Until We Meet Again(87)
was planning to give this to you once we…once we were truly
together. But last night I realized that no matter what, you are
the love of my life. I want you to have it. And I make the same
promise my father did to my mother. Whenever you look at
this ring, you can know that I will be thinking of you.”
I try to keep the swell of tears from spilling over, but it’s
no use. Setting my hand over his, I feel the ring between our
palms. It cuts into me deeper than any blade ever could.
“I can’t take it. It will break my heart.”
“Please,” he says, stroking my cheek. “It will break my heart
to keep it. It belongs to you, Cassandra.”
He lifts my hand and slides the ring onto my finger. It hangs
loose, a few sizes too big. He twists his lips to the side and
places it on my pointer finger. “I guess now you know where
I get my fat fingers from.”
We both laugh. I wipe a few more tears and kiss his hands
fiercely. “I love your fat fingers.”
He smiles and then holds my hand out to examine it. “This
ring belongs here. It’s perfect. Nearly as beautiful as you are.”
“I wish I’d brought something for you,” I say softly.
Lawrence strokes the skin on the back of my hand. “You don’t
have to. You’ve given me the greatest gift anyone ever could.”
“I want to give you more than just my love.”
“Cassandra, you gave me my life. And I don’t only mean by
saving me from Ned. It’s more. So much more.” He touches
the envelope in my hand. “You’ve given me a voice.”
I stare at the words on the page.
“Don’t you see?” Lawrence says. “Loving you has given me
the courage to do what I should have done long ago.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m not going to law school. I’m going to write. I’m going
to go home tomorrow and say good-bye to my father. Then it’s
on to New York or Paris or anywhere my writing takes me.”
His beautiful eyes shine, even in the fading light. His happiness fills me with a bursting, soaring joy.
“I’m so happy for you. You’ll be an amazing writer, Lawrence.
I know it.”
“I may be a lousy writer. But I’ll be a writer. And I have you
to thank for it.”
Meeting Lawrence may not have been some grand plan
devised by fate, but it doesn’t matter. Knowing him, loving him,
that is enough. Even if I can’t be with Lawrence forever, he’s still
made a difference in my life. I’m a different person, a better
person for having known him, however brief that time was.
Love is its own reason.
I set my hand to Lawrence’s face. We don’t kiss. We just
look into each other’s eyes. Everything that’s passed between
us, every moment, every feeling of agony and bliss, surges
from his soul to mine and from mine to his.
“I love you,” Lawrence says, his voice heavy with emotion.
“I wish there were better, more meaningful words to express
how much.”
“A kiss could be a good start,” I say, smiling.
He obliges me. As the warm night envelops around us, we
push away every other thought but our kiss.
We take our place at our favorite spot. It seems only fitting.
Lawrence keeps his arms around me as we walk, as if he can’t
bear the thought of being apart even one second before we
have to. We’re quiet, but then he asks the dreaded question:
“When does the moon rise?”
“In about fifteen minutes.”
“So soon?”
I rest my cheek to his shoulder. “Try not to think about it.”
“How can I not?” He sighs deeply. “This is agony, Cassandra.
I’d almost rather we just say good-bye and part ways.”
“Would you really?”
He closes his eyes. “No. Of course not. I want to spend
every moment I can with you.”
“Then just hold me.”
The minutes pass without mercy. Each moment fills me
with deeper and deeper sorrow. And then we notice the
first gleam of light on the horizon of the ocean. The moon.
It’s here.
“I’m not ready,” he says. “I can’t let you go.”
I can tell from the way his voice shakes that he’s crying, but
I don’t dare look at him. The sight of his tears will break my
heart forever.
“We have to let go, Lawrence.”
He pulls away from me. His eyes glisten, and tears spill
down his cheeks. I wipe them away, kissing the wet trail as I
do. He takes my face in his hands and kisses me. Even as I try
to just enjoy the moment, I can’t help but think that I’ll never
again find a kiss as beautiful as this
The glow from the rising moon grows brighter.
Lawrence draws a shaking breath, trying to compose himself.