Twisted Cravings (The Camorra Chronicles, #6)(60)

Dinara propped her head up. “No, I don’t want to use you as my assassin.

That was never the plan. Fuck, when I came here to find out more about my past, I didn’t think it would end with me making a plan to go on a killing spree with you.”

I searched her face. I couldn’t detect a hint of a lie in her voice. “But you were curious about me and my brothers killing our mother.”

“Of course, I was. If you meet someone who’s stabbed their mother, it’s bound to be the most interesting thing about them, even if your life probably entails many interesting incidents.”

“Your father is Pakhan. Your life certainly hasn’t been boring either.”

Dinara’s mouth pulled into a tight line. “Dad tried to give me the life of a princess, or rather life of a tsarina. My wardrobes are filled with more dresses than I can ever wear and I own jewelry that’s worth many millions. There’s staff for every little demand in our home. I attended balls in Russia and parties in Chicago. I lived a boring life.”

“It sounds like you lived the life of someone else. I can’t imagine you in a ballgown, exchanging pleasantries with stuck-up people.”

“I felt like an impostor.”

“Then why did you do it? Why didn’t you tell your father that wasn’t you.”

“He knows that’s not me, but he hopes that’s who I could become. He thinks it’s a sign for my continued suffering that I don’t enjoy meaningless revelries like many other girls in our circle do. He thinks he could fix me by showing me that side of life. And I humor him because it makes him feel better. I see it as my job, and I get paid very well.”

I chuckled. “That’s one way of looking at it. But waltzing over dancefloors was only a small part of what you did.”

“Dima took me on adventures, to races and parties, to parts of Chicago I shouldn’t be setting foot in.”

“But your father knew.”

“Dima is his man. He tells him everything, but Dad accepted the untamable part of me and allowed me to live it, as long as he didn’t have to witness it.”

“Maybe he’ll eventually accept that this is who you are, untamable and strong, because you want to be, and not as a sign of past horrors.”

“Maybe,” she agreed but doubt filled the word. “You mentioned that your brother has the names and addresses of the men who molested me.”

“I’ll call him in the morning and ask him to email them to me.”

“He’ll probably be pissed if he finds out I’m dragging you into this mess with me.”

Remo was all for vengeance and bloody vendettas, especially if they involved horrible mothers, but he was certainly weary of Dinara’s motives.

He thought he still needed to protect me when I was perfectly capable of protecting myself.

“I’ve been considering asking Dima to help me, maybe even my father.

They both would kill every person who hurt me.”

I frowned. “I told you I’d help you. There’s no reason for you to ask anyone else, especially because Remo won’t be happy if your father breaches our territory.”

“I’d do it to show you that I’m not here because I need your help. I don’t want you to think what’s between us serves the purpose of making you help me. That’s not the case. I wanted information, that was it. Now that I have it, I wouldn’t need you anymore, especially now that I know that Remo is willing to give me all the info I need to get revenge.”

“Ouch,” I said dryly. “Good to know you don’t need me anymore.” I gave her a sarcastic smile.

She rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean. I’m here because I enjoy being with you, the sex, the talking, everything. I’m here because I want to be.”

I raked my fingers through her hair, enjoying the silky feel of it against my skin. Dinara had the softest hair I could imagine. “There’s no place I’d rather be than at your side, even if it involves brutal revenge.”

Dinara sighed. “What about after? When the revenge part is over. We are who we are.”

“You’ve said it before,” I murmured. “How about we take one day after the other?”

“Deal,” she said before she became silent for a couple of minutes. The tension entering her body told me her thoughts had drifted back to the past.

“I think we need to make them watch the recordings when we confront them—before we deal with them.”

“That serves two purposes. They’ll be reminded of their sins and you’ll be angry enough to exact revenge.”

Dinara huffed out a dark laugh. “Do you think I’ll need further encouragement to kill them?”

“If you’ve never killed, maybe. The first kill is always the hardest.” “Was it for you?”

“It was during an attack to save my own and my brothers’ lives, so I didn’t have time to think. I just pulled the trigger. My hardest kill was the one after, the one Remo had me do to become a Camorrista. He made me angry at the guy before I had to shoot him. It made things easier.”

“I suppose it does. I don’t think anger will be an issue, but what if I freeze up like I did with my mother? What if I become this helpless girl who can’t do anything?”