra. They’d already argued about money the day he’d taken her shopping for maternity clothes in LA, and she wouldn’t let him pay for anything. “That soft heart of hers is going to get her in trouble one day.”