Twelfth Night with the Earl (The Sutherland Sisters #3)(36)

“A state? If you mean it’s harder than a fireplace poker, then yes, I’d have to agree with you.”

Hard, and growing harder by the minute as her gaze lingered on it. “Aren’t you supposed to do something with it when it’s like that?”

“Something?” He grinned down at her, his eyes dancing. “What do you suggest?”

Thea blew out a breath, exasperated by his teasing. “Don’t you want me, Ethan?”

His gazed down at her, and Thea caught her breath as his smile melted into a look of infinite tenderness. “I do want you, so much, sweetheart. Never doubt that. But as much as I want you, I wouldn’t take you if I also didn’t . . .” He trailed off, swallowed. “If I also didn’t love you, Thea.”

Thea went still, every limb frozen as she tried to understand what he was saying. Did he mean he wouldn’t make love to her tonight because he didn’t love her, or—

“I’m not going to close Cleves Court. I love you, Thea, and I’m not leaving here, ever. Not without you.”

Thea’s breath stopped.

A thousand different emotions flooded her at once, a rush of joy and love so intense it left her dizzy. She wanted to tell him she loved him, too—with all her heart—but she couldn’t speak. She could only gaze silently up at him, her heart turning over in her chest at the softness in his blue eyes.

Ethan’s own gaze grew anxious as the seconds ticked away without her saying a word. “I hope you’ll agree to go to London every now and then—not to escape Cleves Court,” he added quickly, looking awkward, “but because I’d like to show London to you.” He rushed on, as if to fill the silence. “I think you’ll like it, or parts of it, at least, and I have some friends I’d like you to meet, and—”

She touched her fingers to his lips to quiet him. “I love you too, Ethan. I’ve always loved you, ever since I was a girl. I never stopped.”

He fell silent, his blue gaze holding hers, then he gathered her hands in his and raised them to his lips. “Even when I demanded fresh apple tarts every hour, you didn’t stop?”

“Even then.” She grinned up at him. “I may have considered drowning you in your wash basin, but I never stopped loving you.”

He let out a husky laugh, and took her lips in a hard kiss. When he raised his head, he was grinning back at her. “Did you love me even when I threw the teapot?”

“Yes, even then, though you deserved to be thrashed. Shall I punish you now?” She brought his mouth to hers and nipped at his lower lip.

A low growl rose from his chest. “Punish me more.” He opened his mouth over hers, his hot tongue darting at the seam of her lips until she opened for him. When he pulled away, they were both gasping. He traced a finger around her swollen lips. “When did you first realize you loved me?”

“Hmmm.” She pretended to consider it, then, “The first time I saw your bare bottom. Yes, I feel certain that was the very day I fell in love with you.”

He laughed, but after a moment his smile faded. “I haven’t escaped my ghosts yet, Thea, and I may never escape them. I’m not nearly good enough for you—”

“Don’t ever say such a thing again.” She leaned forward to press her mouth to his chest, against the warm skin over his heart. “Inside, you’re who you’ve ever been. Not Lord Devon, not the earl, but Ethan. I loved you when you were a boy, and I love you now, as a man, for all the same reasons.”

He took her into his arms then, and buried his face in her neck. They stayed that way for a long time, whispering to each other, his hands tangled in her hair, but at last Thea pulled away.

“I’m wondering about something you said, Ethan.”

He twirled a lock of her long hair between his fingers. “What’s that, sweetheart?”

“Well, it’s just . . . you said you wouldn’t make love to me unless you were also in love with me.”

“I did say that, yes.” His eyes gleamed, and a corner of his mouth lifted in a smile.

Oh, he was a very devil, with those teasing blue eyes of his. “But then you said . . . you told me you are in love with me.”

“Desperately in love, yes.”

“Then . . .” Thea hesitated for a moment, but she wanted to touch him—had wanted to touch him for forever, it seemed. She slipped her hand into the opening at the neck of his shirt and let her palm caress his shoulder before she dragged her hand down the center of his chest. “Then will you make love to me now?”

His eyes went dark, and he sat up on the bed, pulled his shirt over his head, and then lay back down beside her.

“Oh, my. You’re so . . .”

Beautiful.

It wasn’t a word often used to describe a man, but as Thea ran her greedy gaze over his sculpted shoulders, hard chest and taut belly, it was the only word she could think of that did him justice. “Such smooth skin,” she murmured, her voice full of wonder. She raked her fingers though the hair on his chest, then moved lower, amazed at the way the muscles in his stomach leapt under her palm.

“Wait.” Ethan wrapped his fingers around her wrist, moved her hand away from his body, and sat up in the bed.

Thea came up on her elbows beside him, suddenly anxious. Wasn’t she meant to touch him? She wanted to, more than anything, but perhaps a lady wasn’t supposed to be so forward. “I—don’t you want me to touch you?”