Unexpected Arrivals(50)
“Yeah, you know…the smarmy old men with lots of money who die their hair black leaving it with a blue tinge?”
“Totally not my cup of tea.”
“What about the people you work with?”
“Most of them are considerably older than I am and don’t live on the island. They drive in for the jobs and leave. And even if they were, I never actually work with anyone. I’m always at a bar by myself. Not much of a chance to make friends.”
“I wish I had great advice. It’s been so long since I’ve lived there, I really don’t know of anyone still around and haven’t met anyone new who’s moved in.”
“It’s not a big deal. I didn’t come here to make social connections. My focus should be on my mom and Dottie, anyhow.”
“Even so, everyone needs to have friends to hang out with. What about your friends in Chicago?”
I didn’t want to admit I didn’t have any. We’d all gone our separate ways after high school. Most of them went to college, and when I stayed home because my mom was sick, the relationships just kind of drifted. Nothing bad happened; we all just led separate lives. “I still talk to them some, but it’s hard to keep up long-distance friendships. You know, with work and family.”
“You should get involved with some of the women’s groups in town. There are tons of volunteer things and charity crap always going on. They wouldn’t be your age, although it might give you something to focus on and maybe make you feel good in the process.”
“I’ll have to see what I can find.”
“My mom is pretty heavily involved. I can have her reach out to you.”
He’d lost his mind if he thought I had any desire to talk to his mom. She terrified me. “I doubt she’d be interested in mingling with the help. But thanks. I’ll be okay.” I hoped I hadn’t hurt his feelings, but based on what I’d seen of him with his parents, it was unlikely.
“I get it. Just don’t sit around wasting away while taking care of everyone else, okay?” If only he knew how true that sentiment was.
“I won’t.”
“I need to get back to work so I’m not here until midnight. Don’t be a stranger.”
“Night, Carp.”
He said goodbye, and we hung up. I knew I was where I was supposed to be—with Mom and Dottie—but sometimes, the loneliness closed in and made it hard to breathe. I wanted to be like my mom had been my whole life—to live every day as if it were my last—however, knowing any day could be my mom’s last kept me from my own adventures. I felt selfish thinking that way; she’d give me everything and had always been my best friend. I owed it to her to give her some of me, and hope when it was over, there was still time left to have my own life.
***
My hands trembled as I handed the money to the cashier at the drug store. When I grabbed the plastic bag and my receipt, the rustling sound echoed in my ears like thunder. My arm jerked in response, and I felt like a spaz when the guy behind the counter stared at me with wide eyes.
“Thank you.” I tried to smile, although the awkward grin did nothing other than earn a confused stare in return.
I hadn’t asked Dottie to bring me because I refused to admit what I needed. Yet now that I was carrying a bag from the pharmacy, I wasn’t sure how I would explain what I’d picked up on my walk. My legs got stiff a lot, and she never questioned how long I was gone, though I never wanted to give her a reason not to trust me, either. Lost in my thoughts, I took the wrong turn, and it ended up taking me another fifteen minutes to find my way back to the cottage. Thankfully, when I walked in, Dottie wasn’t home. She’d left a note on the counter informing me she’d gone to the grocery store. I wasn’t sure how I hadn’t seen her pass me but was grateful for the reprieve.
I considered praying before I sat down on the toilet, except prayers hadn’t changed anything up to this point in my life, and I doubted they would change the outcome of this test. Whatever was meant to be would be. I only hoped I was late due to stress. The last few weeks had been nothing but turmoil and sadness going back and forth to Tampa, and it had taken a toll on my health. Hopefully, this was just another side effect.
When I set the stick down on the granite and washed my hands, something told me I wouldn’t like what I saw. I was right—two pink lines stared at me, blazing like neon lights. With the test in my hand, I sat down on the floor and cried.
James and I had developed a strong friendship. Even though we talked all the time, I wasn’t interested in sharing a baby with him, and there wasn’t a doubt in my mind he felt the same. He was in love with Cora, and this would destroy any chance he had of getting back together with her. No woman in their right mind would want to be with a man who had gotten another woman pregnant. It wouldn’t matter that they hadn’t been together when it happened or what he’d done since.
“Chelsea, sweetheart, why are you crying?” Dottie’s concern came from the open bathroom door.
I didn’t know how long I’d been sitting there, but I hadn’t heard her come in, and I couldn’t hide the evidence still in my hand.
“Did something happen to your mom? No one called me.”
I just shook my head, unable to respond. As much as I wanted to hide my dirty secret, there was no way I could face this on my own. And without being able to go to James, I had no other choice than to tell Dottie. I dreaded seeing the disappointment on her face, though it was less daunting than destroying James’s life.